Dating Diaries: Ten Dating Red Flags

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  Posted by debra Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:22pm PDT

  A Lesson Learned: Don't let someone be a priority in your life, when you are only an option in theirs.

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  Posted by cooler king Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:42pm PDT

  First off, most of these points are right on the money.

  I have to disagree about the example for #5: the forbid to be around certain friends part.

  I ended up divorced, because her "freind" ended up talking her into being part of a "group" without me.

  At the same time, this person was telling me; "That he could "help" in my relationship with her.". What BS.

  The only thing he was doing was helping himself to her.

  Blutri, this is a true story.

  If you dimiss your "bf's" opinion about someone.

  Do not be surprised; when you realize too late, that the other person may have a valid point.

  "Friends" can do some really F$%#ed up things, too.

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  Posted by Tropicalchica Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:45pm PDT

  I should have noticed these red flags earlier, but I think I tossed them off because he was mentally ill. Now that our relationship is over, it seems to make sense and I've wondered how I could have been so blind. He never wanted to meet my family, make sacrifices, and was always lying (not cheating) about little things at first then bigger lies.

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  Posted by Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:49pm PDT

  Be sure if you are involved with a military soldier to really find out what his or her first love really is...you or Uncle Sam...Once you are in the military, you are married to it and you don't have a say in anything. My ex-husband and I went through a 22 month deployment together, and he promised never to re-enlist after the whole nightmare was over, but did when he got home from Iraq. Deployments can ruin a marriage and/or relationship, so be very careful when considering getting involved with a military man or woman.

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  Posted by truth Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:51pm PDT

  Loads of nonsense. Relationships are about building a team. You must have above all great communication. A team strives for a common goal and must become one to achieve its purpose. You must stop seeing things as my way and see it as our way. Yes ladies! Us is plural. Dudes hear your woman out her input should be considered also. Great communication means be as open and as truthful to your teammate no matter what. Keywords Team and communication. Try it then give your input.

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  Posted by HAPPY GRANDMOMMY Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:46am PDT

  I do agree with some of the warning signs, but If you cannot communicate with your significate other then move on....

  Another thing, your married family members are most likely unhappy and wish they were single. They are the ones that you should not take advice from -- Stay single and enjoy the moments that you spend together with your boy friend or girlfriend and do not dwell on stuff. Men hate it!!! I am a women and I learned allot from marriage and that is why -- I enjoy the good times as a single person. Stop analying your relationship. As I said before if you have those seven signs "GET OUT and stop making yourself miserable..........Get a Dog...unconditional love -- a little Chi can make a difference. The more I love my dog -- the less I need a Man

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  Posted by J.D. Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:25am PDT

  I would add, keeping secrets. You don't really have to tell the person you're with where you're going or what you're doing all of the time and they don't have to tell you either. However, if the question is asked and you/they just dodge aroud the question, then we as humans have no choice but to create our own ideas of what's going on. That information should be willingly offered WITHOUT hesitation. My ex would spend hours upon hours at one of the downstairs apartments we used to live in and I'd ask where he was going and when he'd be back. His response was, "Downstairs, later". That's all he'd say, come to find out some time later and a bit of investigating on my part, he was smoking and buying Crack.

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  Posted by Dana Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:33am PDT

  wow - lot of bitter roots here but a lot of points are valid, too. A relationship is about companionship when all is said and done and this article goes towards either gender. What it boils down to is how much time/space/energy is this person willing to put into the relationship. And if you're the one doing all of the above, with no input from the other, then it IS better to be alone. And sometimes you need to step back and figure out who you are before taking that relationship step again

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  Posted by BrendaU Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:45am PDT

  I would add to this section, "Is the person you are considering, at least, financially self supporting?" If not, do you care enough about this person to be the financial provider in the relationship? Once in a while a person might truly be in between jobs and that's understandable, but only for a brief period. Don't hold out too long in hopes that a person will get a job if they've been without one for a long period of time and has no shame of borrowing money from others or letting others foot the bill.

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  Posted by greeneydspyder Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:52am PDT

  Wow, so many comments and so many GOOD things for people to listen to. Personal expierience aside, I think I would add communication is key, and also get to know the person alot better before jumping. There is no cut in stone dateing requirements, and one thing we all have is time, before you make any commitment, make sure you know the person. Ask questions..pertinant ones. The find out factor is always best.....most importantly listen to your gut...if its uneasy and you jump, pepto bismol cant help you then.

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