How to Have Casual Sex

Our dating blogger Maura Kelly asked her friend Jack from Nerve.com for advice on how to “scratch the itch” and have casual sex. Here are his pointers:

#1: Pick as your sexual partner someone who drives you crazy--in good and bad ways. Is there a person who really gets under your skin? A person to whom you feel powerfully sexually attracted--and yet completely infuriated by? Maybe he's the cocky banker who went to college with a friend's husband. Maybe he's the hot idiot guy who works in the marketing department, who always seems to want to get into some inane conversation with you over the water cooler. Maybe he's a crazy conservative and you're a wacky liberal, or vice versa. If he's kind of annoying--BUT you have sexual fantasies about him nonetheless--that person would be a good candidate for a casual-sex partner. He himself will be a constant reminder about why the relationship could never work out. The minute he opens his mouth, the reason will be clear.

#2: Make it clear to the other person--and yourself--up front that what you're having is a tryst. How to do this? Don't go out for dinner with the person, or for drinks. Do away with all the trappings of a romantic relationship. Give your sexual partner a small window of time during which you will be available--say, during your lunch break, or late-night on Friday--and use that time for sex, and sex only. Don't sleep over, and don't let him sleep over either.

#3: Repeat to yourself before, after and during sex: This is not about love, nor will it ever be. Remind yourself that all the pleasure and happiness you are feeling is a CHEMICAL response. You are not special to the person who are shagging, and he is not special to you. The two of you do not have some huge personal connection. What you're doing is not related to "happily ever after." (It may not even last a full three months.) It's simply about sex, purely a physical release, and there's no real future in it.

#4: Try to make it as hot and wild--even kinky--as possible. If you're tied to the headboard, or he's wearing a dog collar, the act itself will be a reminder that what you're doing isn't "making love" but having crazy sex.

Read the last two tips here

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