I sent my bf a break-up text msg plain and simple last night after
work. I texted him earlier saying i needed to talk to him but
he did not answer his call last night. I'm assuming he
went to sleep. But it was important that i needed to talk to
him but instead he went to sleep.
I just got back from my trip. I went on a trip with my bf and
our close gal friend. During the trip, i was paranoid the
whole time because my bf and my friend kept teasing each other what
seemed like flirting and talking to each other more than me.
It got to a point where i felt like a third wheel. I
kept my distance and my bf and i weren't even being
affectionate. If you read my earlier post, my friend is very
close with my bf. I actually met my gal friend through him.
I know for a fact that my gal friend is much easier to talk
to and has a bubblier personality compared to me. They just
seem to get along so well and i felt depressed that i can't be
like that to my bf. I couldn't stop being jealous of
their "relationship". I kept on thinking how
perfect it would be if they were together. My gal friend
tells my bf everything, they're like best friends. I know
that my gal friend has no interest in him. But i do think
that my bf has deep feelings for my friend whether he likes her
more than friends or not.
I felt that the trip made everything worse. Me and my bf
hardly communicated and had no affection towards each other.
I kept myself quiet during the trip and let myself go.
I eventually was a third wheel at the end of the trip.
When my bf would crack jokes, he would only look at her and
make conversation. I was just on the side listening to them.
I never tried to jump in on their conversation because i
didn't want to interrupt.
He didn't call me or reply to the text msg. I feel so
alone and i wish i never sent that text message before explaining
how i felt about the whole thing. Now i feel i hurt his
feelings and i'm afraid he'll never talk to me again.
If he cared about me, would he try calling me? Or
should i try to call him and work things out or are my actions too
late? I'm not sure if he wants to even work things out.
Maybe we aren't meant to be together. What kills me
is that i felt so comfortable being his girl and now i feel like
nothing. I didn't feel like i was his priority on the
trip. I felt like my friend was his priority. Maybe i
was overreacting? They ARE just good friends... I
don't know if i'm being too paranoid about this whole
situation. I feel so alone and afraid i'll never find the
"one". I don't know what to do and i hate this
feeling. I shouldn't but i kind of miss him...
i need help. jealousy issues and break-up.
user
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Comments 1-2 of 2
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Posted by Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:17pm PST
Report AbuseWow. First off, you messed up the trip for yourself and yourself only. Stop worrying about her relationship with him and him with hers because that's not the one that's in trouble. Your relationship was since the trip began due to you alienating yourself from both of them. You said yourself that she's easier to talk to yet you clammed up even more so that he only had her to talk to and you're wondering why you felt like a third wheel? Now, you really need to work on yourself if you can't talk to him and be normal with him, whether she's around or not. Then you go and fly off the handle and send him a break up text? I'm not sure why it was so urgent for you to do that but maybe if you talked to him in person (which is the respectful thing to do) you may have had a better result. If a girl sent me a break up text, I'd feel very disrespected and not want to have much to do with her. Maybe he's different than me and I hope he is for your sake. You sound like and seem like a nice girl but you really need to mature and deal with your insecurity or jealousy or whatever it is that has you like that. Also, think about it. If you're on a trip, you want to make the best of it and have a good time. That's the purpose of it. Not to mope and take yourself out of the picture because you are jealous of her personality. If anything she should motivate you to be the best that you can be. I'm sure if you had stopped being so self conscious you would've had a great time with both of them. Or you could've at least pulled him to the side during the trip and said hey, I feel left out or whatever and would like to spend some alone time with you. Help yourself in the relationship, don't hurt yourself. I'm not sure what to tell you about the situation between you and him but I wish you luck.
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Posted by Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:04pm PST
Report AbuseIm sorry but I am afraid you screwed the pootch on this one. I usually never agree with TJ but he has it right. If a girl ever broke up through text message, there would be 0% chance of any reconciliation. The least you could have done was break up with the guy in person. You can try to call but I doubt he will answer, but hey maybe he is different then me.
What you can do is learn from this. It sounds to me like you are not assertive enough. I dont know if it is lack of confidence or fear but that will haunt you in every relationship your in for life. It also may effect other things like your job. Im not telling you to yell and scream and make demands, but dont be afraid to stand up for yourself. I think that is what happened here, your guy and her were hanging out and you shutdown. Im not saying you are completely at fault because I am sure that it couldnt be to difficult for your bf to tell that somthing was bothering. However, as guys we can be thick...so its always better to just make your feelings known clearly and immediately
Comments 1-2 of 2
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