Ok, here's the situation... I love my boyfriend of 10 months, but I feel like I'm losing respect for him. Why? Ok, I am 27, in grad school, have a house, a daughter, and have a fulltime career. He is 28, no degree, at home with mom, has a young daughter (she lives with her mom), and is working a job that does not allow for him to move out as he could not afford it. For the first time in my entire life I feel as though I am truly in love and am respected as a Queen, but I feel (outside if that) like I am settling! He is always at my house (with my daughter) because to be at his means watching a movie with his mom and younger sister. Recently he asked me to put him on my cell phone account as he has had issues with the company and could not afford an account under his name... I agreed. We discussed promise rings (he is talking marriage one day)-- I bought one for him and have already given it to him... 3 months later I'm still waiting on mine because he can't afford one now... I am in love with him, but fear he will not be able to take care of a family if we get married. We have discussed this; I let him know my concerns and he assures me that he can and will sustain a family with me once on his feet. He's a great guy, treats me well does what he can and is in love with me, but I am still not feeling 100% OK. Sometimes I feel as though I'm taking this "what he has and what he doesn't have" thing way too far, but, is love really all you need?????????????
I love him, but...
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:26pm PDT
Report Abuse- If this interrogation continues...
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your suppression system
could be permanently damaged!
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Tell me what I want to know!
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-Aren't you enjoying this, Commander?
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Have you imagined having me
in this chair many times?
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- That's not far from the truth.
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But after our rather
lengthy peace talks...
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I came to trust you.
-Then trust me now!
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00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:14,230
-You would never betray your people!
-I'm trying to save them!
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Where is your fleet?
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- Do you know the story of Nirak?
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- What?
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- He was a soldier
who lived a long time ago.
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He was standing watch
over the gates of the city of Gol...
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and he saw a cloud on the horizon
moving toward him.
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He thought it was a sandstorm,
so he told no one.
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It was an army.
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They destroyed the city,
but they let Nirak live.
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His name now means "fool"
in our language.
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Just as yours will in Andorian!
lol lol lol lol lol
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:44pm PDT
Report AbuseTo me,..it seems that you have fallen for something, that you "feel is love", that caught you in a weak moment of loneliness, in your life. The trouble with this situation has already begun. You have "assets to lose" He doesn't have that issue, therefore he can leave at any time, and leave you stuck with the bills. You decided to lean into his "lovin enriched sexual persona", and cave in, to by him "possesion rings", that mean only, that you want him more than he wants you. Now, you've given him "carte blanc" for anything more that he can pull out of you overtime. I know,..you don't believe that he could be like that. well,..all is behavior! You decided to "legally", put yourself in harms way with your "credit rating", even though he doesn't have a pot to piss in, and can't be hurt financially by his actual inability to pay his responsibilities, on your dime. Someone recently said, "If you give a mouse a cookie, he's gonna want milk next, then some cheese, then some more, an more, an more still..This is about what you are giving to the relationship because of a want, need, and desire to fix what isn't broken. "his ability to stand up and pull his financial weight. You are not broken, but if you keep on this path, you will end up surely "broke"!
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:46pm PDT
Report AbuseThey say that love is all you need, but in a serious relationship thats not always the case. Commitment problems are sometimes an issue. Im our hearts, as females, we all want to commit. Its almost like a dream when we fall in love, but not all the time does the male want to. They might say that they want to but really there just saying that to make you feel better about the situation just to cut the conversation short. There are signs you can look for to tell whether of not he really does want to commit. If man really wants to commit I can promise you he would do anything in his power to get you what you want. Wether its just a promise ring or even move in. Most men turn to the money issue to extend the issue to another time. I'm not trying to be a doctor or anything but I was in you situation myself, but i finally got tired of waiting after years of him saying he wants to commit and not ever doing anything. I finally told him that if he loved me he would commit like he told me he would or I'd leave him for lying to me and making me hang on this long. He went out and bought me a ring. He at first brought the money issue in for months and months but when I told him that I'd leave him he just turn right away from the not having any money to having money. Now im enaged and planing to get married next year in September, and our relationship together grew stronger than ever. He turned into a romantic guy that I knew when I first meet him and wants to make me happy andgive me everything that I want. This dosent work for everyone but it worked for me.
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 7:02pm PDT
Report Abuseleave that guy or your world become horible after marriage. Maybe its not about money, but sometimes it most to the responsible, respects, and its about egoes too. If u dare to face it, then everything is up to u............
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:23pm PDT
Report AbuseIf you really love him you will stay with him through thick and thin, and that what you doing. So give him sometime and see where it goes!!!!
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:45pm PDT
Report Abuselisten shorty love is a beautiful thing yet it,s also about sacrifice the best thing anyone can tell you is too follow your heart
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Posted by Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:20pm PDT
Report Abusehis not loving to you............prefer think en other people....you can be very happy ............of curse
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Posted by Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:37am PDT
Report Abusewell,hello. i know what u feel. money is important. trust me. but love,is everything.
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Posted by Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:17am PDT
Report AbuseI recently married the guy I was dating for 3 years. He has a job.. but because of child support..he brings home very little. I dont love him for his money.. obviously. (I DO make good money..and this has been an issue on occasion.) I can only tell you from MY own experience. I love my husband.. but sometimes he spends "my money" now what I mean by that is..he knows I have a good income..so he spends it like it is his. and thinks we can do allthis great things because we have this income. It took me awhile to decide if he was just hanging on..or if he really was in it for the love. Well. It was TRUE love. I broke my foot and had to be off work for 3 months. during that time we lived on HIS limited but helpful income..and he showed me the side of his character i might have never seen. I have had and lost jobs. and agree money is not what sustains you. BUT it CAN make you feel resentful I love my husband..but sometimes it is HARD knowing that anything we ever do..has to comeout of my pocket.. but besides that.. we have an awesome relationship..and when the money was NOT there. HE was. If you feel in your GUT that this is not the right one for you. and it sounds like you need someone on more even ground. get out before it gets too serious. It SUCKS to have to be the one to pay for it all.. love or no love. I am just fortunate to have found someone with a soul of gold..and even though he works full time for peanuts.. he goes to work EVERYDAY..and he is a great dad to his kids. THAT is why I love him. He never slacks.. he works to pay huis child support. as a single mom for years. i guess that is what won me over. I mean how can you not love a man that takes care of his children over himself. and yes. his children love me too!! Good luck!!
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Posted by Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:22am PDT
Report AbuseLuk,sometyms luv iz not oll u need in lyf! specially 4 a gal,respect stands before luv..i wud neva fall for a guy who doznt respect me well,n only true luv generates respect..before goin 4 him,make sure ur future iz not a sacrifice of ur ego n self respect! luv iz neva evrythg! TRUST ME!!
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