Love + Sex

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  Posted by rosemaryezell3 Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:06pm PDT

  the problem is not the person or the child, the problem iz the ex. they want everyone to be miserable becuz they are. and its not like that in every situation but in some, so thats y ppl dont want to deal with the baggage of a ex, cuz its mostly their fault. lol

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  Posted by kenna0609 Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:09pm PDT

  I feel the same way that you do. I also have a daughter and she is my whole world. In the dating scene, I have found that it doesn't bother me if a guy has a child. I can accept his child as part of the package deal and I would want the same from him. However, for me, this is not the case. It seems that most guys want you to accept their child, however, the do not accept the fact that I have one that I am raising totally by myself. I always tell the guy about her, and I let him know that she comes first, and that I am not looking for someone to be her father. (Although her own father has not seen or asked to see her in a year! She's almost 2). Im looking for someone who wants to be with me and that can see that she is just a wonderful part of the package. I actually had one stupid guy tell me that he "would never consider dating anyone who has a child". But he had one child of his own! So tell me how this makes sense?

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  Posted by moparmama11 Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:23pm PDT

  I was a single mom when I met my housband of 8 years now he was a single dad he is the best stepdad. I sometimes wonder about myself im not so sure im a good stepmom but I try my best I do love my stepson

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  Posted by OnlyByFaith Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:04pm PDT

  I'm a single mom of beautiful lil girl and really great son who has a heart of gold. I did get burned in my last relationship (pretty bad-as I'm sure others can relate). I get along with my ex now and truly wish him well and he would be happy to see me with date- but I find myself very picky on who I'll let into my life and have yet to date after 2 yrs. I'm looking for a man who will see my children as a blessing ( I would his-if he had any). At this rate it may be another 2 yrs (haha).

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  Posted by Lovestolaugh Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:18pm PDT

  I am a single mom too. I have 2 kids and I was with my children's father longer than some people are married -- 6 years. I have found more that men take advantage of single mom's. For example, I have a set schedule and it is hard sometimes to get someone to watch my kids. I don't have much drama from their father if any at all. I am looking for someone but I know the most important thing for me right now is to raise my babies. I love being a mom despite how hard it is sometimes. I almost feel like my kids saved me because my life is nothing but better with them in it. I will still continue to look for love but they definitely have to love my kids too.

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  Posted by Paula S Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:33pm PDT

  LADIES I AM ALSO A SINGLE MOM OF 4. AND EVENTUALY ALL 3 OF MY DATES HAS TURNED THEM OFF. ALL WHATS IMPORTANT TO THIS MEN IS SEX. THEY ACTED TO ME AS IF MY CHILDREN WOULDN'T MATTER TO THEM. BUT EVENTUALLY THEY ALL END UP GONE. AND I DONT REALY CARE MY CHILDREN ARE FIRST.

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  Posted by LIL C Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:19pm PDT

  Honestly, it probably does. I am also a newly divorced single parent. An old friend of mine (who became more than a friend in highshchool) showed me that. When he found out I was married and divorced that was okay, but when he found out I had a child-his whole demeanor changed. I have another friend who embraces the fact that I have a child...I honestly think those types of men who dont accept that women are single parents are just mad that someone else made it there before they did!!!

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  Posted by rlw010274 Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:01pm PDT

  I agree! I'm a single mom of a almost 6yr. old boy. He is my world! But ladies beware! I was at a point in my life that I really was finished with the dating scene. That was alomost 2 yrs. ago. Until a man kept asking me for a date. This happened for 6mo. Until I finally agreed. He really wasn't my type, but I gave it a chance. He was single, stable, never married, and NO kids! We chatted for a few days, he convinced me that children were not a problem. And I went for it. We were together for a year and a half, my son got the sence of a family with him, called him dad, which he liked, said he was madly in love, and out of the blue, decided he had enough, and ran. My son devistated and confused. And I'm left heart broken. Again. I should of stayed in that frame of mind a yr. ago. Single and happy. I now have a great friend that has a 10yr. old son, he's a single dad, and I've found that we do have alot more in common as single parents. It does make a huge difference.

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  Posted by udrewme2u Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:18am PDT

  I am a single dad to my 14 year old daughter. I can tell you, some of what I see people writing is true. The ex can and usually does play a negative role in any attempt at a normal life in the world of post divorce relationships. But, only for so long. There comes a time, whether the ex gets involved in another relationship and (hopefully) remarries (as mine did) or simply runs out of gas trying to interfere (sometimes on a day-to-day basis) with your current plans. The real deanger can lie with your present (or next) partner. For instance, I became involved with a woman who knew I had a daughter and we eventually lived together and even became engaged. Yes, I really believed I would marry once again. Why not? Everything seemed okay. We were compatible in what seemed like all the important ways: relatively the same intelligence level and moral values; physically and sexually mutually excited; even playing field with regard to religion, world outlook, aspirations etc. You get the picture, all seemed to be fine so why not remarry? I should tell you, she was single and never married and not only did not have any children but never wanted any. "Hmmm..." you say? "What's that?" Yes. She was completely honest about her feelings about children right from the beginning as was I about being a father. I can still hear you..."Hmmm..." your saying. Well, yeah. That's right. This is what became the ISSUE. She never thought for even a second that I would get custody of my daughter. You see, when we first started to date, my daughter lived with her mother, who, as time revealed, could not live up to the responsibilities of parenthood and I was awarded custody. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. But not right away, either. In fact not until we all lived together for a few years. We even bought a house together (engaged but not married yet) all living under one roof. Listen up. One night I get a call at work. They're fighting. Nothing unusual. You see, my daughter can be a handfull. I couldn't resolve their issues while at work so I told them to work it out (for a change). This was the beginning of the end. My fiance, the one who is supposed to love my daughter as an extension of me, moved out. But not before a lot of ugly emotionally drawn-out events took place. She actually believed she was right. She is convinced my daughter ruined our relationship. She even believed I should never put my daughter before any relationship I may have. She says things like: "Eventually your kid will move out and we will be together for the rest of your life. Do you really want to jeapordize your (or our) happiness for the sake of your daughter?" She goes on and on telling me how everyone she knows supports this same belief and that I must be crazy to put my daughter first. Over the next few months I've tried to keep somewhat of a connection between us thinking about how she can't be around children and someday my daughter will grow up and move out, but I realize one thing. I love kids. I wouldn't ever be opposed to dating someone who has kids. So why would I want someone who can't respect my daughter in the same way?? Beware of who you get involved with is the moral of this story.

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  Posted by HersheyKiss Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:32am PDT

  HONESTLY I THINK PEOPLE DO GET SCARED AWAY WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE CHILDREN. I THINK PEOPLE DONT WANNA DEAL WITH THE BABY MAMA DRAMA OR THE CRAZY MAN THAT STILL GOT A HOLD ON YOUR LIFE. ME PERSONALLY, I DONT THINK THERE ARE MANY MEN MY AGE THAT DONT HAVE CHILDERN. I HAVE 4 CHILDREN THAT COME FIRST ALL THE TIME, BEFORE ANY MAN EVEN BEFORE ME. EVEN THOUGH IM NOT REALLY DATING RIGHT NOW, I KNOW I HAVE TO BE OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT HE MAY HAVE CHILDERN.

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