Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

He Likes Me -- Doesn't He?

Times have changed.  The days of Rhett Butler telling Scarlett O'Hara he didn't give a damn are long gone.  That's a shame in some ways. At least it made dating simple.  Nowadays, guys try to be considerate in an attempt to not hurt your feelings.  His miscues make it hard to know whether he's really into you, just wants to be friends or would love for you to switch phone plans.  While words might not be his strong point, his actions are.  Keep an eye out for these kinds of behavior.

  1. He actively takes an interest in you and what you have to say.  He's not just nodding and smiling and checking his watch every five minutes like you're trying to sell him life insurance.  There's eye contact.  He's actively listening.  He's asking questions, relating things you say to his own experiences.  If he's really good, he'll remember something you said and incorporate it in a future date. Try not to act too surprised.  
  2. He's forthcoming.  He wants you to know about him.  This manifests itself in a bunch of ways.  He'll share personal details about himself.  He'll even be eager to cough up basic factoids such as phone numbers, his address and place of work.  If he isn't giving up this kind of info, then he doesn't want you tracking him down -- or he's Batman or Superman.  So if he doesn't live at Wayne Manor or the Fortress of Solitude, give it up. 
  3. He'll mark his territory.  He won't pee on you or anything per se, but he will exhibit some animal behavior.  If he's decided he wants you as his female, he won't want to lose you.  If there's any chance that you might be snapped up by another male, he'll stake his claim.  He'll be tactile with you, slipping an arm around you, possibly posturing and standing up when another guy walks onto the scene.  Watch out for some regression to a more primitive man.  If you hear grunting, don't panic.  It's his way of saying he likes you. 
  4. He calls you back.  Despite the stereotype, he will call you back.  If you're a girl in demand, he won't want you to be the one that got away, so he'll call you to set up the next date or ask how you're doing.  If you're getting calls for no reason, that's a good thing. However, you may want to invest in a good phone plan.
  5. He'll check you out.  You'll bring out his spy skills in a good way.  He'll talk to your friends to get the 411 on you.  He wants to know more about you -- your past, your present, your likes and dislikes, water hazards, etc.  He's doing his homework because he wants to impress you.  He's gathering this intelligence so he knows how best to woo you. 
  6. He's flirtatious.  Guys get playful around women they like.  It's a little dance he's doing around you to show his interest and his daring.  However, he's not just being flirty, he's also probing.  He's putting on a little show for you to see if you'll reciprocate.  The more you play, the more he stays.  Now shake that tail feather.
  7. He's always planning ahead.  If he digs you, he won't want you getting away from him.  To make sure you aren't prey to some other guy, he'll be making plans for the next date before the current one is over.  A full calendar is a good sign.
  8. He's attentive.  He's been listening to you, and knows what you like and where you like to go.  He treats you to your favorite things and places.  He'll spring surprises.
  9. He'll blow off his buddies to be with you.  It's always tricky managing existing commitments with burgeoning relationships.  There are bound to be conflicts of interest at the some point.  So take it as a good sign when he'll ditch going out with the boys to see you instead.  
  10.  Acts of selflessness.  He'll take one for the team of you and him.  These can be large or small acts.  They can be as small as holding your hair back for when you've got stomach flu, or as large as suffering through a Celine Dion concert and pretend he's enjoying it because you're a fan.  Now “that's the power of love.”

Okay, he's doing his part, but what about you?  You've got him wrapped around your little finger, but don't get cocky.  You can lose him in the blink of an eye with a few classic screw-ups...

CONTINUE READING: He Likes Me --- Doesn't he?

ALSO READ "First Encounters: Not a Time for Fairytales" by Simon Oaks

By Simon Oaks for Intent.com

Copyright ©2009 Simon Oaks author of Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry: How to Get Him -- and How to Keep Him

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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 395
  • Billy G's Avatar
    Posted by Billy G Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:53pm PDT

    "Nice article you got! Funny,informative and totally true!"

    Report Abuse
  • Melissa's Avatar
    Posted by Melissa Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54pm PDT

    number 9 is bull..dont ever ask a guy to ditch his friends for you, you just end up looking like a b---- in the end

    Report Abuse
  • Urma's Avatar
    Posted by Urma Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54pm PDT

    yah, mi crush is ALWAYS flirting with me. like alwais. and he's alwais huggin me n stuff, so u can imagine how happie i be wen he pais attention to me.

    so hopefullie, he likes me back.

    yah, u can tell im a teenager. ;P

    Report Abuse
  • Dawn's Avatar
    Posted by Dawn Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54pm PDT

    more depressed than ever, after reading this

    Report Abuse
  • KevinH's Avatar
    Posted by KevinH Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54pm PDT

    this is stupid.

    Report Abuse
  • Shocked.'s Avatar
    Posted by Shocked. Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54pm PDT

    wow..

    Report Abuse
  • Mike Jr.'s Avatar
    Posted by Mike Jr. Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:55pm PDT

    LOL, this sounds like the guy that's too nice. Nice thought with this list, authors heart is in the right place, but not terribly accurate. The guy's that are too nice are labled as friends, and that's all they can ever be. It's encoded in female DNA, once a guy is too nice, there is NO turning back!

    Report Abuse
  • South Amboy Man's Avatar
    Posted by South Amboy Man Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:56pm PDT

    #2 he can also be full of s--- and too into himself...

    #4 he could be a stalker

    #6 he wants in your pants.

    Report Abuse
  • royrogers's Avatar
    Posted by royrogers Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:57pm PDT

    well ok, the second page or whatever doesn't exist

    Report Abuse
  • Mr. S's Avatar
    Posted by Mr. S Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:58pm PDT

    This is funny! It could go two ways depending on the chick.

    If there was no chemistry a chick could say, "He scares me. He listens. He's always about me. He's just too much.

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