How Do Guys Define "Bad Sex"?
user
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy
friends. This week they answer the following: "What's
the definition of bad sex?"
Straight Single Guy (
Chris): Good sex is a
function of the physical and the mental. For women, the mental part
may be much more about nurturing and safety, or so I've read.
For men, I would argue the mental part is much more about stroking
the ego as much as the penis. Guys want to finish sex feeling
manly, powerful, and in control. Guys almost always get off, so the
physical part is fairly easy -- though I've been with some
women who really don't know what they're doing and
don't take subtle instruction well. For those women, there may
be no hope. For the mental part, every guy is different. Most want
to make sure their partner was satisfied, which is a win-win
situation. If we feel like our partner is bored, or going through
the motions, or worst of all, faking it, I think we come away
feeling weak and insecure, even if it isn't true. For the same
reasons, guys don't always want to have to initiate sex. We
want our lives to feel like an Axe Body Spray commercial, with
dilated pupils and uncontrollable urges. That's why Axe is one
of the fastest growing brands in history.
Gay Married
Guy (Jonathan Balthaser): There's lots
of types of bad sex. There's the
I'm-too-drunk-and-can-barely-keep-conscious kind. Worse is the
I-wish-you-had-bathed type. The herky-jerky,
we-just-don't-click type is just plain awkward. But by far the
worst kind of sex is dispassionate sex: being with someone
who's bored and would rather be playing Scrabble than with your
naughty bits.
Straight Married Guy (James
Glazebrook): Having sex with someone who isn't as
into it as you is THE WORST -- or so I've heard (meh meh).
Images like the drunk husband squirming atop his long-suffering
wife, who begs off with a headache but eventually submits, should
be consigned to cave paintings -- because in this day and age sex
should have nothing to do with obligation. You can do all the
scheduling and experimenting and dressing up (and getting drunk)
you want, but you will ultimately have to deal with the fact that
at some time, someone just won't feel like it. Don't fret
about it, and don't force it -- just go find a place to
whack/flick off, and maybe next time you'll get lucky.
Our "guys" are a rotating
group of contributors.
This
week's Straight Married Guy is James
Glazebrook of Manflet,
our Straight Single Guy is Chris
DiClerico, and our Gay Married
Guy is Jonathan Balthaser of
Boerum Hill Blog. To ask the guys your own question, click
here.
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LO:
photo by rileyroxx
