This is a wonderful time of year because of the Men's NCAA
Basketball Tournament. My brackets that I filled out are absolutely
horrible, but watching all these games has been really
exciting.
Of course rebounding is a really important part of the game, and
it's interesting to see who comes up with the ball after it
careens off the rim and descends towards the mob. It occurred to me
how dangerous it is for a woman if she's on the rebound in the
dating world.
I'll admit, guys do say that if a girl is "on the
rebound," it might be easy to hook up with her. Rebounding occurs after someone has broken up,
or even if he/she is still in a relationship. People can be on the
rebound if they are being hurt, or if they've decided that the
relationship is about to end.
http://www.sweetspot.ca/national/blog_andrea_dana/7398/box_office_hits/
I react the other way to being released back into the dating world: I take a while to reflect and try not to get involved in anything for a while. Women do this as well-I'll hear from a girl's friend: "she's not looking for anything right now, she just got out of a long term relationship."
The other night I was sad to hear that a friend of mine had been hooking up with a lot of guys randomly. I met up with her in a bar and observed her scanning the crowd eagerly:
"What are you looking for," I asked.
"Guys," she answered.
I told her it was OK to go home alone once in a while, but she argued with me.
"Well, I'm young, I should take advantage of that and live my life to the fullest," she said.
After more arguing she got down to:
"Well, I'm just having fun, it doesn't mean anything."
Then I pushed her more to see if she'd give me a better reason for her recent behavior, and she finally said it:
"Well, I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend."
Finally...the truth. So, here was a friend on a major rebound.
Eventually, some shady dude slithered in and they went home
together. The two had been seeing one another for a bit, but of course this was not meant to be.
That night, while making out, he called her the wrong name. She was
so drunk at the time, that she was afraid she was going to forget
that he had committed such an offensive act. So, she took a moment
and texted to herself:
"Called me the wrong name. He's done."
Hopefully, she woke up the next day and read that text and did some
thinking.
Successful relationships occur when both people are acting
selflessly with no ulterior motives. And all of those hookups that
happen because one of, or both of, the people involved just need
someone because they are rebounding, or at some strange point in
their lives, probably fizzle out after a while.
The rebound poses the question: is it possible that a girl could be
with me, not because she likes me, but because she needs me at the
time our paths cross? Does it really matter who I am at all?
Is it safe to say that most relationships that start when one of
the participants is rebounding don't last? Do both participants
need to be at completely selfless points in their lives, free of
rebound, or need for vindication from another, for the relationship
to succeed? Have you ever behaved differently because you were
rebounding?
Posted by Rich
Related from Marie Claire:
How to Spot Your Soul Mate
Diary of a Hook Up From heck
5 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Relationship
50 Cheap Date Ideas
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