Well, where do I start? I guess I could start at the very
beginning, but that would just take too long. I'll give you the
VERY SHORT version.
I was married to my 2nd husband for almost 10 years when we 1st
separated in August 2004 (he was having an affair). We were apart
for 6-months, then reconciled. The reconciliation was brief, due to
the fact that he continued the affair. We separated again in
October 2005 with talks in between, booty calls and stories of
finally getting back together for good.
One day while I was at work I called his job to ask him a question
when I was informed that he had quit his job at the beginning of
the week and moved to New York. Needless to say I was floored,
devastated and in shock. You name it I was going through it. I
called his sister to find out what was going on and all I got was
"umm, umm". Now any other time this B**** would talk your
freakin ears off, but not that day.
I pored my heart and soul out to her only to have her call my
husband (her brother) and tell him of our conversation. He
calls me back (with the other woman in the car) and proceeds to
laugh at me and joke about my conversation with his sister.
I can go on and on with the rest of the story but the bottom line
is this. He broke my heart, he broke our family and he has broken
my spirits. I have been in several relationships since him but I
can't seem to get it right. Even though I know he is no good
for me. What he did and the way he went about it is all wrong. I
can't forget how he made me feel, how foolish he made me feel
and how he so easily walked way from his family to play house with
another and her kids. And yes we have 2 kids (I had to tell them he
left).
I want to love again, I want to be loved again and I want to
feel love again, but truth be told, I am very skeptical on that
ever happening. My heart is broken beyond repair.
Help! My heart is broken
user
- Let’s talk: Comment (41) | Blog
- Email to a Friend
- Print this Page
Syndication:
From the Community…
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 10:18am PDT
Report AbuseI felt the same at one point i was beyond deppression i tried to kill myself the love of my life the man id stuck by since 8th grade the man who took my virginity my first for it all played me and ripped my heart to shreads i got pregnant in 11th grade n i got an abortion cuz he said it was the right thing to do we werent ready he had dreams wanted to go to college HE NEVER wnt he turned into a weed head den i gt pregnant again n i miscarried i was devastated all i did was pray tell myself every nite i deserve better n i didnt date for about 6 mnths bcuz i always seemed to break their hearts cuz mine was still geting repaired i wnt say im all happy now But i am decent n i am going to school n u know he called me 2 days ago saying he missed me n that he took it so ill always be his i laughed said i moved on he said but i miss u i said good bye Geramy n hung up KiKi you have to let him go even though itll be hard do it for ur BABIES n ur self dnt let him or ur kids c or hear u cry u need 2 be strong n show him lyk i showed gearmy u have no control over me n wen he sees his kids smile at him nn hes a man he'll make a move n jus politly tell him no their the reason im here and leave SKREW HIM gurl be happi n as much as possible SMILE all the tym itll make u feel better good luck stay strong
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 10:42am PDT
Report AbuseOkay,..Here it is, lady. Go to the nearest Ice cream store an get yourself a tall chocolate milkshake. Sip it slowly in order to allow the dopemine in your brain to gather up all of the happy-happy, joy-joy that it can muster from your tongue, down to your toes. Sit down in a quiet place and begin to think back, when your greatest joy was having every option in life open to your beautiful whim, and nobody had any control over you and your patient decision making appeal. You weren't anxious, bored, or cumbersome, but more confident, unassuming, and as knowing about your beginnings as you do at this very moment. You aren't being held hostage to any want, need, or desire that your special patience isn't prepared for. Love finds you, and nobody ever finds love. It will come an kiss your heart when you have "prepared yourself" to receive it. It will not come sooner than when you have accepted that fact of life. It will overwhelm you because through preparation, you will have become sensitized to the soft caress of its sway in your new life. You will bathe in it because love is meant to be the softest persuasion that your heart can understand. It wasn't meant to be pounded with uncaring words, mixed with ignorant or mean tendencies from people who don't care for themselves, much less for you. Keep sipping on that milkshake, an begin to understand how important you are to the new people that you are going to meet through the love thats taking its time, and winding its way toward your life. Real love knows when they have a candidate for membership. You just find the other small pleasures that go along nicely with that milkshake, and let time do its work on you as you prepare yourself for the most beautiful time in your whole life...you have a real sweet day, an another shake if you want. You've earned it, and your rewards are just beginning to show up.
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 10:46am PDT
Report AbuseI'm sorry love. I wasn't married as long as you were but my husband had an affair also. He said he was going to stop but he didn't. So eventually the love I had for him disappeared and I LEFT him. We are going through the divorce now. I know what you mean about how you are afraid to love. I have to admit was not IN love with my husband. I had a lot of love for him. But the point was I was faithful and he was not. Its going to be tough but I am sure you will make it. You are alot stronger than you believe you are. *hugs*
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 11:03am PDT
Report AbuseWOW!!! "urassismine" (catchy name, lol) that was so beautiful. Thank you so much. I am so glad I posted my story and even happier you commented on it. You have a blessed day.
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 11:43am PDT
Report AbuseKiki, I'm happy that I could speak to you, and I hope that I have helped you to relieve some of those taunt feelings that seemed to dull your happiness quotient. I was merely trying to let you know that your smile is needed just as much as mine, to make this world go around and with as little friction as possible. Life should be nice and smooth, with soft breezes and sweet aromas that waif through nostrils and past dreamy closed eyelits that sense the oncoming goodness of many more pleasant smiles of remembrance and future prospects...you have a blessed day also...
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 11:49am PDT
Report AbuseUrassismine2, what do you do for a living? don't mean to pry but you write with such ease. Your confidence is literally jumping out of my screen as I read your different posts. Very interesting. I read some of your other posts, and again very interesting indeed.
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 12:17pm PDT
Report AbuseWell kiki,..I'm an educated man, confident in my personal demeanor, mannerable, articulate across many boundaries and skills, with a thumb for the kitchen as well as fingertips for the keyboard of studio sounds. I like peach cobbler, fried chicken the way my grandmother used to make it, collard greens without the sugar, and a woman who understands the slow softness of a man's willingness to please her heart beyond the pain of her worst past relationship. I'm a man an that is what I do, about living. As an occupation, some say that building skyscapers is a dangerous job, but to some its the thrill of just being way up there where some men won't come. Watercolors have a place in my heart, as do the footsteps of any museum, anywhere,..where there is something new to learn. A train ride to no place in particular, just to see if everything that somebody thought about is still there for me to notice. I'm not particular, as long as there is some color to it. I don't think your prying at all, just inquisitive to know a little more,..an thats just cool, an alright..I hope you like my blog posts, as I try to create different scenarios that I feel may be relevant to just one persons life, and may a help to someone new, as well...I'm here..
-
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 12:43pm PDT
Report AbuseYou have a way with words that I can't describe. That's new to me. You have a way of expressing yourself, it's almost as if I can SEE what you are saying. Does that sound weird? It's good to know you are here. It's so refreshing to talk (or instant message, lol) to a MAN who can express himself so eloquently. I have enjoyed my afternoon. Thanks again. Hope to talk with you real soon.
-
Posted by Wed Oct 7, 2009 1:48pm PDT
Report AbuseIf time grants enough air to breathe, visions to hold, and options to choose, then what happens in the future, is destined to end up just the way it began....have a great time until then..
leave your comment
You must sign in to post a comment