Love + Sex

Sunday, November 8, 2009

How To Nurse A Sick Man Back To Health

 
how to nurse a sick man back to health

iStockphoto

iStockphoto

My honey bunny threw out his back this weekend moving heavy boxes into our new apartment and literally couldn’t move unassisted for 48 hours. Despite my lack of qualifications for the job, I became the de facto meal-maker, bath-giver, walker-to-the-bathroom, and all around nursemaid.

Luckily for us both, I passed the Not Nurse Ratched test with flying colors. He’s back on his feet, albeit in a shuffle-y, wobble-y kind of way. 

I’ve heard that saying that if a couple really wants test its compatibility, they should go on a week long vacation to a foreign country together. But actually, I think one partner nursing the other back to health is a better indication! Surprise, surprise, you don’t need a nurse’s uniform (though he’d probably like that) to take care of a sick dude. But you do need love, patience…and a bulls**t detector.

  1. In the Absence Of Actual Medical Knowledge, Sympathetic Cooing Goes A Long Way: Damned if I know the relative merits of Motrin vs. Advil, or the safety concerns of ingesting several-years-old codeine pills. But furrowing my brow worriedly and exclaiming, “Poor baby!” seemed to alleviate some pain. Back rubbing also helped.
  2. Prepare For Things To Get Really Intimate: My guy crawled to the loo while I was preoccupied on a phone call for work and, of course, pulled his already-hurt back muscles the wrong way. I found him writhing on the hallway floor in pain and asked why he didn’t just wait for me to get off the phone. He said he didn’t want to gross me out by asking for my help with the potty. I said I could handle it and that if we ever have kids some day, he’s going to have to handle some “gross” bodily functions, too. Ultimately, I think he’s just too shy, but I made it clear that I find nothing about him or his body “gross.” Because, really, I don’t.
  3. It’s OK To Be Just A Smidge Bitchy If It’s For A Good Cause: The most frustrating part of the whole experience for me was how antsy he got about healing now now now. If I were forced onto my back for several days, I think I’d enjoy kicking back and watching daytime trash TV! But he kept trying to test the boundaries of his pain by crawling around, climbing up on the toilet by himself, etc. Just go slowly so you don’t hurt yourself again, I wanted to scream. Finally I straight out requested he “not do anything stupid, please.” I think fear of pissing me off kept him from potential further injury. continue reading...
Do you have another other tips to add on how to nurse a sick man back to health?

--- Jessica Wakeman for The Frisky


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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 15
  • Dubs's Avatar
    Posted by Dubs Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:59pm PDT

    Guys are stubborn when it comes to heavy lifting and physical labor. Sometimes we don't use proper techniques and it gets us into these predicaments. It happens to women too and I am always eager to be there for the SO when she needs some TLC via some soup, foot rub, snuggles, ..I don't really care if I catch whatever she has..aslong as she feels loved, I know the effort will be reciprocated. This is part of LOVE no? Not a one way street.

    "I think fear of pissing me off kept him from potential further injury." Hah! I've gotten that lecture, and accepted my licks for what they were....my stupidity for trying to do too much.

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  • simfelicity's Avatar
    Posted by simfelicity Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:16pm PDT

    tender love and care.....

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:00pm PDT

    I remember when my man hurt his ankle and needed my help. Not really majorly just with the little stuff like making sure he stayed off of it for a while.

    Whenever he had a really bad headache I was there with ibuprofum, chicken noodle soup and me to help him out.

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  • G's Avatar
    Posted by G Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:13pm PDT

    Baby him because, that's what they become when they get sick. Any man I've been around when they are sick seem to just fall apart . I think it goes back to childhood and wanting to be mothered.

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  • Briana's Avatar
    Posted by Briana Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:33pm PDT

    My ex was hideous when he was sick or injured. A tiny sniffle could turn him into a whimpering, whining, literally moaning mama's boy. The tiniest drop of blood sent him into near-hysterics, especially if it was his own. He was "allergic" to everything...that he didn't like, or as the mood struck him. He would revert to infantile behavior, until I began to suspect that a blankie and pacifier might be necessary. I tried babying, cooing and comforting. Not good enough. Practical solutions or ideas, like temperature checking, administering OTC meds, cool cloths or warm baths were rejected. Even chicken soup did not work. Or crackers and ginger-ale. Nothing. No worries about him over-exerting, as exertion was quite foreign to him during times of relative good health, and a bruise or cold would send him crawling into bed, sometimes for a suspiciously long time. I finally did the only thing I could. With an actual infant in the house to care for I could not deal with an overgrown toddler, and drama king as well. So I sent him home to his mommy. There is something unnervingly creepy about seeing a woman envelop a 6'2" 240 lb. moaning man in her arms, and then hear her sniveling "O, poor baby" (it's true, I will swear to it), before turning to me accusingly (while I'm holding her exhausted and slightly feverish grandson in my arms) and informing me that her darling is too warm (I know, I took his temp, when he let me), and seems to have the "flu" (no surprise, so do the kid and I), and, additionally (you horrible, deficient woman you) needs his REST. Ya think? I left him to my now ex MIL's TLC (shudder), went home with the baby. WE spent several miserable days with high fevers, puking and unable to sleep, while mommy's precious recovered by the next morning, although not sufficiently to come to his wife and child's aid. O, I was working at the time, and so missed some days, which irritated him. He was unemployed. Phooey. My partner rarely gets sick, or injured, and when he does he mostly just gets quiet and wants to be left alone. Only the occasional crushing headache really brings him down, and all he asks for then is quiet. He detests people who are overly solicitous, which suits me well, as I am the same way. So, if your man is too sick, whiny, miserable and pathetic to deal with, and you've tried everything and are at your wits' end, send him back to the person who is probably the root cause of the difficulty.

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  • Nose's Avatar
    Posted by Nose Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:30am PDT

    My ex bf refused to be seen when he was ill. I offered to spend xmas day with him once when he had a flu and told him I'd bring over chicken soup and just hang out with him but no way........he wanted to be left alone in his misery. I even told him he didn't need to feel obligated to entertain me but still.....no. And whenever I was sick......he'd stay away too; didn't want to catch what I had. Glad he's my ex.

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  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:43am PDT

    Actually, I believe Motrin and Advil are the same drug--ibuprofen--and these are just different brand names. But, anyway, kudos to you for being such a loving nursemaid to your man. I'm sure he will appreciate it for years to come, and hopefully, if you ever get yourself into such a predicament, he will return the favor.

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  • None's Avatar
    Posted by None Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:44am PDT

    It's always strange to me how people will bend over backwards until they kill themselves for a lover, yet when a parent or actual family needs help, no one is there?

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  • InLove's Avatar
    Posted by InLove Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:17am PDT

    For most men, like my husband, if he's sick, sit him on the couch in front of the tv or his Xbox, order his favorite pizza, and rub his feet. He'll love you forever.

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  • rkmail's Avatar
    Posted by rkmail Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:14am PDT

    i love you.....

    rudi@karyadi.com

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