How to help a jobless boyfriend get back on his feet?

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  Posted by Sherman Wed Oct 15, 2008 4:49am PDT

  dear beloved-God save me from a woman with most of these views. But fear noy, I'm a dinosaur. The main problem is the concept of a man has been deterioated over the years. I've been married 36 years. The secret is fairly simple. A man relies on nobody except himself. His motivation is born within himself. He needs no encouragement to work. He concetrates on himself. He needs no one to make him happy. He is happy within hiself. He has self motivation and should never seek encouragement. That is also accomplished within.A man is supposed to be a pillar of honesty and sincere dealing with women. He faces responsibility and shuns those traits that encourage the negative. When he developes these traits, he has something to offer. If he is lax and confussed in his role, he has nothing to offer and woe to the woman looking for a makeover. My wife told me before we got married that she was going to make me happy. I told her she was not going to make me happy. I'm happy already. And I would like to share it with her. I also expressed I'm not going through life trying to make her happy. Its something to be joyfully shared and not a chore or a job that has no ending. Yes obsticles in life are to be expected. But obsticles are stumbling blocks for the weak, but they are stepping stones for the strong. Too many people want someone to make them happy or whole. Many woman are not whole and have lost themselves. They live for family, friends, job, kids, and everybody wants a piece of you. Your significant other, your boss, your parents, your kids, your bills. All going out and little comming in. A man is a force that is a source of energy and nurishment of the positive. Not a person that absorbs the energy and concern of others. Especially women.

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  Posted by jules, ( jellybean) Wed Oct 15, 2008 7:07am PDT

  Oh I so agree with Shinansha, you put it so eloquently. Happiness can only come from the inside. You can try to please someone all you want to make them happy but if on the inside they are unhappy it won't matter what you do it's futile.

  And the thing about the "I love you but if you don't do it" card I don't think you should play that game at all it's reward and punishment and love shouldn't be about that, love is kind,love is patient,it is giving,sharing and all those other things associated with love.

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  Posted by Andrea Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:33am PDT

  I GOING 2 TRY THAT ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

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  Posted by Sam Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:37am PST

  I beg to differ. I know my fiance is a strong and happy man, but when life pulls a fast one sometimes u just need a little of a push to feel better. Everyone has a bad day, and how can we not encourage one another when its happening to someone we love?

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