How long should I give my newly divorced boyfriend before I leave?
I believe in karma and I
was (and am) willing to deal with all the thunderstorms I have
coming my way by having sex and falling madly in love with a man
that is 50 years old, married for 35 years and has two grown
children my age, early 30's. I know once a cheat
always a cheat, I know I betrayed my sex by being with
him..."how will I explain this to my son when he is my
age"? I know. I am a bad woman. I
am confident that my man is in love with me. And I actually
truly believe that he is faithful to me 100%. He has
sacrificed a lot by being truthful with his family about me
and my age. He is a good man. I told him in the
begining of their divorce that he may want a bit of time before he
moves in and we start on our plans of together forever, he
wouldnt hear of it. But why now after 10 months is his
belongings still split between his 2nd house and my house?
The divorce is almost finaI. Once we had plans to be married
within weeks of him being offically divorced. Now there are
no plans and no ring. I know it sounds like I am moving too
fast but 10 months ago, we were moving too
fast. He lives/stays with us and I would never of had
him move in unless marriage was in the future. I
think he just isn't ready to settle down now. Or maybe he
has changed his mind. He told me he is scared to be a bad
husband again. He is scared about failing again.
But whatever the case, I 'was without a doubt the best
thing in his life' 10 months ago. He loved me more than
anything.. And now he is scared to be bad a husband to me...
Does anyone have statistics? What are the chances that
he and I along with my son become a family? Do I let go or
give him time with no pressure?
Yes, Ladies, I know I am a terrible woman for messing around with a
married man. I know that already. I just love him so
much.
How often does he leave his wife and the man and the 'infamous' other woman live happily ever after?
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Comments 1-8 of 8
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Posted by Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:19am PST
Report AbuseHey sweetie. take a deep breath and relax. If he says that he doesnt want to be a bad husband again then he needs more time. Girl give him his space he may appreciate alot better. tell him if he is not ready it is ok but you would like him to move out until he gets his mind right. Take some time out for your self and your son and see if this is someone that you really want to be with. If all of his thing are not moved in yet, and still at the ex wife house. maybe he feels wrong and horrible and may want to get back with her and trying to prolong it and see if they still got something. If he is not ready and feel forced he may do the same to you. No i dont believe once a cheater always a cheater. but do you know the reason for him cheating with you??????
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Posted by Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:36pm PST
Report AbuseWake up, you are his mistress and he is not going to leave his wife.
Get your son and get far away from him.
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Posted by Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:43pm PST
Report Abusenever it almost always screws up the excitment in the chase can get confused for love very easily but the best thing to do is leave dont wait the longer u wait the harder it gets he is a grown man he will get over it
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Posted by Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:03pm PST
Report AbuseI should of clarified, he has his clothes in his 2nd house. The wife lives in one house and he is getting the 2nd house for himself thru the divorce. HE IS LEAVING his wife. I am not worried about that at all. The reason why he cheated on his wife, ( believe me or not) they have slept in different beds for 15 yrs. She isn't even sad, just embarrassed and scared that he isnt going to give her half of everything. He is giving her more than half...The kids even said they know their parents should get divorced. I just am having a hard time realizing that we were moving too fast and he almost owes it to himself to experience life single, I guess. He has never been anything but wonderful to me. I will miss him. Maybe we'll come back around to where we once were. He is sad today about this too. I know he loves me. And I do understand, it is just hard. Juanita, thank you. Sometimes I DO forget to breathe...I don't regret a moment of this relationship.
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Posted by Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:04am PST
Report AbuseAccording to my marriage counselor, who I was seeing because my ex cheated, less than 25% of second marriages between the mistress and cheating spouse work out. But my ex and his mistress are still giving it a try, you never know if it will work. He probably does need some time to adjust to the divorce (speaking from experience) but I agree that the age difference will be too much.
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Posted by Sat Jan 24, 2009 12:50pm PST
Report AbuseDon't beat yourself up for falling for him. Trust me, it has happened to the best of us. But just because you are in love with him and he is in love with you does not necessarily mean that your marriage to him will last. Unfortunately, some of the most "in love" people end up in divorce court. If you really want to be married and stay married then weigh your options, and make sure that you can see yourself with this man for the rest of your life. You don't want to end up in the same situation that his wife was in with him. Unless he has changed, then he may end up ruining your life too.
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Posted by Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:11am PST
Report AbuseWhat state do you live in? His soon to be exwife could press charges against you. He will say to you.... shes not like that.... do you live in Michigan?
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Posted by Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:36pm PST
Report AbuseWho knows what the chances are? Every human being is different, experiences life differently. I started seeing my bf while he was still married and he got divorced and we've been together 8 years. He's asked me to marry him, but I'm stalling due to my own committment issues!! :) Good luck, don't worry so much, just let the chips fall where they may.
Comments 1-8 of 8
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