Dating diaries: Can you beat these two horrible date stories?

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  Posted by Eve, Evie, Evita, Evis Sun May 4, 2008 10:50pm PDT

  I've gone out with guys who showed up hungover and spent the whole night in the can, guys who've paid with gift certificates on a first date (CLASS), as well as guys who bragged that their strategy to combat a bad date was to get drunk ... who then proceeded to get drunk and demand I go home with them, slamming a cab door in my face when I shouted, "no!". The kicker, though, was a guy who decided to get revenge after I told him one date was enough. Ready for this? It's a doozy. He faked his own death via an email from his "twin brother" stating that he'd died in a helicopter accident helping tsunami victims in Thailand. Then, after a year of my feeling terrible and guilty about it, the "dead" dude sent me a myspace friend request. When I said, "What the f--- ?" he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. I think it was my ex trying to get revenge!" Yeah. His ex, who'd never met me, who couldn't possibly have had my email address, and who, if anything, would probably have sent out a mass email instead of single mails to random strangers. Talk about a fragile male ego - that a girl would DARE say "I'd rather not see you again" after one date. Obviously, she must pay.

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  Posted by TC Mon May 5, 2008 8:10am PDT

  He worked nights and I worked days - so it was hard to get together but finally he had a night off and I said dinner for me/breakfast I guess for him would be great. He was to show up at 8pm (which is kind late during the week for me to have dinner BUT..) SO about 7:45 I call to make sure he has directions and no answer - 8:20 he calls to say he's running late...YOU THINK!! He gets to my house at 9pm after being rude on the phone asking if he should just turn around and go home. We decide that I will drive since it's a first date I usually drive us or meet somewhere - don't like riding in other peoples cars. We get to restaurant - order our drinks and OHH NOO he says...I left my wallet in my car at your house. After a few minutes I say no worries - I'll pay. He is releived and has cash in his car he will pay me back when we get back to the house. Dinner was dinner - he kept watching the hockey game over my head although he swore he didn't like hockey - the conversation wasn't that great and I'd already pretty much decided no second date. We leave and we're on the way BACK to the house and he then says...you looked very nice tonight...bet you look even better out of those clothes. WTF?? Seriously?? Nothing in our dinner would have given any indication that that was where we were headed - wasn't even flirting with him since i knew second date was out of the question. We then get back to my house - he runs to his car and grabs his wallet and hands me $10. I stare at it and ask umm what is this?? It's for dinner...his portion of it anyway. I say OHH okay then - dinner was $30 - he reaches back in and grabs a few $1's and hands them to me. I give a quick hug - tell him to have a great evening....he stands there looking at me and has the nerve to say "is that all?" UM YES... - have a great evening.

  He's since sent me raunchy text messages - to which I replied that I had a new bf - Just got another one this weekend so not sure how to handle. WEIRDO!! thanks yahoo personals :)

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  Posted by Maria Mon May 5, 2008 8:25am PDT

  I don't know about topping those two stories, but I've got one thats deffinitely pretty bad. I met this guy while out with a couple of friends. He was really cute in a country sort of way, so I accepted when he asked if I would go out with him the following evening. He showed up wearing horrible oversized snake skin boots, a belt with a huge enameled American flag buckle, and a ten gallon hat...obviously his idea of dressing up. I decided to let this go and just ordered a martini, which he made me pay for. I don't really have a problem paying my own way on a date, but being hit up for five bucks when your date has

  spent all his money on beer after beer is too much. What made it worse was that this guy could not hold his alchohol.... when I refused him the five dollars, he began dry humping me in front of everyone saying he would "pay me back" *wink*.....needless to say, I hightailed it out of there.

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  Posted by juliesc Mon May 5, 2008 9:19am PDT

  I met a guy from an online personals site for a drink. As we exchanged pleasantries and looked over the wine list, I was surprised that he had a violent twitch -- like Tourette's syndrome, but without the profanity -- his whole face would contort and he sort of lurched toward me, hissing, mid-sentence. I pretended not to notice and continued making conversation, although it was really awkward trying not to jump every time he convulsed.

  After several minutes of this, he burst out laughing so hard he was laying on the table! It had all been a joke, an ice-breaker, just a little 'sample' of his sense of humor. He was actually really easy to talk to (once he stopped thrashing about) but I didn't see him again -- what kind of person does that?!?

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  Posted by RitaF Mon May 5, 2008 9:31am PDT

  Wow...the second one is REALLY bad!

  I went on a semi-blind date with this guy. It was supposed to be a movie and dinner (he wanted to meet me at my house but I guess I'm just paranoid because I never give out my address for a first date) so I meet him at the movie theater, he immediately starts to get creepy. I paid for my own ticket (which I really don't mind doing too much). So after some talking to this guy, I realize I'm really not that into him and this is not going to lead to anything. I'm sitting probably as far away from this guy as I can get without moving to the next seat over. He apparently noticed and asks "are you cold?" After I tell him I'm not he decides that it's an invitation to hold my hand?! I immediately pulled it away. He continued to try to touch me in one way or another through the entire date. After the movie I told him that it was actually getting late and I had to be going. I also told him that I would be moving and would not have access to the internet. He continued to call me and text message me continuously for the next three months!

