College confessional: How do you define the term "virgin?"

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  Posted by Raeshaun Fri May 30, 2008 3:05pm PDT

  hi

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  Posted by Mary Alice Fri May 30, 2008 5:04pm PDT

  Maybe the word and the concept of "virginity" is as obsolete as that of "miscegenation". Both words should soon go into dictionaries with the notation "obs" after them; that would make it official.

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  Posted by marcoq Fri May 30, 2008 8:50pm PDT

  Wow, you make virginity sound as if it were a disease and you have to shake it off as soon as possible, or it'll give you cancer. I even sense a aggressive tone. I agree that a person stops being a "Virgin" as soon as he or she has a sexual encounter, be it with a person of the opposite sex or not. But lets be frank, the term, or better put, the concept of virginity, or celibate, is not something that is to be used these days, by ANY of the standards you mentioned above. Virginity is not a "state" of pre or post sexual activity, it is more of a desire to keep oneself from "knowing" another person until he or she is ready to spend the rest of their lives with the right partner. So, in reality, virginity transcends the idea of keeping away from penetration OR any sexual activity in particular, it is more of GIVING that pure and untouched sexual pleasure to just one person.

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  It is actually one of those concepts that have lost their purest meanings in our society, and yet people still try to integrate them to their lives, resulting in a misconception of the term; just like marriage. What is marriage? You see, to me, and to all my family, it is the incredible desire to be with someone (Sexually and otherwise) for the rest of their lives, and preserving their "Purity" until the day of marriage comes. Bu what happens in society these days? Something called "Free union". Unless I'm mistaken, the idea of bonding our lives and possessions with another person's is the RESULT of publicly proclaiming that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with such person, not the other way around, where you live with a person with no publicly recognized bond UNLESS you want to make it public. If you live in a "free union", marriage loses its original meaning and remains only as the political and public proclamation of union, instead of intimacy and love and the desire to be with someone, since you are already.

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  Posted by Melissa Sat May 31, 2008 1:43am PDT

  I agree with deoxyreibonucleic_acid. There's no need to associate being a "virgin" with being a freak. When you reach certain age and you still got it people wonder about what's wrong with you. There's a lot of pressure to get rid of it and that takes teenage boys and girls to awkward situations that they may not be ready to handle. I'm not throwing a pro-virginity campaign here. I believe that sexuality is something personal and individual and it should come when the time is right. Sure, times have changed, talking about sex is less uncomfortable and it comes more natural. But with the same "open mind", society should give a break to the ones that are still holding on to it and keeping it until the time is right for them, because as unique human beings, we have our own concept of what our "V-card" is.

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  Posted by Beth Sat May 31, 2008 8:39am PDT

  I don't agree with the last two comments. I don't see how Colin is giving the impression that the term Virgin is a bad thing. He's just disagreeing with Psychology Today's definition of a Virgin. I fully agree with him on that. If you go and speak with remote tribes where ownership is not part of their society, they do not have a word that means "Virgin". The importance of "Virginity" only came into play in our history when ownership of property started to matter. In order to ensure that the families fortune would stay in the family, it was required of the bride to remain "pure" until marriage. That way they husband knew he was the only one who would be getting her pregnant.

  Back then Virginity could be check by examining if the woman's Hymen had been broken. This method can be disputed easily now with medical advancement that has proven all women's Hymens are different.

  To me, there are different levels of virginity. But in the long run anyone who has participated in any sexual act is no longer a virgin in my eyes.

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  Posted by ShashDelics Sat May 31, 2008 12:57pm PDT

  HI everyone. I say that to remain a virgin, for let's say at the age of 25 years, its a big deal. I think that this virgin guy/girl should be proud rather than feeling "alienated". It would be kinda equitable to have a good balance between numbers of virgin and non-virgin. In this way virgin people will feel more at ease and both parties will be satisfied in the sense that they will satisfy demand on both sides. It is a lil bit to see that most teenagers lost their virginity at a very young age and it is more and more difficult for non-virgins to find their pairs in life.

  That's all (and i know its a big ambiguous that i've said ;-))

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  Posted by battleship Sat May 31, 2008 5:15pm PDT

  If a woman is over the age of 40 and never had sex with a man. I would say. She is awful ugly or she is a lesbian.

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  Posted by KarenY Sat May 31, 2008 8:28pm PDT

  Virgin to me means very true and sincere love cos to him everyday she is a virgin even after having 3 or 4 kids so virginity shoukd be in the eyes of every different people mind

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  Posted by princess_bubble_wrap Sat May 31, 2008 8:36pm PDT

  being a virgin..well u can be virgin in many ways..there is oral sex..anal sex..vaginal sex..i think most society relates vaginal sex with virginity..so if u give other than vaginal u aint a virgin that way but u are still a virgin as far as vag...let me tell u i am 2 days out of surgery..had 3 in 2 months..i consider vaginal very much virgin.that area is just sacred..but if u give up any kind of sex..then u aint a virgin in that area and u have crossed a line..one u cant come back from and in this society u will not be considered a virgin..even if u do have a hymen..u put yourself out there and aint no taking back u are considered sexually active..non virgin

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  Posted by Beege Sat May 31, 2008 8:42pm PDT

  Virginity is a state of mind. If you seriously think you are a virgin then you are. I believe that persons have the right to define themselves. Placing absolutes on them is no one else's business. And it is their privilege to start over with a clean slate.

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