Dating diaries: 6 more things guys worry about

I realized that I worry about far more things than I originally thought. So here are some more fears that guys have, continued from my previous list:

Is this the end? Is there something better out there?

As we get deeper and deeper into relationships, there are those checkpoints where we ask ourselves if we want to keep going. Will we forfeit our chance to meet someone better? Is this the last girl I'll ever fall in love with? Seems like depressing things to worry about if you re in a relationship, but do we really always end up with someone who is truly the best person we'll ever meet and that we are madly in love with?

Did I say something stupid?

If you've read my other blog entries, you've learned that I've said a lot of stupid things. When guys are talking to girls for the first time, they rely on some tried and tested things to talk about, along with a hybrid of topics that are based on what s going on around them at the time. However, guys wonder if a girl is just being friendly or if she s really into what he's saying. I'm an expert at blurting out stupid things.

Does she notice me staring?

I've worked very hard to undo my biological tendencies but sometimes I just can't help but stare. When I see boobs pushed up at the top of a shirt, or from a certain angle, I just stare sometimes, whether it's a stranger, friend, or romantic interest. I apologize to all women for my occasional lapses in control.

http://www.taylormarsh.com/archives_view.php?id=25934't look down!

Do I take her home, or ask for her number?

I hate trying to decide this. I 'e talked to a girl for a couple hours in a bar and I have to get her number, knowing she won't call me back. If I try to see if she wants to come back to my apartment to hang out and up the ante so she's compelled to call me after our meeting, she might just get angry. It's a lose-lose situation.

Is there a stallion ex out there?

So what if I finally meet the perfect girl? I'll feel comfortable trying all sorts of things with her, different positions, locations, etc. But what if none of this compares to the super stallion ex who needed custom made Magnum condoms to even begin to cover his penis and who tied her body into all sorts of amazing knots and who even tried (gulp) anal sex with her from time to time? What if his washboard abs flexed harder and harder every time she stroked them in bed? What if he defined sex for her and gave her orgasms at will? And what if she thinks about him when she masturbates, or is imagining him instead of me when we are having sex? I mean, most men think of women other than their significant others when they masturbate sometimes. Geeze, sometimes love is so un-romantic.

Does she think I m stalking her?

This one usually creeps up in the early stages just after meeting a girl. If I'm really into her I want to email her at work, talk to her on IM, and text her. But I practice restraint because I need to play it cool and not come off like I'm stalking her. I usually make contact with a girl I've just meant once. If she wants to see me, she'd call back right? Do girls make a guy call 2-3 times before she calls him back? Sorry, but I'm so ultra-sensitive to looking like a stalker that I'll only reach out once after our initial meeting. They say persistence pays , but there's a fine line between trying until you win someone over, and stalking them...right?

Whenever you get nervous just realize that we are worrying too. We want you to like us, and be happy with us.

You often read about my stupidity and cluelessness, but sometimes I want to try to help you while I'm asking for advice.

What are your thoughts on these things I've listed? And, do you think you'll feel more confident with guys if you can convince yourself that we worry as much as girls do in the dating world?

Posted by Rich

Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

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From the Community…

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Posted by ANDREA S Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:42am PDT

Rich, it's alright brother. Breathe, breathe. There's no need to be so freaked out. We're pretty alright with those little things. No need to drop 50 bucks on a haircut...

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Posted by Beth Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:25pm PDT

"Is this the end? Is there something better out there?"
We worry about that as well, we have to try to figure out if we can picture spending the rest of our lives with the guy or not. Not to mention we are more on a time crunch to decide these things hehe.
"Did I say something stupid?"
I worry about that constantly, but honestly if they can't giggle at the fact you said something silly then they aren't worth the time.
"Does she notice me staring?"
Yes we notice. That's always a tricky one because some people get more offended than others. I don't get offended by it, I know I have amazing cleavage ;)
"Do I take her home, or ask for her number?"
If you are asking her to go home with you, she will probably think you want to get down and dirty which has probably led to the unfullfilling sex that you've had in your past. I say if you aren't sure about asking for her number and not sure about taking her home, go with the option of asking if she wants to go get a cup of coffee or a piece of pie.
"Is there a stallion ex out there?"
There could be, but likely there isn't. If she feels comfortable enough, she should be able to tell you what she loves and what feels best. If she doesn't take that initiative, it's not your fault, you could always ask her in a naughty way what makes her hot and bothered. ;)
"Does she think I m stalking her?"
If she doesn't return your call after one attempt it's safe to say to do one more follow up call but anything after that will be a waste of your time. It's always hard to tell if you are being too clingy. If you think you might be, then back off a bit. A little restraint is certainly good and appreciated. Personally, I never understood those couples that just had to talk to eachother every minute of every day.

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Posted by Rita Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:09pm PDT

Wow...that's quite a list. But I agree with you on only calling once. If she's interested she will call back...okay, at least I'm like that.
And as far as the stallion ex thing...yes, there may have been one guy out there that really did it for her but whose to say you can't be another one that has that ability...just don't think about it too much. And most women create some divine and unreal situation in their head when they're alone...we can't really just think of a guy and get off. Sorry.

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Posted by Regina C Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:40pm PDT

Is it okay to continue to have sex with ones ex after the divorce?

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Posted by TG Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:52pm PDT

I am a guy and my problem is wondering if she is really interested in me or if I am just the between-boyfriends boyfriend. The woman cannot tell you because if it is the former she may scare a guy away, and if it's the latter it will "ruin her reputation."
Unfortuantely, I tend to fall in love and find out it it the latter. This has happened more often than not.

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Posted by Shopaholic Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:48pm PDT

I have that problem with the stalking part of things...being a girl though it's a little different dynamic. I want to talk everyday and usually I'm the first to initiate conversation, I don't give myself the time to let him do it. It's bad :(

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Posted by nadia_mcdaniel Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:22pm PDT

I just want to know how do you know if a guy is really into you or if he's just in to your Goodies? You can hold long and good conversations but just not sure what's really on his mind. Is he just trying to get what he wants by making you feel comfortable around him? Let a sista know what's really going on, please!

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Posted by mialove_2005 Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:30pm PDT

HI RICH AS FAR AS GUYS BEING A STALKER I REALLY DONT THINK LIKE THAT CAUSE IF I DIDNT FIND YOU INSTRESTING I WOULDNT OF GIVEN MY NUMBER OUT. BUT I REALLY ENJOY THE GUY INITIATING EVERYTHING BUT SOMETIMES THEY TAKE TO LONG SO I INITIATE THE CONVERSATION.

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Posted by at peace Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:32am PDT

Ww lots of stuff, how about just being YOU

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Posted by Nicole B Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:32am PDT

You're adorable. I just want to hug you and say "Everything will be ok." I promise. :)

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