Dysfunctional and Abusive Wives and their proverbial Doghouses.

A friend recently responded to one of my blog topics about Valentines Day with the following question:

But why is it that it seems to be a day for the MAN to screw up? When was the last time you heard of a woman being in the dog house for not getting her man anything? That's right it doesn’t happen!

I very much enjoy topics on love and relationships and I hope you’ll enjoy my content that follows. Please feel free to express your thoughts after you’ve read this through.

I don’t believe in the proverbial “Dog House” nonsense that exists between (some) couples because I think it clearly demonstrates just how toxic and dysfunctional a couple’s relationship really is. But even more amazing is that many people in such relationships seem to demonstrate a level of ignorance suggesting that they’re completely unaware of just how incompatible they are together, and/or how abusive their relationship really is.

There’s a damn good reason why men cannot exercise the proverbial Doghouse routine from time to time while being married to “b---- Woman”. First, the guy is a complete pushover, and, his wife is a narcissistic control freak who’s completely running the relationship.

My usage of the expression “b---- Woman” comes from one of the books I’ve read by Dr. Barbara De Angelis, but for the context of this particular post, “b---- Woman” can just as well be “b---- Man” because (some) men also practice this kind of abuse on their wives. The concept of a “Controlling and Abusive Spouse” is by no means specific to either gender.

But I feel so compelled to address something here. I’ve seen many times where what I’m saying here has left a guy being called a misogynist, or as some popular backstreet terms go, a “Hater”. Why, because he called the kettle a metal head? I believe there’s a HUGE difference between someone possessing strong character and personality versus being “b---- Woman/Man”, but some people’s behavior absolutely crosses the lines here. To further add insult to injury here, I think anyone who denies this is “Suspect” to say the least.

Relationships like this are completely one-sided and the controlling partner regularly exerts some kind of emotional and/or physical abuse on the other partner. Personally, I don’t feel that abusive people like this deserve to be in a relationship in the first place, but then again, anyone who’d make a conscious choice to marry an abusive individual could stand to undergo some major evolution in their lives as well. After the divorce is all finalized, many people eventually come to find that these kinds of toxic and dysfunctional relationships are hard lessons learned while other’s never take a break and analyze their past, only to move forward perpetuating the same toxic cycles from one relationship to the next.

But what’s the real tragedy here? THEIR CHILDREN (if they have them), because they’re likely going to grow up thinking that it’s “okay” to abuse their partners because that’s what they’ve learned that love and relationships are supposed to look like. They think “Dysfunctional and Abusive Relationship” equals “Love” and so they grow up perpetuating these toxic cycles.

I’m a firm believer that couples shouldn’t go to bed mad at each other, even if an argument or issue hasn’t been fully resolved yet. And here’s something that some people might completely disagree with; if you regularly go to bed mad at your partner (or exhibiting notions of hostile negative energy), then I believe that you’re demonstrating behavior that inadvertently suggests that you’re NOT truly “committed” to your partner. But I’ll post my archived views on “Commitment” in another post later.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn