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Saturday, December 5, 2009

How Manly Do You Like Your Man?

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Alright, everyone--it's high time for me to reveal a side of my past that may have a big effect on what you think of me as a man. You already know I'm a total dandy. I've fessed up to manscaping. And my obsession with finding the perfect pomade for my high-maintenance hair is borderline pathological. How could things get any worse? Try this doozy on for size:

I used to be a ballet dancer.

My stint at the barre lasted from second grade through sixth grade, and I have no regrets. It all started when my sister started dancing--somehow her teacher, the indomitable Ms. Kay, talked my brother and me into joining her. Believe it or not, I never really got teased for dancing. I also played baseball and soccer and was very much one of the guys. I always maintained that ballet required more toughness than any sport with a ball, a statement I stand by to this day.

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I was reminded of my Billy Elliot phase last night, when I went to see the American Ballet Theatre's production of Sylvia with my friend Rosemary, who is also a former dancer. I admitted to her that I have always been hesitant to mention my history with ballet to girls because I'm afraid they'll write me off as a creampuff. She scoffed at this notion and told me about a t-shirt she used to own that read "Real Men Don't Lift Weights, They Lift Women."

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The lovely Rosemary, who was a much better ballet dancer than me.

I like the quote, but I think the whole notion of "Real Men" has prevented millions of guys from pursuing their true interests. I understand that many women prefer manly men and wouldn't be interested in a, um, nuanced guy like me. That's cool. Quite frankly, I've never really been into the prototypical girly girl. But I think we all need to take a close look at our gender expectations and be a little more careful when throwing around terms like "manly" and "girly". Or is that a girly thing to say?

Do you tend to go for traditionally masculine guys? Do you consider yourself very feminine, or not so much? What's the "manliest" thing you've ever done? And do you like the ballet?

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Comments 81-89 of 89
  • Luke M's Avatar
    Posted by Luke M Sun Jul 5, 2009 7:41pm PDT

    I respect the writers honesty and openness. It makes the article somewhat humorous.

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  • william's Avatar
    Posted by william Sun Jul 5, 2009 8:23pm PDT

    good question - my husband of many years now is truly manly the muscles and the mustache and most of all the maturity are all such turn ons tooo me and also the construction boots with jeans and a thick denim jacket

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  • K's Avatar
    Posted by K Sun Jul 5, 2009 10:09pm PDT

    I love ballet, and I think any man who can be graceful and sensitive is a great plus. I hate the term "Manly man". It's so "caveman" sounding, and just makes me think of a big dumb buffoon trying to prove his manliness and ending up looking like an idiot. What makes a man sexy is strictly unique to the individual. Each one is different and it's always fun to find out what makes a guy tick.

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  • AmandaG's Avatar
    Posted by AmandaG Mon Jul 6, 2009 9:16am PDT

    I just wanted to say that I know how to stand up for myself. I wasn't clear in my earlier comment. It's just very f--- ed up to me if a man a woman's with won't stand up for her. Someone starts s--- with her and the woman defends herself and wants the man to help defend her and instead he sits there with a "der" look on his face. Yeah, that just isn't right. And, it isn't just men without a backbone that bother me. Women without a backbone bother me too.

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  • Zom-B's Avatar
    Posted by Zom-B Mon Jul 6, 2009 10:19am PDT

    No prob, AmandaG....if a guy's not standing up for you, just find another one (a TALL one, of course, 'cause they're the only ones worth anything) and arch your back and show off your boobs like you're doing in your profile pic and I'm sure he'll quickly step up to the plate. :)

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  • arturo's Avatar
    Posted by arturo Mon Jul 6, 2009 1:06pm PDT

    In these days women complain that a mans soft side is what they wish they had .. what is considered a manly man ?

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  • AmandaG's Avatar
    Posted by AmandaG Mon Jul 6, 2009 3:15pm PDT

    Zom-B,

    Thanks. I'll get RIGHT on that!!! LMAO.

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  • cindy's Avatar
    Posted by cindy Tue Jul 7, 2009 11:02am PDT

    I usually like a rough, tough, gritty kind of man. Biker tats and shaved head, partial beard. Not too clean and not well mannered.

    Now who I married on the other hand is a well mannered guy, who does have the tats, but he is a "reformed" badboy. He cleans the house and dresses nicely. Sometimes I tease him that he is more fem than myself, that is not really true, but he plays along. :)

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  • flame-n-heather's Avatar
    Posted by flame-n-heather Tue Jul 7, 2009 1:25pm PDT

    I love it when a man doesn't feel like he has to be a barbarian to be a man. "Manly" men are often jerks. If I ever ditch my "manly" man, you can be dam* skippy I'll be going for a more sensitive, well rounded guy.

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Comments 81-89 of 89

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