When I was a young girl I thought infidelity occurred when a spouse became physically intimate with someone other than their partner. In today's world, technology being what it is, what constitutes being unfaithful to your partner?
Does looking at pornography mean you've put someone else in the limelight of desire? What about participation in flirtateous chats; arousing our sexuality with someone other than our partner? We may as well include cybersex; web cams or a flurry of exchanged messages with strangers over the internet while we relieve pent up sexual tension. Does that constitute infidelity even though we are not physcially with another person? Adult web sites where married people can chat with other married people all looking for the same "forbidden" excitement. To the point of avatars you can create and interact with other avatars creating sexual situations. Is an emotional contact with a person of the opposite sex infidelity even if there is no physical contact?
The mind is a powerful object. I, myself, am in an internet relationship with a man I have not had physical connection with. The emotional contact, the interaction via technology, is real. My feelings are no different toward him than if I were physically with a man I was dating. The mind, truly, rules the body. Many times I have imagined myself with him delving deeper into a relationship.
More and more is written about people meeting over the internet leaving "real" relationships for the desire of the unknown. But when does it become infidelity? When you finally fulfill the fantasy? Or when you've become emotionally attached to another person; sharing your personal feelings?
If it is emotional, then there are many unfaithful partners in the world. Maybe it's when you hide your activity from your partner knowing you're in a gray area. Maybe it's when you know you are excited by the thought of chatting with someone else - someone unknown to your partner - your own little "secret".
Or is it OK to express your emotions to a stranger. Does it make your "real" relationship better? Just what is infidelity? Where do you draw the line?
Infidelity - What constitutes infidelity in today's world.
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From the Community…
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:23am PDT
Report AbuseThat's a tough one. I think everyone has their own version of what they believe infidelity is and how far it goes. I guess for me, if a myself and a guy are seeing each other, and he is constantly chatting online with another "girl" whom he shares fantasies and such, I would take that as an infidelity thing. Or, if he constantly looks at smut magazines and wishes I "looked liked them", then yes, I guess I would consider it so. I believe for myself that if a guy is with me, it should be only that, and not anyone else, not online, or offline. You'll probably get many opinions on this one.
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:27am PDT
Report AbuseIt's all infidelity....if you're solo then technology is a great way to meet others and do whatever. But attached? The internet has forever changed serious relationships and I think some women would be surprised to see what what their guys are doing at work.
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:28am PDT
Report AbuseFor me, i don't care if my b/f looks at porn, it's just a guy thing to get himself off when i'm not around. I do think any relationship with another person where there is an emotional or physical connection constitutes as infidelity. When you are in a relationship, you are supposed to depend on your partner for support, sexual and emotional fulfillment. If you're looking to someone else to meet your needs, then you're having an emotional/physical affair. Just my opinion.
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:29am PDT
Report Abusewhat a great question. I don't know the answer. But sometimes it is easier to be completely open and uninhibited with someone who is not sharing in your everyday trials and issues. I guess infidelity is different to different people. Emotions are too consuming to not be shared. Sexual flirting and relationships are meant to be experienced and enjoyed. So enjoy!
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 7:40am PDT
Report AbuseMy opinion is that looking at porn isnt infidelity, they arent going to be meeting these women or talking to them, but I do consider having a flirty conversation with someone one on one is a form of cheating, whether there be an emotional or physical connection, the porn or dirty pictures is safe because there is a distance between the person in them and the person looking, they wont be devolping any kind of bond, its just a man admiring a womans beauty in a way, of course its very sexual but still the connection between the two is not there. Its just his fantasy, similar to people that think a certain celebrity is hot. But if a man/woman is in a committed relationship they should not flirt via email, text, in person or be having any kind of emotional/physical friendship that is tempting , sexual. That is something that should be shared with the mate/lover.
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 8:18am PDT
Report AbuseAnything that you would not be comfortable doing in front of your partner or wouldn't want to share with them is infidelity.
Why is it that when two people say that they are "committed" to one another, that they will still try to keep parts of themselves secret and closed off from the other person?
Why, Angel, is it sometimes easier to "be completely open and unihibited" with a stranger than it is with your mate?
Your mate is supposed to be your best friend, the one person that you can go to without being afraid or ashamed. I think that unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who have no concept of what LOVE and COMMITMENT really are.
I am sad for them, they are truly missing out on one of the greatest things that life on this planet has to offer...
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Posted by Fri Oct 3, 2008 10:45am PDT
Report Abuseblackaciddevil, I don't know why, but maybe for those who find themselves in relationships that aren't all they could be, find it easier. I would love for my partner to be my best friend that I could tell everything. Instaead of being criticized and put down for having thoughts and opinions. Maybe someday I'll find that. I hope you have.
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Posted by Thu Oct 9, 2008 10:26am PDT
Report AbuseHello Well I have to completely AGREE with blackacidevil...anything that can not be done in front of your partner is infidelity !!!!!!!!!
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Posted by Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:46pm PDT
Report Abusei think that cybersex and chatting with someone in a flirtatious manner online IS cheating and it doesnt matter if they are not "physical" with them. the number one reason men cheat according to psychologist is for the emotional feel of it, not the physical, of course it can turn physical, but either way that is still cheating.....
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