I Ain't Settlin'

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  Posted by Barbara Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:32pm PST

  thats funny, I can't even remember the lastime I even had a realtionship.That is how finiky I am. For a start , I am to the same with begin picky. And when i think that someone may fit the "part",well they usually will do something that will set red flags up in my book. One thing I do notice is that the younger a woman is, the easier it is to find a replacement. And once the kids , and age set in . It is hard to find someone to bond with. Good luck In finding someone.

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  Posted by peacegirlalways Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:39pm PST

  i would say your a indepent woman

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  Posted by jen Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:43pm PST

  I agree with the song. Don't settle for something or someone you don't want. But know what you want and look for those aspects in a guy. As long as what you want is reasonable.

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  Posted by TasselLady Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:53pm PST

  I understand what you mean. I'm tired of settling for second best. I ended a relationship a year and a half ago, and it was the best thing I ever did. He might as well be married to his mother. It was like he had a "curfew". I got sick of being last on his list. And you're right, the nice guys are very hard to find. And, many good guys don't seem to like a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, takes care of herself, and won't take any crap. I guess I scare guys off because of it. But I'm not going to be a doormat for any guy, never again. Been there, done that, and I'm not going back to it. I figure if God wants me to have a good guy, he'll find me one. Until then, I'm staying by myself.

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  Posted by India J Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:59pm PST

  hey i have the same problem i'm 39 single and no kids . i dont want to be single and i also dont want to settle for any ol thing just to say i have a man either. i know i dont have much time left to have kids , i don't know what to do . i know i'm to picky but now a days we have to be. i hope to find a good man soon. good luck to you

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  Posted by F1_RACECARDRIVER Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:02pm PST

  Good to know i am not alone in this one!!! I should say i am a little of both.

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  Posted by Suba! Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:37pm PST

  I have been single for 2 years. I am a single father of 2 kids. I have full custody (rare for men) because their mom left us for another man. I've tried the dating scene but honestly, I've become picky! The littlest things can turn me off. I have come to the point where I actually enjoy being single. I'm sure I have my faults too but it is what it is! I'm 34, single, in the best shape I have ever been in my life and I'm not in a hurry to be in a relationship! Well, 16 years with the woman I married (high school sweety), I am having fun with my 2 kids!

  Ladies, men are picky too. Not all of us are about sex. Some of us are about life. ;)

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  Posted by deannab Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:23pm PST

  I have been single for over four years now. I am a single mom trying to find that right guy but like you said they seem to not exist. One thing I have been lucky on is not settling with just anyone. I have never married and I won't til I know it's right. If I have to wait another 32 years then I guess I will. And it is hard trying to find someone who will date you and be ok with you having a child. Please note to the men out there not all of us women with a child/children want you to take care of them. I have been doing it for nine years on my own and will be happy to keep on doing it :) We just want someone there to help them along or be that father figure if they don't have one.

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  Posted by Tom Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:04pm PST

  I think people are too picky, I am not surprised as we are a "consumer culture" these days. that is a good thing in some ways, but it causes us to over look good people because we are told constantly we can have it all. But we settle all the time as that is the nature of life where we all are different. What I think people mean by that is they have a level or standard that they are not going to go below. the more complicated things get it seems the longer our list is for who is acceptable or not. I have seen very nice men passed by (and women also) simply because the person failed on a few points. which are a lot of times small points.

  A lot of this is outlined in a marketing book of all things entitled "the paradox of more, and why more is less" it's about how we purchase things and how we fret and comprise about our purchases,....well finding a partner is also in that commodity category these days. plus people seem less willing to compromise after years of being told we don't have, your great and why should you "settle" but that is what we do every day..."we settle". the key is settling for what we deem "core". i try to keep that list small and manageable. because even if you get everything you want, guess what? we change and puff...we don't have that original product we wanted.

  There are plenty of good people out there if we shed our "commodity" expectations and really give our lists a second look and see where we can compromise.

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  Posted by Climbing Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:02am PST

  When you relax and are comfortable with the company of your own then there's a chance you'll meet him. But if everyday you worry that you'll be lonely forever than no good comes from it. There're more lonely people in "relationships" than single, that's why the antidepressants are in rise. I work in health and see that every day.

  I agree all the way with TasselLady's 2 last sentences.

  We need to learn to be best friends with our selves first. That's who we'll be with first. That's who will be present in our lives always.

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