Do or don't: Eloping and having a virtual wedding

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  Posted by Jamie Murphy Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:51am PDT

  My husband and I eloped and three years later there are still people who don't even know we're married. Doesn't matter a bit. The marriage is between us and we like the fact that we spent under 100 on the whole thing, including license. I have less than five pictures of the entire deal, since it lasted under ten minutes. We decided it was time on a Monday afternoon, and went downtown (luckily for us we lived in Reno, and it can be done very quickly and easily there) on Tuesday morning. We took ourselves out to lunch afterward, and that was all there was to it. I went to the fabric store and bought a yard of tulle for my hair, told the salesgirl "I am getting married in an hour" Other than the two of us, she is the only person who knew ahead of time that it was happening. We've been together for ten years altogether and so when we got married, nothing really changed but the legal status, and my name. We are united, that's what counts. It's not the stuff, or the outfits, or the expense, or the heaps of gifts, or any other "thing" that makes a marriage. It's the partners. People should do what works for them, without fear of other people's judgment. If somebody else wants to blow twenty grand on a cinderella day, that's their choice. just not my choice. and god bless america, we all get to make our own choices on this.

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  Posted by Maisha Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:56am PDT

  I agree with many of the other posters. Either the ceremony is private or it's not. The blogging and twittering are rather insulting.

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  Posted by Wildfawn Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:58am PDT

  I think weddings are as individual as the people and there is no right/wrong way to do it. My husband and I first eloped, planning to have a wedding later. We finally gave up on the plans and just notified everyone that the big event had already happened.

  You hear about weird weddings held in the Antartica or underwater in a swimming pool, and this one seems to me not even to be on the same level of weirdness. Weddings are so expensive for everyone involved--wasted money and time in my opinion, and this way they could share with family without requiring people to spend an arm and a leg to join in. Good solution to the problem.

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  Posted by anonymous234234234234 Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:15am PDT

  Excellent Idea. I want to do that if I ever get married.

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  Posted by Flutesinger Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:18am PDT

  I think that if you toss around such an important moment in your life, you are also tossing around what comes after that. Marriage is symbolic is any society, but when two people just decide on marriage at the last minute and get together because they feel like it at that time, but don't hold any respect for the marriage and that may create problems later in the marriage itself. How much do you care for the other person? Enough to make that day special? Since they are blogging for family and friends, that shows that they still want involvement-why not make it a really special day. It's kind of a slap in the families' faces besides, you know. I still hold to the fact that the choice of marriage ceremony, choice of whatever goes on that day is a reflection of a glimpse into their future marriage together.

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  Posted by RED Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:18am PDT

  My fiance and I want to fly to vegas, get hitched in a private ceremony (us, my bestest friend, his best man, and possibly our parents), spend a week and come home, settle in and then have a reception/party for all of our friends and extended family to celebrate! I think it'll be great! I'm so excited! We've decided not to formerly broadcast a "reception" as our friends might feel obligated to bring gifts. We're just going to have a big ol party to (as I said before) celebrate our union with the people we care about. That's really all its about. The gifts are insubstantial and well, lets face it the real gift is being together.

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  Posted by V Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:29am PDT

  Our wedding was great, our 2 kids and 4 friends. The wedding was virtual, we were married in city hall via webcast. It was hysterical and since I am not at all conventional, we invitied everyone to get on line and watch the wedding. You could even watch it at your desk from work. I do believe in falling in love, getting married, having kids and growing old together, BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER!!!!!

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  Posted by Dabney Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:51am PDT

  Have any of you read the site or even Erin's comments? They are not live blogging the wedding. They have decided on a meaningful path for them and they are making their commitment to each other. If they happen to post some entries on their experience - who are you to judge?

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  Posted by Allison Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:32pm PDT

  They are NOT having a "virtual wedding." They're just two online writers who are getting married and writing about it online.

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  Posted by The Mzis Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:10pm PDT

  I love that..actually my husband & I did that also & it was a wonderful experience & in 5 yrs. we will have a church wedding with all the bells whistles for everyone else to enjoy this was just for us & it felt Great!

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