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If he's like Randy....
He's indifferent.
Oh, he can get excited sometimes, but his steady stream of "I don't know, dawg, it was just aw-right" lines means he's not ready to commit—for better or worse. He's ho-humming about your skirt, your cooking, your job problems, your relationship. The occasional glimpses of enthusiasm are enough to keep you jazzed, but, frankly, one of the other two extremes would be a little more exciting.
If he's like Simon...
He has no filter whatsoever.
Most guys, if they expect to make it past your first audition, won't pull a Simon (calling your dress horrible and your performance a disaster), unless he matches his criticisms by also singling out things he finds absolutely brilliant, smashing, fabulous. This kind of guy might not last too long in a relationship because his expectations are sky-high, and he doesn't think your opinion counts. He can't have an equal partnership, because he thinks he's holding all the power. Disagree? Then consider a walk off his stage.
If he's like Paula...
He tells you what you want to hear.
You're beautiful. Amazing. You have your own style. Gush. Gush. Gush. Great to hear once or twice, or when you're coming off a Simon relationship and are starved for positive feedback. But if he's laying on the flattery all the time—even when you don't feel you deserve it or necessarily want it—it comes off as a bit phony (and exaggerated). If he can give you well-placed compliments without making you feel like you need a restraining order, he may be a keeper.
Of course, even the Idol judges control only the contestants who make it through the first few rounds of auditions. Ultimately, the audience takes over the judgment calls. It's true for you, too: Just because your man calls himself a judge, doesn't mean you need to accept each and every one of his decisions. Maybe you just need to present your particular song to a more appreciative audience at some point. Keep singing!
For some great tips on how he can be more irresistible to you, give him these 10 simple lessons.
Need some of your own perfect-girlfriend tips? Try these great ones!
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