Love + Sex

Monday, November 9, 2009

How do you define "sex"?

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Getty Images

Remember when former President Bill Clinton said oral sex wasn't sex? South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford recently admit that he "crossed lines" with women other than his wife and the Argentine mistress, but "didn't cross the sex line." So what exactly does that entail?

The definition of sex has never been totally clear, and with indefinite terms like "hooking up" the lines are increasingly blurred. While some classify any type of foreplay using sexual parts as "sex," others will only label intercourse with actual penetration as "sex." But would this include anal sex or lovemaking between two lesbians?

"Sex is a word and nobody is really in charge of that term," says Kinsey Institute scientist Erick Janssen. "In a way, our thinking of sex and definitions of sex is more complex than they were in the past."

A study conducted in 1991 that surveyed 599 college students, found that 37% of women considered oral sex to be "sex," as opposed to 44% of men. In a 1996 survey, those stats rose to 46% and 52% respectively. "These data make it clear that general agreement regarding what constitutes having 'had sex' and how sexual partners counted cannot be taken for granted," concluded Kinsey researchers Stephanie Sanders and June Reinisch.

According to a book by Australian sex researchers, "touching blow the waist" constitute getting to third base in the 1960s. Now second base implies touching whereas third base usually denotes oral sex.

Whether you consider "sex" to be oral, anal or vaginal intercourse or even mutual masturbation one thing is for sure: participating in any of these behaviors with someone besides your spouse is cheating. Politicians are great public speakers and thus can be very sneaky in finessing and manipulating their words to avoid trouble, but we all know when they admit to a "hookup" that none of it was kosher.

How would you define the bases these days? What do you think is constitutes "sex"? [AP]
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 129
  • nov10child's Avatar
    Posted by nov10child Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:25pm PDT

    I would say any time you have your genitalia exposed to another person regardless of sex or intent - that is sex. For ex: he unzips you give oral - sex; you mastuarbate together - sex; anal, oral, or whatever requires exposing your genitals to someone for the express purpose of physical satisfaction. That is sex. Even if you do not climax, even if you do not kiss - its sex. The only exception to that general rule is children/ parents and person/dr.

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  • nov10child's Avatar
    Posted by nov10child Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:26pm PDT

    And of course you can have an emotional affair w/o sex...

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  • RyneishaB_05's Avatar
    Posted by RyneishaB_05 Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:36pm PDT

    Great Post:)

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  • Doktor Eevol's Avatar
    Posted by Doktor Eevol Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:46pm PDT

    Hahaha that picture is funny.

    Why bother redefining sex? Everyone is going to redefine it as a way to rationalize their bad behavior so I have another idea instead. Call it what it is - "sexual behavior" or "sexual interaction." That pretty much covers it, no?

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  • Melissa's Avatar
    Posted by Melissa Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:49pm PDT

    For me, since I'm straight, penetration is sex... Oral, anal, "third base" are all sexual activity but sex for me happens at penetration...

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  • Cheryl L.'s Avatar
    Posted by Cheryl L. Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:49pm PDT

    Anything past kissing is a form of sexual contact.... Actually if the kissing gets all hot and bothered, then hey, you might as well consider that as sex as well.(as far as cheating would go). Just because you kept it in your pants, if you had a sexual release, you had sex.

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  • Briana's Avatar
    Posted by Briana Wed Jul 1, 2009 1:51pm PDT

    I dont think that oral sex is "Sex" I think when u penetrate thats "Sex" the other stuff is what i consider foreplay or messing around...I guess different age and time...sorry old generation..haha get on board!

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  • lenny t's Avatar
    Posted by lenny t Wed Jul 1, 2009 7:52pm PDT

    Does that mean if you fantasize about another person you know and masturbated to completion You Have cheated? you lusted in your mind had unfaithful thoughts where do you draw the line? I think the rules in any relationship should be defined by the people in that relationship and everyone else should stay out of it!

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  • Aderoju's Avatar
    Posted by Aderoju Wed Jul 1, 2009 8:13pm PDT

    some girl like sex,some didt like,some girl cant stay without have sex daylly,thats why some of then for to sex evarasment.hahaaaaa.better stay with ur wife,ur wife will stay with u.

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  • Jayden's Avatar
    Posted by Jayden Wed Jul 1, 2009 9:36pm PDT

    its sex no matter wat.ur clothes are still off or not

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