Love + Sex

Saturday, November 7, 2009

He Likes Me -- Doesn't He?

Times have changed.  The days of Rhett Butler telling Scarlett O'Hara he didn't give a damn are long gone.  That's a shame in some ways. At least it made dating simple.  Nowadays, guys try to be considerate in an attempt to not hurt your feelings.  His miscues make it hard to know whether he's really into you, just wants to be friends or would love for you to switch phone plans.  While words might not be his strong point, his actions are.  Keep an eye out for these kinds of behavior.

  1. He actively takes an interest in you and what you have to say.  He's not just nodding and smiling and checking his watch every five minutes like you're trying to sell him life insurance.  There's eye contact.  He's actively listening.  He's asking questions, relating things you say to his own experiences.  If he's really good, he'll remember something you said and incorporate it in a future date. Try not to act too surprised.  
  2. He's forthcoming.  He wants you to know about him.  This manifests itself in a bunch of ways.  He'll share personal details about himself.  He'll even be eager to cough up basic factoids such as phone numbers, his address and place of work.  If he isn't giving up this kind of info, then he doesn't want you tracking him down -- or he's Batman or Superman.  So if he doesn't live at Wayne Manor or the Fortress of Solitude, give it up. 
  3. He'll mark his territory.  He won't pee on you or anything per se, but he will exhibit some animal behavior.  If he's decided he wants you as his female, he won't want to lose you.  If there's any chance that you might be snapped up by another male, he'll stake his claim.  He'll be tactile with you, slipping an arm around you, possibly posturing and standing up when another guy walks onto the scene.  Watch out for some regression to a more primitive man.  If you hear grunting, don't panic.  It's his way of saying he likes you. 
  4. He calls you back.  Despite the stereotype, he will call you back.  If you're a girl in demand, he won't want you to be the one that got away, so he'll call you to set up the next date or ask how you're doing.  If you're getting calls for no reason, that's a good thing. However, you may want to invest in a good phone plan.
  5. He'll check you out.  You'll bring out his spy skills in a good way.  He'll talk to your friends to get the 411 on you.  He wants to know more about you -- your past, your present, your likes and dislikes, water hazards, etc.  He's doing his homework because he wants to impress you.  He's gathering this intelligence so he knows how best to woo you. 
  6. He's flirtatious.  Guys get playful around women they like.  It's a little dance he's doing around you to show his interest and his daring.  However, he's not just being flirty, he's also probing.  He's putting on a little show for you to see if you'll reciprocate.  The more you play, the more he stays.  Now shake that tail feather.
  7. He's always planning ahead.  If he digs you, he won't want you getting away from him.  To make sure you aren't prey to some other guy, he'll be making plans for the next date before the current one is over.  A full calendar is a good sign.
  8. He's attentive.  He's been listening to you, and knows what you like and where you like to go.  He treats you to your favorite things and places.  He'll spring surprises.
  9. He'll blow off his buddies to be with you.  It's always tricky managing existing commitments with burgeoning relationships.  There are bound to be conflicts of interest at the some point.  So take it as a good sign when he'll ditch going out with the boys to see you instead.  
  10.  Acts of selflessness.  He'll take one for the team of you and him.  These can be large or small acts.  They can be as small as holding your hair back for when you've got stomach flu, or as large as suffering through a Celine Dion concert and pretend he's enjoying it because you're a fan.  Now “that's the power of love.”

Okay, he's doing his part, but what about you?  You've got him wrapped around your little finger, but don't get cocky.  You can lose him in the blink of an eye with a few classic screw-ups...

CONTINUE READING: He Likes Me --- Doesn't he?

ALSO READ "First Encounters: Not a Time for Fairytales" by Simon Oaks

By Simon Oaks for Intent.com

Copyright ©2009 Simon Oaks author of Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry: How to Get Him -- and How to Keep Him

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 384
  • None's Avatar
    Posted by None Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:33am PDT

    Huh?

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  • Paulie's Avatar
    Posted by Paulie Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:46am PDT

    I’m 43 years old that went through a divorce. It was ugly, and bitter to say the least.

    To start from the beginning, I meet my wife over the internet in 2001. I lived in Florida, she lived in Arizona. We talked and more for a year than I decided to move to Arizona to give love a chance in 02. She had 3 children from another marriage. We lived together and decided to get married in 04. August of last year she asked me to move out of the house. What a surprise it was for me. She filed for a divorce, and was final in March of this year. This is the very short version.

