Love + Sex

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I lost my online BF?!

Ok so, he wasn't my boyfriend, but my best friend. I thought we'd be friends for forever. We'd talk for hours, I could tell him about anything about everything and vice versa. I could tell that feelings were over-reaching friendship and had started to hit the love target...and I was ready for it. But at the same time I was scared, I didn't know if he liked me the same.

Of course there was the flirting and hints from his side that said "hey, i like you" or even the direct "date me," but i didn't know if he joking or if he really knew what he was asking for. There was even jealousy between us when the other spoke about an interest in someone new. 

So where did it go wrong you ask? 

Well...I showed him my picture, then it was all over. I had set the last piece of my puzzle on the table and was left vulnerable. I knew I wasn't going to be what he expect...this perfect pretty girl or the type that he had always told me he was attracted to(brunette barbie), but I had hoped that he would like me for me...the same as before. I guess I also knew that things would change and be awkward between us after he saw me. He even went as far to say that I was "weird" (not weird looking lol but i guess in my actions) after showing him. I mean, I didn't change. And how am I suppose to act when I'm putting myself out there to be judged(not by a stranger but by someone I love). So now, it's over we don't talk to each other. I pushed the guy that really liked me away for him. I'm left alone as before and I don't have any one, not a best friend or a boyfriend. I don't know what to do with myself.

Any advice or comments? Do you have a similar story?

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Comments 1-2 of 2
  • arb63's Avatar
    Posted by arb63 Thu Jan 1, 2009 9:08am PST

    One thing that I'm not clear about is this: was all this online chatting supposed to be just "friendly" chat, or were you both hoping or thinking that it would lead to an actual relationship? If this were a pre-cursor to an actual, "offline" relationship, it was a big mistake to not share photos at the very beginning. If this was supposed to be just friendly chat, this guy apparently had other intentions and was not interested in being just friends (though it's odd that he did not ask for photos from the get-go...)

    Either way, it sucks and I'm sorry you experienced this. Obviously, you'll need to forget this @sswipe and move on. But perhaps there were some lessons learned... You should be clear as to both parties' "intentions" of the friendship, and if this involves being more than just online chat buddies, accurate photos should be exchanged immediately. You WILL find someone who "likes you for you", but you must realize that physical attraction will always be part of this equation, and this can not be "overlooked" by first establishing a friendship. Best of luck!

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  • Magic's Avatar
    Posted by Magic Thu Jan 1, 2009 11:46am PST

    I think you should move on. Any person unable to see beyond the outter beauty is not worth persuing!

    A physical attraction is a shallow attraction and will most likely disinegrate over time as the physical body change.

    Seek the beauty within!

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