Do you want explicit details from your partner explaining WHY they’re breaking up with you?

I just saw watched a segment from The View where the ladies were talking about couples breaking up that really caught my attention. See the supporting links section for a hyperlink to this video segment.

So the basic question in point is, when your partner is ending a relationship with you, do you really want explicit details explaining WHY they’re breaking up with you? Or, are you simply satisfied with a blunt announcement that it’s over?

In this particular episode, Joy Behar says that she’d actually be happy with just a text message instead of doing it face to face because the text message option relieves her of having to hear her guy tell her things that are wrong with her. This really caught my attention because even though some people can be rather sadistic or abusive with their criticism, if you strip the malicious tone from it, then you might actually find some useful information or truths that might help you to evolve well enough to experience a happier, more loving, and long-lasting relationship next time.

I don’t know Joy Behar very well as I’m new to watching The View, but the very first thought that came to mind after hearing her say that was, wow, this woman must really be stuck in an emotionally traumatic rut! I’ve known for a long time that many people have a very hard time looking inward because they either don’t like what they see when they do, or they’re absolutely terrified of what they might find. But when you deny yourself the gift of doing so, then you’re enabling stagnation in your life that only becomes more painful as you grow older.

Anywho,,,, then Whoopi Goldberg brings up a really good point where she says, “I would rather do it face to face so that the next time I see you, I’m not ducking you.” I’ve seen this fearful and cowardly ducking thing many times and that’s just not how I’d care to live my life. I can only imagine how mentally and emotionally straining it must be trying to maintain some kind of conscious ex-partner alertness that’s constantly scanning the world around to see if their ex is there.

Another thing that bothers me about this cowardly ducking behavior is that it has the strong potential to teach young minds that this is the right way end an unhappy relationship. There are some harsh realities that influence some people’s cowardly or avoidant nature, but this nature has evolved authentically of them. Children, however, can unconsciously learn to mirror or mimic this dysfunctional behavior without realizing its potential to provoke unnecessary or continued subsequent drama.

Here’s an unfortunate possibility with abandonment that can devastate many unsuspecting people. The abandoned partner rarely accepts abandonment lying down and usually seeks out an explanation. This often results in the abandoner responding with slander and nonsensical distortions that are meant to justify their behavior and place full blame and responsibility onto the abandoned partner for the breakup of their relationship. The problem with this is that many abandoned partners are often so shocked or hurt that they might actually believe the slander and distortions that they’re bombarded with.

Hint, Hint, it’s a good idea to learn how to identify manipulators before they’re able to hurt you!

Anywho, I feel that if someone wants to break up with their partner, then the best course of action is to face them directly, at an appropriate time and place, and with a mature, honest, forthcoming, and respectful manor. Granted, it might very well be dramatic at the time, but I think it’s a much better way for people to move forward in their lives with much less subsequent dysfunction.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn