Similar to the term BFF (Best Female Friend) Anna is my BPMF - my best preschool mom friend. Through city streets and up and down suburban hills, we chat about everything from our children, education, careers, bodies, finance, politics, religion and of course - our husbands.
I would like to put my male readers fears to rest and state that, "No, women most certainly do not share intimate details about sex!" But Anna and I aren't those particular women. Like a clumsy waiter at a Mexican taco joint, we always spill the beans.
If it's true that we're only as sick as our secrets, then why harbor our bedroom insecurities? It's validating to know that we are not alone in our worries over performance, libido or fantasies. And while we don't talk about positions and orifices (we have some semblance of discreetness) we do talk about wanting to spice stuff up (me) or wanting to get more of it (her.)
Throughout our banter (and often through gales of laughter) we give each other the truth that can only come from women that truly trust each other. "Andrea," she'll tell me, "Your husband is not being an anal retentive jerk if he doesn't want to go to a party. It's just not his thing. Look at his tenderness with you and the kids... his stable job... his obvious affection for you in every aspect of your relationship," she'll offer.
I'll console her equally, "Look, Anna, if you want more sex, it's not about losing your final 10 pounds. It's about getting to the bottom of his needs...so that you can see his bottom whenever you want to."
We each take each other's suggestions very seriously. I, for one, have started writing a gratitude journal for all the things Rex provides for me that I couldn't imagine getting from another man.
Anna decided to attack her cluttered home (a huge source of frustration for her husband) by hiring a closet company. When her hubby returns from a business trip, he'll not only find beautiful shelving, nooks and crannies for all his clothes and nick-nacks, but he'll also be walking onto fresh wood floors throughout the living, dining and hallway area.
While her suggestion to me cost nothing more than 99cents in a spiral notebook, my advice to her is costing about 6 grand. But considering that the first thing to hit the new floors will be her husband's clothes (despite having closets to hang them up in) I would call my six thousand dollar sex-life revamp "priceless".
Kind of makes me want to write a sex column.
Oh wait....
Happy Tuesday, people.
PS: I'd like my editors to know that it took great effort for me not to title this post about my friend's floors, "Wood and Hard Caulk - A Libido Infusion!" Do I get a bonus for restraint? I'd write a thank you in my 99cent gratitude journal. No? Okay, fine.
* Photo from Wikipedia.com. Nice caulk, huh? (Okay, I'm done.)
Posted by Andrea Frazer
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