Love + Sex

Monday, November 23, 2009

Confessions of a Wedding Planner: 5 Signs a Couple Will Crash and Burn

Cosmo's Wedding Blowout

Cosmo's Wedding Blowout

After witnessing 50 to 80 weddings per year (and being exposed to behaviors that a couple doesn't always reveal to others), a wedding planner has identified some signs that scream "Red flag!" Here, she spills the predictors of whether a couple will live happily ever after or bite the dust.

1. The Bride Refuses to Let the Groom Choose the Cake

"Brides are almost always more interested in the minutiae of wedding planning than grooms are. But when I encounter a woman who refuses to relinquish any control to her fiancé, it doesn't bode well. I can think of a few instances in which the woman ruled the event with an iron fist and the couple ended up in divorce court a few years later. Basically, they weren't able to make decisions together."

Want the flip side to each of these signs? Read the complete article on Cosmo's official website.

2. The Groom Lets His Mom Call the Shots

"Most of my brides involve their moms in the planning process, and why wouldn't they? It's like having a second planner for free. But sometimes, grooms' mothers try to muscle in too, which is something I'll never understand. Not only is it inappropriate, but it's up to her son to tell her that."

3. The Bride Blows Half the Budget on Her Dress

"Weddings are pricier than ever, and money-related issues can cause a lot of undue tension. So when a bride goes behind her groom's back and splurges on a big-name dress or expensive flower arrangements, I start to get nervous. It's a huge sign that she doesn't respect him and refuses to compromise...and trust me, those tendencies don't disappear after she walks down the aisle. I have worked with tons of couples who fought viciously over the wedding budget and learned later that many of them continued to argue and eventually split."

4. The Bride Freaks Over the Groom's Bachelor Party

"I've seen some women wig out about the possibility of her guy having a boys' night at a strip club. One client of mine even threatened to leave her fiancé if he had a bachelor party. But my motto is: If you can't trust him, why the hell are you walking down the aisle?!"

Wondering how wild typical prewedding bashes can get? Read Cosmo's Confessions of a Bachelor Party Stripper.

5. The Bride and Groom Fight in Front of Me

"No matter how in love two people may be, planning a ceremony and reception is overwhelming and will no doubt cause a few tiffs. But warning bells immediately start ringing for me if the couple gets really heated with each other in my presence. Arguments are private, and dragging me into them shows that there is a lack of respect for each other and for their bond."

More from Cosmopolitan.com:

5 Signs He's About to Propose

Hints that your boyfriend is about to put a ring on it


Add Oomph to Newlywed Nooky

How to have the best sex of your life on the best day of your life


Quiz: Are You Really Ready to Get Married?

Or are you actually in zero rush?


Will He Ever Marry You?

An expert reveals the tipping point...


When Everyone's Getting Married and You're Still Single

5 tips for dealing with this emotional rollercoaster

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.  

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 565
  • Elm's Avatar
    Posted by Elm Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:34am PDT

    Attack of the Bridezillas! Some women take their wedding planning to the extreme. That's why I kept mine as simple as possible and we were both happy.

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:09am PDT

    Me, my guy, a few friends and a justice of the peace. This wedding nonsense is a waste of money. I never hear good stories...just horror stories about nasty fights with the finace, tux issues, dress issues, the flowers being dead, the cake tasting like cardboard, the grooms mother interfering and the maid of honor sleeping with the best man. Ugh. All of that is so NOT the point of getting married.

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  • Ms.Marie's Avatar
    Posted by Ms.Marie Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:39pm PDT

    I agree about everything but the bachelor party. For some women its not about whether or not they trust him not to cheat on her, many women believe that strip clubs are demeaning and disrespectful. Not to mention my husband wouldn't want some guys junk in my face...

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  • irie's Avatar
    Posted by irie Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:46pm PDT

    This is right on point! I am in the thick of my wedding plans (September wedding) and I can see this is the true test of if your relationship is the right one. The wedding is not just for the bride (I love my groom - he says this is my day so I can do whatever I want) - it's for both in the relationship. I want my future husband to be a part of the planning and make decisions with me (even if we don't agree - it's a great exercise in compromise). On bachelor parties - We both have told our wedding party - do NOT waste your money on strippers/hookers. But if it happens - oh well. I am not coming between my future husband and his friends. I am MARRYING him - not adopting him. He is a big boy and capable of making his own decisions. I am not marrying him to spend the next 50 years telling him what he can and can't do. If he told me I couldn't have or do something I wanted - I'd kick him to the curb - it works both ways!

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  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:56pm PDT

    I agree with everything but the Bachelor/ette parties. That is such a BS line, "if you can't trust him, why the hell are you walking down the aisle" Yeah, I trusted my ex (and this was not why we ended up divorced four years later) and he went to the Mustang Ranch. I'm sorry, but it's 100 percent the truth that when somebody is drunk and/or being egged on by their friends all common sense and thoughts of guilt go right out the window. If you respect and care about your future spouse's feelings, you will not participate in this outdated and stupid last round of "freedom" ride unless you BOTH want it, then that's each individual's business.

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  • TasselLady's Avatar
    Posted by TasselLady Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:22pm PDT

    I'm too practical. I couldn't buy an expensive wedding dress even if I wanted it, and I wouldn't expect anyone to buy it for me either. If I get married in a nice skirt and blouse I'll be happy. I'm for saving money for AFTER the wedding, and just have a simple potluck dinner afterward and some cake. I've watched too many people spend thousands on a wedding only to be divorced two years later. I'd rather keep it simple, then you will keep your sanity when planning your big day!!!!!!!

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  • teardrop's Avatar
    Posted by teardrop Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:00pm PDT

    I think people put too much emphasis on the big day than what the couple wants; keep it simple.

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  • JP's Avatar
    Posted by JP Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:52pm PDT

    I planned my own wedding at our home with all of our relatives & best friends there. My wedding dress was bought at a 2nd hand store & every one thought I had it made custom !!! In all I think I spent around 3 grand total & every one was mentioning how my yard looked like a fairy land !!!

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:06am PDT

    Okay if you read this page and you go to the link that talks about bachlor parties. Well read it. Cuz after I read it I know this for a fact. I really do trust my boyfriend but I wouldnt want some girl especially a stripper rubbing her butt against his d*ck like that.

    Or hey I just thought of an idea. If any of you know that you have a close female friend who knows how to dance sexy like strippers but they are more decent than those than you can have them dance at the bachlor party so that you know for sure your groom wont do anything stupid cuz he dont have to know that your friend is the dance. My boyfriend doesnt know all of my female friends.

    My boyfriend went to a strip club for his 21st birthday. from what he told me I knew I wouldnt ever want him doing that kind of thing again even though I wasnt mad at him for going cuz I didnt even know him at the time he went.

    But I dont think I would want to have those parties cuz the one friend he has I dont trust cuz he encourges that kind of thing considering the fact that he is single. Just like I wouldnt go to a girls version cuz I'm taken. Strip clubs should only be for single guys. I'm sorry to everyone out there I might offend but that is what I think and how I was raised.

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  • lonely girl's Avatar
    Posted by lonely girl Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:41am PDT

    I THINK MY BOYFRIEND IS REAL ARROGANT RUDY AND CHEATING... BUT I LOVE HIM

    Report Abuse
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