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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Confessions of a Wedding Planner: 5 Signs a Couple Will Crash and Burn

Cosmo's Wedding Blowout

Cosmo's Wedding Blowout

After witnessing 50 to 80 weddings per year (and being exposed to behaviors that a couple doesn't always reveal to others), a wedding planner has identified some signs that scream "Red flag!" Here, she spills the predictors of whether a couple will live happily ever after or bite the dust.

1. The Bride Refuses to Let the Groom Choose the Cake

"Brides are almost always more interested in the minutiae of wedding planning than grooms are. But when I encounter a woman who refuses to relinquish any control to her fiancé, it doesn't bode well. I can think of a few instances in which the woman ruled the event with an iron fist and the couple ended up in divorce court a few years later. Basically, they weren't able to make decisions together."

Want the flip side to each of these signs? Read the complete article on Cosmo's official website.

2. The Groom Lets His Mom Call the Shots

"Most of my brides involve their moms in the planning process, and why wouldn't they? It's like having a second planner for free. But sometimes, grooms' mothers try to muscle in too, which is something I'll never understand. Not only is it inappropriate, but it's up to her son to tell her that."

3. The Bride Blows Half the Budget on Her Dress

"Weddings are pricier than ever, and money-related issues can cause a lot of undue tension. So when a bride goes behind her groom's back and splurges on a big-name dress or expensive flower arrangements, I start to get nervous. It's a huge sign that she doesn't respect him and refuses to compromise...and trust me, those tendencies don't disappear after she walks down the aisle. I have worked with tons of couples who fought viciously over the wedding budget and learned later that many of them continued to argue and eventually split."

4. The Bride Freaks Over the Groom's Bachelor Party

"I've seen some women wig out about the possibility of her guy having a boys' night at a strip club. One client of mine even threatened to leave her fiancé if he had a bachelor party. But my motto is: If you can't trust him, why the hell are you walking down the aisle?!"

Wondering how wild typical prewedding bashes can get? Read Cosmo's Confessions of a Bachelor Party Stripper.

5. The Bride and Groom Fight in Front of Me

"No matter how in love two people may be, planning a ceremony and reception is overwhelming and will no doubt cause a few tiffs. But warning bells immediately start ringing for me if the couple gets really heated with each other in my presence. Arguments are private, and dragging me into them shows that there is a lack of respect for each other and for their bond."

More from Cosmopolitan.com:

5 Signs He's About to Propose

Hints that your boyfriend is about to put a ring on it


Add Oomph to Newlywed Nooky

How to have the best sex of your life on the best day of your life


Quiz: Are You Really Ready to Get Married?

Or are you actually in zero rush?


Will He Ever Marry You?

An expert reveals the tipping point...


When Everyone's Getting Married and You're Still Single

5 tips for dealing with this emotional rollercoaster

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.  

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From the Community…

Comments 561-565 of 565
  • Nancy B's Avatar
    Posted by Nancy B Fri Jul 3, 2009 7:34am PDT

    I myself never plan to marry but i do have a question for those that are, and this has to do with # 3. If a man can rent a tux,why can't a women rent a wedding gown or is there a law out there somewhere that says she has to blow the entire life savings on a gown. Just curious.

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  • TAyo O's Avatar
    Posted by TAyo O Fri Jul 3, 2009 7:48am PDT

    Whoever wrote this article is obviously a dumba $ s... And who are the idiots that still think that they have to have bachelor parties anyway? "OMG, i'm about to go become a prisoner of my wife so I have to do something stupid a day before tthe wedding!!" And not letting the groom's mom help with the wedding is the dumbest one of those points.

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  • Emily's Mommy's Avatar
    Posted by Emily's Mommy Fri Jul 3, 2009 8:54am PDT

    I agree with all of these, but what's the deal with the cake? Is it a tradition for the groom to choose the cake? If so, I have never heard of this tradition. I chose the cake for our wedding and it was absolutely delicious. We will be celebrating our 5th anniversary in September and even today when anyone talks about our wedding one of the things that always comes up is how wonderful that cake was-LOL. BTW-it was white cake with a lemon filling & white buttercream frosting. I wanted it to be something that I thought everyone would like, so I kept it pretty neutral.

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  • Anacaly's Avatar
    Posted by Anacaly Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:35pm PDT

    I agree with #2, unless you ask for input, she should keep out! Most men don't like to make decisions for the wedding, they leave it up too the bride, so I don’t see why this is a big deal. Some men do and they should have a say so. Especially if they are the ones paying for it. If neither likes something, they should come to an agreement or compromise. It’s 50/50.

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  • AngelaL's Avatar
    Posted by AngelaL Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:22am PDT

    Gina: "I'm a bit traditionalist, but a woman has to understand that her husband is the head of their household. She has to learn to yield."

    No, the couple has to learn how to be equal partners. If one or both of them is a control freak during the engagement, they're going to be a control freak during the marriage, regardless of their gender.

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