How Far is Too Far in a Fight

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by Katie B Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:18am PDT

  When it deviates off the subject at hand and it gets personal... Personal attacks (like those you stated above and then some) should have no place in any argument, because then it goes from trying to get your point across to trying to hurt someone in order to get your point across.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Meagan Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:24am PDT

  Hey Jake, no you aren't our cleaning ladies, but we aren't yours either. If we clean up after ourselves, why can't the same be expected of you?

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Robyn Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:24am PDT

  I totally agree with you. If I am that upset with my so, before even discussing the problem with him I will sit down and write it out. Pour everthing that comes to mind on paper. I ususally feel much better afterward (my own form of therapy), and sometimes there is really no need to discuss it with him since I realize after writing it out that I am over-reacting. If it is still bothering me I am in a much better frame of mind to discuss it calmly with him. I always remember that once out of my mouth I can't take it back! I love and respect him too much to disrespect him that way!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by None Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:25am PDT

  Wow you are a very sweet guy, cuz I was told that men have a right to call a woman stupid because you can, or some kind of code, that is a very offensive thing to me, that is belittling someone, stupid is offensive or asssuming things about me, when I know who I am, gets under my skin, I called him a name once jokingingly and I was told to never say it again and I didn't, yet he believes its ok to do it to me.......WTF? OH! And the one that gets them is saying something about their friends or family, never go there, but for some reason it only applies to the women, men are assholes & I am pissed right now. Sorry folks just had to vent! LOL!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by None Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:25am PDT

  I respect you a lot for your morals.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Super Abuelita Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:30am PDT

  I don't believe in verbal, physical or emotional abuse coming from myself or anybody else.

  It doesn't accomplish anything.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Not a one Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:30am PDT

  I wish my husband had the same lines as you- he crosses these every time we fight.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Bubbsdaddy Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:34am PDT

  Ok Jake, so my question would be, regarding 5) I will never accept the above from her.

  What exactly do you mean by that? What would be the consequences if she did any or all of 1 through 4? If she calls you an a**ole or tells you to shut up, what would you do? What do you think she'd do if you told her to shut up or called her a b**ch?

  I agree that numbers 1-4 should never happen in an argument, but they do sometimes I'm sure while in the heat of the moment...

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by None Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:36am PDT

  Oh I misread that sexist comment Jake, we are not your mothers, if you are around chores should be 50/50, if it weren't for women, you'd have your house in a pig stye with bugs and mice breeding, grow up a little.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Robyn Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:48am PDT

  if it gets to the point of sinking low to abuse then you need to walk away, it ok to say we need to walk away from the argument because half way through you usually forget the first thing you guys were arguing about

  Report Abuse