Could You Marry or Be In A Serious Relationship with a Man That Was Once a Player or Womanizer?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Shay Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:34am PDT

  I actually am in this situation right now... I am dating a womanizer, or at least I was dating a womanizer. It worked for about 2 years... although he insists that he has not been unfaithful since we were officially a couple, I don't believe that he would ever change... Comments like, "I'd hit that" or "she's fu*kable" have been lodged in my head like a bullet and caused me to finally see that this is not a healthy relationship for me.

  Furthermore, when we speak bout the future and having children he says that I will have AT LEAST ONE of his kids… I’m sorry, I don’t like the “At Least” part… He should be able to say, yea I see myself having kids with you… I see you as the mother of my children. Not one of the mothers of my kids… I did not sign up to be a “baby’s momma” and never will…

  I believe that he should just go out and find a woman that is not into monogamy just like him... but for me to remain in a situation where I am constantly worried about him straying just doesn't feel good to me...

  - Shay

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  Posted by Jean Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:54am PDT

  Hey Shay,

  I am so sorry to hear that you went through that. You deserve so much more than that. Who wants to be with someone that makes you feel like you will never be enough.

  Good luck girl. You'll find someone that will treasure and cherish you for the jewel that you are.

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  Posted by SpinD Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:11pm PDT

  If the womanizer finds the right person. Yes I believe it is possible for them to settle down with one person. I have been with a womanizer for 4 years and we are still very much in love. I trust him and I think that makes the world of difference.

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  Posted by SpinD Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:22pm PDT

  Let me add to my earlier thought.....

  A womanizer is a person that has not found the one person that will satisfy them in every way (and I am not just talking about sex) . Believe me when I first got with my womanizer I knew it before hand. He had told me what he has done who he had been with, EVERYTHING. I still accepted him for it. And he knows that if he cheats on me I will NOT wait for him or be there for him. I did not get into the relationship thinking that I will change him. I really don't want to change him. If he changes it is all on him own, because he wants to. To this date I do not think he has cheated on me and I am not promising that he will never cheat on me, if he does I will not regret being with him. I knew what he was like. I know most girls will probable stuff their finger down their throat when I say this but I truly believe he loves me.

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  Posted by Jean Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:09pm PDT

  Hey Spin,

  Well I'm glad that your expereince with a womanizer has been a good one and I hope that it continues down that path. =)

  I also hope that my friend will be one that converts over to the one woman side as well one day. He is a great person....he just needs to realize that sex isn't everything. LOL! However, I think that his sex issue probably steams from his relationship with his mother.

  Good Luck with your man. =)

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  Posted by another hockey fan Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:36am PDT

  Like SpinD, I myself married a womanizer and in my opinion, the worst kind. He's a musician! ;-) Anyhow, I think it all depends upon a lot of factors. My hubby came from a very loving and healthy family and grew up in the 60's. So he was a young man in the 70's when he was in his band. As we all know, the 70's were all about sex, drugs and rock and roll and he was just living the single free-spirited lifestyle and the ladies loved it too. He is now "retired" from that and 57. He shared everything with me (like SpinD's S/O) about his past and I was totally excited about it. I was always into rock music, grew up with musicians, etc so I understood. Do I worry about his cheating, NO. For one thing, I'm 44 and in great shape, the total package to him. Aside from that we have a great relationship no fights, we communicate about everything and work together towards goals, etc. So again, it all depends upon the person and where they came from, how healthy they are emotionally and where they place their morals and values.

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Fri Jul 24, 2009 7:44am PDT

  Well I'm somewhat going through the same thing.

  Theres this boy I know, we dated for about a year.

  After we broke up, he bounced from girl-to-girl-to-girl-to-girl ect;

  and pretty much got into the whole casual sex thing.

  But then we got back together & he always stayed loyal.

  so I mean, I guess people can change but if your dating a womanizer,

  I belive those thoughts are always going to be in the back of your mind.

  If you get what Im saying. Aha. (:

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  Posted by Garrett Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:36am PDT

  People can always change, its just about finding that right person. If someone who is a womanizer find the right girl like i did, theyll nvr wana cheat or break up. ever.

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  Posted by Bethany P Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:30am PDT

  Five years ago I began a relationship with a guy I knew in high school but hadn't seen in many years. He was very nerdy in school but became a player since then. It didn't end well (he likes old girlfriends to say how wonderful he is, and I just couldn't), but this year was reunion time and we saw each other again. We managed that like grownups, but I learned the most important lesson: Listen to what he says but watch what he does. Action shows everything.

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  Posted by Joan Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:45am PDT

  im into a relationship with a womanizer now,he is dating lots of girls in his place and friends online,but,when he wanted a serious relationship with me he indeed take me seriously.he said he's done with all those girls,he wants more than sex,he wants true love,he is loving and gives me much of his time despite of his hectic schedule,although,at some point i sometimes feel jealous because girls are after him.

  he said he will not cheat once committed and i trust him on that.if he does,maybe,ill find my way home.

  at this moment,we have little issues about these girls after him.its upsetting sometime...but,he said he wanted me to be his wife.

  i just hope and pray for the best.i love him and i will take the risk of loving him.

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