Last weekend I was at a housewarming party with friends I know
pretty well, but don't see very often. This type of friend
actually turns out to be quite a challenge, because when they
what's new, my answer is always the same:
"Nothing new. Working."
I brainstormed cooler things I could say to these friends to paint
my life as something different than a flat line:
- I'm going to navigate the African plains
- I'm going to bushwhack the Amazon rainforest
- At least I have plans to travel somewhere exotic that would require immunization
Meeting people can feel like an advertising campaign. You
accentuate the good and minimize the bad. So, stretching the truth
is a tough balance. You want to have a good enough story to engage
someone, but if you make it too good, they will be disappointed
when it turns out to not be true. Setting the bar low might
work-when you start dating you turn out better than
advertised. But if you set the bar too low in the beginning,
then that love interest may not want to follow up and get to know
more about you.
I've stretched the truth and even planned lies in my past
dating adventures. Here are some examples:
Lie: I'm in a band
The Truth: I've been playing guitar for
quite a while, and I know I can back it up if a girl wants to see
me play. But I can't back it up if she asks to hear a CD that my "band" put
together. The fact of the matter is that I've had plans to
record music, but it's never come into fruition. All of the
bands I've been in pretty much practiced, talked about the
future, and fizzled out.
Lie: I'm Jewish (planned lie)
The Plan: When I was in college I had a crush on a
Jewish girl. But her friends told me she was only into dating
Jewish guys. There had to be some way around this. I was a young,
positive-minded hot shot. Maybe I could pretend I was Jewish.
Because of my appearance, perhaps I could pass for part
Israeli.
I enlisted some Jewish friends as "coaches", learning all
of the holidays and traditions. The only time I hit a snag was when
I considered whether I'd actually have to eat the Kafilta
fish-salty dried fish (I don't do fish) some day if I ever
dated this girl. Eventually, I thought better of faking my
religion-seems like there could be some bad karma, and plenty that
could go terribly wrong, with that one.
Lie: I Played Division I College Soccer
The Truth: I was recruited to University of
Delaware (hardly a soccer powerhouse) to play soccer. For the
two-week tryout, I was basically on the team. However, I ignored
the workout regimen the coaching staff had sent me, unless getting
wasted at the beach all Summer was on there somewhere (it
wasn't). On top of this, I called the coach during tryouts to
ask for a day off because I misunderstood something he said-I
thought he said we could do that if we needed to. Oops. I always
feel like I need a day off. So, when I say I "played soccer at Delaware," I kind
of did. But I never made the team for real.
http://aspcacommunity.ning.com/
My friends and I developed a theory that anything associated with dolphins makes women happy. We would go out with the line all set: "I am in the sciences-I do a lot of work with dolphins." If we really wanted to lay it on thick, we would talk about saving a baby dolphin that had strayed into the bay (seems like when anything cute and whale-like strays into a bay it gets sick). Problem is: the closest I've ever been to a dolphin is attending a show at Sea World, and I didn't even sit in the "splash section".
The grandiose lies do impress, but when it comes time to back that lie up, I haven't recorded the album, attained the advanced degree, or known that famous relative I claimed to have. So, my thinking is that lying can only lead to disaster, but slightly stretching the truth might be doable. If first impressions are indeed everything, it might be prudent to refrain from including a lie as part of that first impression.
Have you ever told a lie to, or been lied to by a love interest while getting to know each other? Do you think relationships can recover if someone lies in the beginning to appear more attractive? How about if someone just stretches the truth? Ask and answer questions like these and get real time advice here.
Posted by Rich
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How to Spot Your Soul Mate
Diary of a Hook Up From heck
5 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Relationship
50 Cheap Date Ideas
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