Love + Sex

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Does "pleasure mapping" sound fun to you?

Getty Images

Getty Images


This is the game: blindfold your lover. Then, take your time and move from the top of the head down to the bottom of their feet, and do just about anything you can think of to every part that strikes your fancy. Your partner's job is to let you know exactly how good it feels, on a scale from zero to three. It is called "pleasure mapping;" it involves a ratings system, it comes from a book called Erotic Passions and all of it is odd and hilarious. But it also involves a blindfold (whee!) and a couple of hours of someone dedicatedly exploring your naked body, and that's an idea I can so completely get behind.

Have you stopped saying yes to sex? Here's how to recapture that can't-wait-to-do-it feeling.

You're lying there naked and incredibly vulnerable, blind and giving yourself up entirely to touch, and you cannot worry at all about what you look like or how you're presenting yourself or what your partner is thinking about your naked self. You're giving it all up to sensation; you've got a very important job to do, your partner has a very important job to which, I think, they will want to dedicate themselves to entirely so as to perform respectably and post all threes on the scoreboard, and there is no time to think about your thighs or your expression when they hit exactly the right spot. (Did you know you can train your brain to be more attuned to arousal?)

There is no time for thinking about what your breasts look like in any position when you've got your lover lying back and you're concentrating on making them feel good, on eliciting as many gasps and as high a final score as you can possibly get. Sex is, finally, about bodies, and we've got so much ----- wrapped up in our perception of our bodies and how they appear to us and to other people, and we forget that sex is about sensation and pleasure and that, finally, is what we're built for, whatever size and shape we are. Make your body a science experiment--considering not what it looks like or even what it feels like, but how you can feel, and exactly how good that can be.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 25
  • KAY KAY's Avatar
    Posted by KAY KAY Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:40am PDT

    THATS WHATS UP.THIS IS YOUR GIRL ERICA

    WHATS CRACKEN

    Report Abuse
  • quan's Avatar
    Posted by quan Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:50am PDT

    i like that freaky s--- im all for it

    Report Abuse
  • KAY KAY's Avatar
    Posted by KAY KAY Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:47am PDT

    WHATS HAPPEN

    Report Abuse
  • KAY KAY's Avatar
    Posted by KAY KAY Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:47am PDT

    WHATS HAPPEN

    Report Abuse
  • KAY KAY's Avatar
    Posted by KAY KAY Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:47am PDT

    WHATS HAPPEN

    Report Abuse
  • KAY KAY's Avatar
    Posted by KAY KAY Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:47am PDT

    WHATS HAPPEN

    Report Abuse
  • SmartClassyBlonde's Avatar
    Posted by SmartClassyBlonde Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:09am PDT

    I love when a partner can take that much time with me. Not only is it a time of exploration, it is a good step to a closer relationship. Just because you know all the right buttons, doesn't mean that is where you have to start every time!

    Report Abuse
  • Whew's Avatar
    Posted by Whew Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:25am PDT

    I think I will suggest my partner and I try this this weekend!!

    Report Abuse
  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:25am PDT

    I'm not really into the idea of being blindfolded. Just not my thing.

    Report Abuse
  • Carolina B's Avatar
    Posted by Carolina B Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:41pm PDT

    That's great....when you blindfolded you can imagine that super, sexy man touching and kissing your body :))))))))))

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 25

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