    I have relocated back to Florida to either run away, or get away from the whole thing. She has moved on with her new live-in boyfriend. (Started this in October of last year.) What hurts the most are the children and what they have to go through. They are too young to realize or understand what is going on, and dealing with another male figure in their lives without any say.

    I never gave the fight for the divorce. I left with my clothes and personal things that my vehicle could hold. I felt that if I took anything from the house as I’m allowed by law, I’m just hurting the children going without. I feel in my heart that the children should not suffer anymore than they are. I didn’t want to be remembered like that in their life.

    I miss the children so much everyday that the tears still run down my face. The angry and bitterness with the ex-wife is painful enough, but not knowing how the children are just rips my heart in peices. My family and friends is the best medicine for me right now as I try to put my life back together. I ask everyone the same question. When does the pain stop from the children? I keep getting the same answer over and over again. The pain never goes away.

    All my life I’ve always loved children. I raised the children from age 6 to13. I find myself now looking away from children now. My ex-wife has taken my love for children away from me. I can’t see myself with another women or children again. I see myself living a very lonely life for a long time or possibly forever. I battle this fight with myself every day. Sharing my holiday today with my parents was nice but not the same at all.

    I don’t talk to my ex-wife or the children anymore. I spent the holidays last year by myself and tried to find some type of hope from my inner self to pull myself out of this great lost I suffered. To this day I still don’t know what I did wrong or know where to start a new beginning.

    This is where I need some type of advice from people I don’t know. Maybe you can see something that I can do to move forward with my life. I miss the friendship the most that I thought we had as a married couple. To be honest, I miss the sex as well. It has been so long since I have been single. I don’t know how to talk to women. Sure when you are married you can say things like come on honey, hurry up and cum, the kids are coming. You know, you just can’t say this on the first date. J I miss sharing my life with someone so much. I’ll give you a great example, the other day I went to the beach just to unwind from my day. I’m walking along and see dolphins in the water and thought it was so cool. I looked around to tell someone to share this with and no one was around to see it with me.

    Please, someone has been through the same thing as I. I would love to hear the truth, and advice to move forward. I can honest say that I’m over my ex-wife. I can’t make someone love me if they have other ideas. I have learned to let go from this part of my journey through life.

    I’m the guy next door kind of person. I’m honest as can be without the insult. I don’t try to keep up with the Jones, nor try to be someone I’m not. I love to laugh and have a good time just like the rest of the world. I just don’t know how to get back into the world. I can’t stand going to bars at all. I drink maybe 3-4 times a year. Somebody please tell me how to get back on my bike and try again. I’m not afraid of trying. I’m afraid of getting my heart ripped out of my chest and tossed to the curb.

    Looking forward to hearing from all of you.

    Take care,

    Paulie

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  • Doktor Eevol's Avatar
    Posted by Doktor Eevol Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:07pm PDT

    A fairly good blogpost, but I am irked by the comment "if he wants you as his female." How about, "if he's interested in you as a long term partner" or something else that won't imply creepy, stalking ownership?

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  • Rebecca's Avatar
    Posted by Rebecca Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:15pm PDT

    Yeah, I think when a guy is into you, you pretty much know it...

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  • TMNT's Avatar
    Posted by TMNT Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:16pm PDT

    lol this is soo funny :P

    Report Abuse
  • J.J.M.'s Avatar
    Posted by J.J.M. Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:43am PDT

    I must be a flirtatious man-skank, because many(Not all) of these apply to my every day interactions with all women, whether or not I'm into them.

    Report Abuse
  • VanityS's Avatar
    Posted by VanityS Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:10am PDT

    what if one about 1/3 to 1/2 apply?

    than is he into me?

    Report Abuse
  • mary r's Avatar
    Posted by mary r Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:02pm PDT

    i have been with my boyfreid for 1 1/2 and he is in the chats room and he hide he screen on me when i go by him i think he not in to me like he tells me. what do i do

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  • John's Avatar
    Posted by John Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:51pm PDT

    All of these relationship blogs are retarded. These don't help relationships a bit.

    Report Abuse
  • Lil' Miss Red's Avatar
    Posted by Lil' Miss Red Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:53pm PDT

    Haha! I have see these many signs. And VanityS, I really think he still likes you even if one or two are not what he's doing. :)

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