You know that Sex and the City episode where Berger tells Miranda: "he's just not that into you." I wish I had the ability to accept that nugget of wisdom with the cool and entirely un-phased demeanor that Miranda seemed to embody in that episode. Sure, it came back later to bite her in the a*s but for the most part, it's true isn't it? Or are men just cowards? Am I just fooling myself to make my self-esteem at least slightly less dependent on the "man-drug?"
It took me nearly a month to accept that a guy from my previous job was "just not that into me." And it took my ex boyfriend finally telling me. We either have to just accept it or we have to replace that infatuation with another. Even the creepiest men in Seattle checking me out on my way to work helps fulfill some twisted need to be wanted. Why do I feel so helpless and un-sexy without a crush or a fantasy?
So of course, the day after I finally accepted this painful bit of truth about my old crush, I'm on the prowl. I've already got a cute street stranger that I shared a perfect movie moment with yesterday and a new (super-hot) guy at work to drool over. Why do I have to be infatuated to feel attractive?
The major problem, though, is that it never lasts. I say I want to beat my commitment issues...but in all honesty, I just want them to want me.
