I had dated a guy for about four months and we broke up in
October of 2008. Well here recently we were trying to work things
out. We were doing the couples things and all. I figured we were
well on our way back to the way things they were. I had been
pushing for clarification on our status and I asked him to be
honest about whether he was seeing other people. He pretty much
told me that I was the only one he trusted and that there were
other women he was conversing with but had never done anything with
or even went out with. Recently, I have been having this nagging
feeling about another woman and I plainly asked him if there was
someone that he was interested more seriously than he and I. He
said no, this feeling got the best of me and one day when I went to
visit him I saw a suspicious e-mail address. I asked him about that
e-mail address and he gave me some BS response. I left him that
night thinking about that e-mail address. Two days went by and the
first thing I did when I got to work on that Monday morning was
send an e-mail to the suspicious e-mail address. The e-mail that I
sent read as follows :
I've been having this nagging feeling about someone I am
involved with. And your e-mail was on a sheet of paper that was in
plain sight in his home. I asked about it and I got a bull s---
reply, so I decided to investigate for myself. I just would
like to know your relation to Mr. ?????.
She replied. As a woman, I have been the other woman
myself so I know what the "other woman" would say.
And she said exactly what I have said in a previous situation:
That is something you need to speak to him about.
After getting that response I was infuriated and I wanted to know
the truth. Since he wouldn't tell me the truth, I knew that his
e-mail would. So I checked his e-mail and long behold pictures of
the "other woman," a hotel confirmation for her visit,
and her flight confirmation. I had all the information that I
needed to catch him in a lie.
He called me and asked me if I had contacted her, but in his
"lie" he called her a him and tried to tell me that it
was someone selling him a car. Either way, had lied and wasn't
interested in telling the truth. Why do men lie even when they know
that you know the truth?
But the real question is, should I have contacted the "other
woman?" And what would your response have been? Was I wrong?
Should I feel bad? I am so confused!
I contacted the OTHER WOMAN-- was I wrong?
user
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:59am PST
Report AbuseI WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING.....WHEN YOU HAVE THAT GUT FEELING SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GO WITH IT. MEN ARE ALL DOGS...IT JUST A MATTER OF GETTING THEM AT THE RIGHT AGE AND HOW MUCH TRAINING THEY HAVE...LOL
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:11am PST
Report AbuseYou had your suspicions and you acted on them. And now you know. He cannot be trusted under any circumstances and is quite the sincere liar. No, of course you should not feel bad. You deserve the truth. This guy was trying to burn his candle on both ends, and it was just a matter of time.
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:42am PST
Report Abuseu did just right he wasnt going to tell u the truth
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:44am PST
Report AbuseI suppose it's a bit of a gray area with regard to "right or wrong"... Things definitely worked out for the best, but it could have been an embarassing situation if you were wrong. But anywayz, don't sweat it--things worked out for the best in this case and you now know for a fact that this guy cannot be trusted... You can move on with your life without wasting any more time.
"Why do men lie even when they know that you know the truth?" - You say that as if all men do this, and as if women don't!! :) Hun, lots of people lie, both men AND women! There are a lot of dishonest and not-too-bright people out there of both genders, but don't lose hope... There are still good, honest people (like you and me) out there... ;)
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:13am PST
Report AbuseYou did the right thing for I have been there and the worst part is when I did it and caught him in the act he still lied about it and he got pissed and try turn it around as it was my fault men likethat are nothing but worthless I would just love to beat every man like that so they gat a little of how they made us feel.All females have that women intowishing and I always go by that and follow it to heart.
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:33am PST
Report AbuseYou did it right. Don't sweat it or regret it. Try and get some new goals. First on the list, Forget the Zero. Somewhere down the list and down the timeline, You can get with a Real Hero. Good luck to you.
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:09pm PST
Report AbuseThey always say when you look for something you find it. But he wouldn't of told you so you had to find out. Better now then later on down the road. I would of done the same
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:52pm PST
Report AbuseHELLO,
YES, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE PLAYED DUMB AND SEE HOW FAR HE WOULD GO. I BELIEVE IF THE OTHER WOMENS RESPONSE WAS TO ASK HIM, THEY SCREWING. BOTTOM LINE. AND YOU NEVER SAID YOU 2 WERE A COUPLE NO COUPLE MEANS NO COMMITMENT.
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Posted by Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:42pm PST
Report Abusehey mamas you did right by what you did no man will have the dick and say what they did but us woman feel when our mans are doing s--- wrong
if he loved you he would of told you the truth but were the ones who think they'll change and they dont
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Posted by Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:38am PST
Report AbuseHello to all, well I am in the same boat. But my man lives with me and I asked the other woman with was the deal? After asking him many times with the responce it is nothing, she is just the Fedex driver from work. Well then she said they were just friends, but guess what I said when her husband called to ask about my man. I told him to ask her about it. Well this is the best part, I recieved a text from her that she and my man had nothing. But then she also told me that my man didn't want to be with me. HELLO is this house a jail, I have no chains around him, if he doesn't want me why does he stay? I don't need some other married woman that wants a fling to come in and even after knowing that the man is in a relationship to keep chasing him and I would seem she only wanted to make problems. Now all that said he keeps telling me that they never even came close to sex, and the truth is all he does is go to work and come home, we spend all the time together when he doesn't work. So what should I believe??? I will say this if someone wants a person Male or Female and they see there is a other person in the way, well how far will they go to get rid of that person?? What lies will they say...
I am in a mess myself almost 2 years together and I doen't no what to believe.. But I do believe one thing he does love me, in his own way.
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