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  Posted by Megan Mon May 5, 2008 9:44am PDT

  The first date I went on after my divorce made me re-think the dating scene entirely. All through dinner he kept pointing out his flaws (in a sad attempt at self-depreciating humor...which was more sad than humorous). We went for a beer after dinner, at which point he started contradicting things he had said earlier, charming. The kicker was as he was walking me back to my car he blurts out, "Opps! I just farted. Haha." Needless to say, I told him I wasn't ready to date yet and never returned his calls.

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  Posted by C Mon May 5, 2008 12:43pm PDT

  Oh boy. I have one, then another from a family friend...

  Mine? After waiting for two hours (I was 19 and feeling rather forgiving I guess), I decided I'd been stood up. Whatevs. Take off to my galpals' pool party; get a panicked call from my younger sister who informs me that "Psycho trip" called and is coming over and is cheesed that I'm not answering the phone - where was this call when you were running two hours late? Run home to head of PT before he finds my sister home alone. Intercept. No excuses, and "you choose where we're going because I'm broke" (Uh...) No dice, tell him to bugger off. He proceeds to follow me (and sister, since I decided I was NOT leaving her home alone) back to the pool party and invite himself in. His bad, he made an arse of himself and proceeded to get his name on about 18 young ladies "do not date this shmo ever" lists.

  A family friend - let's see....she was in the wedding party for both my sister's and

  She was stood up by her (then) boyfriend via voice mail at my sister's wedding...because someone had concert tickets.

  At my wedding she was "single" so brought a friend. Who showed up to the reception two hours late, drunk, and who proceeded to hang all over my husband's cousin instead of oh, I don't know, actually acknowledging his date?

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  Posted by Inky Mon May 5, 2008 4:02pm PDT

  While at a college "clubs on campus" event, a guy latched onto me. I wasn't really interested, but I didn't know anyone, so I was nice to him. He followed me around like your proverbial puppy dog for the next couple hours I was there, hardly letting me go to the restroom without waiting outside the door for me. (Used to girls running out on him maybe?) After the event, we headed to a bar near campus. On the way there, his car "vapor locked" and we were stranded on the side of the highway. (This was before cell phones were a big deal, so neither of us had one.) He actually pulled the, "well, since we're stranded, you know what we should do..." line. I told him if he touched me, I would scream rape and clobber him. Amazingly, his car started right after I said that. We made it to the bar, and I ordered a beer, determined not to get drunk in his presence. He proceeded to try to buy me shots because I needed to "loosen up." I declined the shots, so he drank them. As he got more drunk, he started pawing at me. At one point, he got a bit too aggressive, holding me up to the wall by my throat, and fumbling with the belt on my jeans. I finally kicked him square between the legs, and he let go of me. He let loose with a very unique tapestry of curses that would have made a sailor blush. I walked home from there.

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  Posted by Julie Mon May 26, 2008 7:33pm PDT

  I once went to this really nice guy's house for a movie night that he had put together just for us. i had just broken up with my boyfriend, and was feeling kind of down, so i said sure and went, hoping to get cheered up. he had rented all these romantic movies and on the very 1st movie, i realized i had seen it with my ex, who i still thought i loved. i sat through it, totally depressed,but i tried to act like i was ok. until i suddenly, out of the blue, during the movie, remeberd my ex kissing me during tht exact same part, and i burst into tears. i was totally sobbing, and it wasn't even a sad part. he tried to comfort me, but i was nearly hysterical and i had snot all over myself. worst moment of my life.

  another time, i was on a date, and my purse spilled a whole bunch of stuff. my date leaned down to help me clean up, and ended up passing me some tampons, while i turned bright red.

  I went a date with this guy, and he was just so annoying because he was nervous and telling these stupid jokes. at one point, he laughed so hard at his own joke, he farted. so when we were about to leave the restaurant, i told him i had to use the bathroom. i then called my best friend on my phone and told her how weird my date was, and i was laughing really hard as i told her about the whole date. then i walked out of the bathroom and found him hanging right outside the bathroom, waiting for me, and was bright red. he had heard the whole conversation. the drive back to my house was possibly the most awkward situation i've ever been in.

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  Posted by MomNMiss Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:16pm PDT

  I went out on a date with a guy I had been chatting with online for a few months, we thought we would actually meet in person. He had asked if he could pick me up and I declined and explained that when I have a first date with someone, we would meet in public. That is my rule. He kinda got a little rude about it. However, we went ahead and met at local theater. I got there early, and he was running late, after calling me to ask where the theater was! He supposedly "knew" this town. Anyway, he showed up finally, barely missing the movie but we had a few minutes to talk before the movie started. We sat down in the lobby for a few minutes and during this whole time, he did nothing but bragged about himself the whole time. Talked more about all of his accomplishments, what he's done with his life (blah blah blah) and did NOT ask me one question about me. I wanted to leave but went ahead and watched the movie anyways. After the movie, he continued to brag more about himself and finally I had the nerve to tell him I had to go home and get up early the next morning. I thanked him for meeting, and even sent him an IM after I got in, thanking him nicely, however, he never replied back, which was fine with me. I thought he was rude, inconsiderate, negative and that was a turn off for me. I knew after listening for 30 mins of himself non-stop talking, there wasn't going to be 2nd date.

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