Men are constantly trying to get to the point where they canface rejection while not letting it damage their overall happiness. And why shouldn't we? Dating is an endeavor that is laced withrejection. Look at how all the things thatmust go right:
I think you're cute.
You think I'm cute.
You are fun to talk to.
You think I am fun to talk to.
You are intelligent.
You have been tricked into thinking I'm intelligent.
You gave me your number.
I actually called you.
You actually called me back.
We set a date to go out.
We actually stuck to that date, and showed up.
We had fun on the date.
We still talked after the date.
We went out again.
I can stand being around you for long periods of time, andvice/versa.
Looks like a lot of steps there. With so many steps involved in the process,chances are low for success.
I need to get over the fear of being rejected for how I look. I'm so shallow thatI'd rather a girl think that I'm a good-looking jerk, than a nice uglyguy. If she says:
"I don't want to go out with you, but you're really hot," Ifeel like I've attained victory in some sense.
I know I'm stupid, tough to get along with, and difficult topredict. I'm also kind of vulgar and let words fly without thinking, and I have a tendency to upset girls without even trying to do so. So, I just assume agirl figured this out and decided not to take the plunge-and I'm fine withthat.
Well, what I told my friend was-I've gotten over trying tofigure out why a girl has rejected me. What I do now, is find the silver lining in rejection.
And what's that silver lining?
Here it all is:
I Get To Wake Up Alone
The idea of making out is fun-kissing, even cuddling. But that all ends when you pass out. Morning cuddling and makeout is OK, but forme the morning is the time when I need to get myself together and do things Iwant to do. A girl in my bed is nice,but it usually takes up at least half the day, and usually it's awkward.
I Save So Much Time
I've solved sexual frustration by simply masturbating. After I'm rejected, I can go home, imaginewhat was going to happen, or connect my porn drive, masturbate, and in a matterof minutes everything is taken care of. AndI get to wake up alone. My buddy and Ifigured, in five minutes of masturbation I can save about 14 hours of dealingwith the girl that would have been with me if she hadn't rejected me. That is a time savings of 13 hours and 55minutes. That leaves me free to work,futz around on my guitar, or watch history channel and read about Baltimoresports all day.
http://www.12fret.com/used/index.html
I Get to Keep Looking
Loneliness is the pits, but the right to look around andmeet different people is very nice. If agirl isn't into me, I won't end up dating her, and I will be free to keeplooking around and racking up rejection to my heart's content. A cabbie once told me that dating was sodifficult in New York because: "nomatter who you are dating, you will always see a more attractive woman everyday in this city." A depressing, yetinspiring statement.
Under this thinking, I've officially accomplished the featof balancing out success and failure. Sure, it would be great to go home with someone or date someonespecial. But, it's just as great to haveall of the three things above happen. Considering the fact that I've never really been in love or in a greatrelationship, I don't know what I'm missing when things don't work out.
The key to dealing with rejection is not looking ahead atwhat could be: "this girl is so great, the dates would be so fun, my parentswould love her," and so on...
Instead, just realize that it's not that bad if things don'twork out, that there will be more chances on the horizon, and at least thereare some good things about not succeeding. I guess it's just about staying even-keeled.
Have you had to deal with guys who don't take rejectionwell? Do you think my outlook ishealthy, or is it bad to assume that there is anything good about being turnedaway by a love interest-- could this bepart of the reason that I'm so lazy in my pursuit of love?
Posted by Rich
RELATED LINKS FROM MARIECLAIRE.COM
- 8 Ways I'm Like a Woman
- Language Lessons: How To Speak Male During A Breakup
- In Defense of First-Date Sex
- The Anti-Valentine's Day Survival Guide
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