Ex-Girlfriend who broke it off says she has moved on, but has she really?

I met this girl back in the beginning of June. For the first month we only talked on the phone and text message each other due to prior summer engagements we both had and my work schedule. We finally saw each other again on the 4th of July. It was also our first kiss and the passion just flowed between us. We had truely fallin' for each other, and we made our feelings know a couple weeks later. She asked me not to hurt her and I promised to never hurt her. I had not felt this way about a girl for seven years and maybe even longer.

As the days past things were just getting better even though we saw each other every other week due to my work schedule. We really made a connection intellectually and it made our physical attraction even hotter. We have the same values and goals in life and just loved to be around the other.

However, I really messed up and ruined everythingat the end of August. Just before my birthday weekend she fell ill and ended up in the hospital for six days. I never went in to see at the hospital, but was in constant contact with her. You see up to this point I had never met her family or friends and was uncomfortable doing so under these circumtances. Also with your family there she never made me feel needed or wanted. I wanted to be there and should of been there regardless of what the circumtances.  I tried to go in on my birthday which was my first day off since she went in. She having a was a procedure done that day and I called and said let me know when you want me to come in to see her she said to wait. Later she told me she was so disgusted with me by that point she didn't want to see me.

We ignored the fact that I didn't go to her when she needed me for a couple weeks. Then she made the issue known. I told her I was sorry and that it would never happen again. But she was hurt and never thought I would do this to her. She needs somebody who will be there when she is healthy and when she is sick. And she was startiing to think I was not that person.

For the next two months I tried to go in and see her, but she was not sure about it. Finally I showed up at her place and she wasn't happy about that.  You see it was the first time I was there she always came to my house. She walked out to me never invited me in I had flowers for her she said they're beautiful reached up and kissed me and hugged then she started to walk back in and said she would talk to me later. The next day she textes me and asks me if I miss her and we talk on the phone for awhile.

But as days went on she was unsure what she wanted again. I asked if she wanted to end things and she said she doesn't know what she wants. She doesn't understand what happened and how things went from being better that perfect to this. A couple weeks went by and I sent her roses to her work. I recieved a text saying "this is not going to work" I responded with "your right I messed up it will be probaly be the best for both of us" and she text back with "so easy your going to let me walk away". As I was trying to figure out what to say she called wanting to know what is going on and what happened.  I told her I messed up and the more I try to repair things I keep screwing that up.  Later that day she sent me a photo of the roses and then I get a call from her after she got off work. She was crying she just found out her father totaled her car. When she couldn't get a hold of her mother she calls me.

Finally on three weeks ago she textes me asking if I am over the thought of her and I. I said I guess I have to be if that's how you feel she responded with "I asked how YOU felt". Well things got miscommunitcated through the test messaging and she got pissed. At the end of the day she blew up at me and let me have it on the phone. She told me how replused she was that I didn't show up when she needed me, but her brothers friends could. I agreed with every point she made and said there is no excuse for what I have done. The following Monday she textes me saying sorry for yelling at me on Friday and saying I wish things were not like this.

That Wendnesday I got an email that says I have not seen you in two months have not talked to you in days and you think that this is going to work. Also that I hurt her and said I would never hurt her and I LIED and hurt her. I am great amazing person but not the one for her she is moving on in her life and moving does not include me in it. She doesn't know what else to say or what more to do.

Well I stopped contacting her from that point on and never heard from her. I mailed her a handwritten letter last week to let know that I agree with her decision to split up and understand she had no other choice. I went on to apoligized for not being there and leaving her feeling vulnerable and with no sense of trust and for not being more commited has her boyfriend.

This week I found out through mutual friends that she change her Facebook status to in a relationship and when out mutual inquired if we got back together she responded not with him don't talk to him I have moved on with my life, I have every right to move on and I am happier to be honest. The next day I recieve an email that says she got my letter in the mail and thanks me for respecting her wishes with her moving on in her life. I did not respond to the email then the next day I recieve a text asking why wasn't I there when she needed me? She says I at least owe her an answer to that question. A question that I have already gave her the answer to. After a couple hours I responded with "we need to see each other and talk" she textes back "there is nothing to talk about".

I really want to win this girl back.  I understand that it will take time and patience for this to happen. To me it seems she is not over me either and jumped into another relationship to mask her feelings for me. If she has moved on in her life and is in a relationship why is she worried about what happen and why it happened. I wish she would just see me to finally sit down and talk about everything. She shut me out and thought her feelings would change about me.