Q: I made a huge mistake by cheating on my boyfriend. I swore to
him I'd never do it again and he has given me a second chance. How can
I regain his trust?
A:The first step toward repairing your relationship is understanding why
you strayed in the first place, so it doesn't happen again. Did you
feel unhappy, dissatisfied or neglected? By identifying the reasons for
your infidelity and addressing them with your boyfriend, you'll stand a
better chance of moving forward together. You also have to accept that
your partner is most likely feeling angry and hurt, which is natural.
You don't have to let him walk all over you, but listen to his gripes,
accept responsibility for what you've done and ask what you can do to
make him feel more secure, such as checking in with him when you're out
for the evening. Also, doing little things that mean a lot to him, like
buying tickets to see his favorite band, for instance, will help
restore his faith. Regaining his trust won't be easy or quick, but it is possible and your bond may end up stronger for it.
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From the Community…
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 10:21am PDT
Report AbuseWell I recently had the bad news of learning my "Husband" cheated on me and I am trying my hardest to forgive him for it, however, no matter how I do it I will NOT forget. I know from his side it will be hard but if you both love each other you could make it work, I am reading a book called the 5 Languages of Love, I very much recommend this book to you both, Best of Luck to ya!
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 10:37am PDT
Report Abuseyes you are right girl the just love women don't mind the have wife the still tthink of sexy women right by your side and it hurt like hell to know you are not good for them the forget how you look it's like you are not there
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 10:38am PDT
Report AbuseHonestly review the reasons why you cheated.......was is for excitement, are you bored with current b/f, are there certain qualities that he lacks but would want to make you happy, were you curious about other men, do you truly feel guilty about the act or that you believe cheating is wrong and did it anyway? There are many reasons why cheating occurs. While he is angry, you should lay low and analyze your feelings and then be prepared to talk about it with your b/f. It will take alot of work, but true love conquers all. If you love him, fight for him but fight smart so that you rebuild the relationship and not have him walk all over you for this first offense.
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 11:47am PDT
Report AbuseMy husband cheated on me. Ways that he could've regained trust in our relationship would've been to be more open in communication and little things. eg. less secrecy. Maybe you could try to leave the phone where you boyfriend could see it and not on silent or hidden away, take phone calls in his company to show that that theres nothing to hide. Don't close your emails when he's around. Call him back if you had missed his call. be home or meet him when agreed upon. Involve him in activities. I'm not saying that he should babysit you, but let him know that you are accessable, are taking responsibility for your actions and that you want to improve your relationship. My husband did none of the above as he refused to end his affair. If only he did, his loss. I left him. Hope my suggestions help.
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 1:34pm PDT
Report AbuseWow. That's hard to smooth over. Why did you do it is the question you must conquer. If you needed someone else, he obviously isn't satisfying you in some area of the relationship. Do you two spend lots of time together? Is intimacy more than sex? Do you discuss issues and feelings? These are sensitive areas. I don't think you can suck up to him or buy him off. I do feel that if he cheats on you, he will feel that you deserve it. Two wrongs don't make a right. You have to let him decide if he the relationship is worth saving. And, you are not married! Take care of yourself and love you. No man can give you what comes from a healthy self image. Much Love to You Sweetie!
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Posted by Fri May 9, 2008 5:29pm PDT
Report AbuseI want to know, why would you risk losing his trust by sleeping with another man. If you're not ready to commit yourself faithfully then get out of the relationship. Women don't realize but unfaithful women make it hard for other innocent women to find a man to trust her, speaking from experience, I've been with my man faithfully for 4 years and still his insecurity kicks in and believes that I have somebody on the side in which I don't. He does'nt realize how much I care about him and love him that I would never consider a risk like that.
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Posted by Sat May 10, 2008 1:21pm PDT
Report AbuseYou are stupid for doing that. Thanks for giving the rest of us more to worrie about. Cheating is for the a---- MEN not us you idiot. You deserve to be dumped! Maybe next time you will keep your legs shut!
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