Love + Sex

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Insecurities...How Do You Deal With Them?

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Insecurities.  How Do You Handle Them?

 

I had a long discussion with one of my co-workers yesterday about something that seemed to be bothering her.  This was after work over a few brews so she seemed to be at ease about relating some of these issues so I sat there and listened to her.  A few things jumped out at me and it made me think about women’s insecurities.  Some are very prevelant and others aren’t as much.  But after she shared some things with me, it got me to thinking about myself and my ex-gf from years ago.  We had a discussion very similar to the one I had yesterday and this is sort of how the conversation went.

 

Her: “OMG, I LOVE her thighs!  *smacks my leg while staring straight at the television*  She has some of the most beautiful legs I’ve ever seen!  I want legs just like her…”

 

Me: “I think your legs are just fine.  What’s not to like about them?”

 

*leans over and kisses me*

 

Her: “Thanks baby, but I want legs like a horse….wanna walk down the street and have cars just stopping from everywhere. 

 

*laughing ensues*

 

Me: “Why does everyone else have to see your legs and think you’re hot?  I think you’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met, and I’m not just saying that.  I like them just fine baby.”

 

Her: “Aw Charlieeeeee!  You’re so sweet!  But seriously…I do want legs like her.”

 

*funny look pops up on my face while she smirks*

 

Now the conversation from yesterday went something like this:

 

Her: “OMG it seems like all you guys are frickin insane!!  I am so over my bf…frickin drives me nuts!  If he doesn’t want me, then I’m going BACK on the market!  I mean look at me!  Who wouldn’t want all of this sexiness.  I mean, come on CB, I’m oozing with it right?”

 

*I laugh heartily*

 

He: “Girl, you’re crazy!  But honestly, you have very nice features and you’re sexy and fun.  You have what I like to call a sexy cuteness about you.”

 

Her: “Oh yeah?  Wanna be my boyfriend?  Just kidding dude.  So, if you were just some random guy, never saw me before, what would you like about me the most?  Come on man, tell me.  I gotta know.”

 

Me: “Well, for starters… *I look over her face in a joking manner* …you have a very nice face…nice cheekbones, sexy full lips, and I LOVE your nose.”

 

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!

Ok, you would have thought I called her a fat pig the way she reacted to this one.

 

Her: “My nose?  My nose?  My NOSE?!?!  Ewwwww man! I HATE my nose!  I swear if I could afford plastic surgery it’s the FIRST thing I’d change!  Ewwwww!  What about my nose do you like?  *starts grabbing her nose as if it’s about to fall off*  I mean look at this hump!  See it?  It’s hideous…I can’t stand my nose.  You give me $30,000 and I’m changing SO much about this face of mine.  My nose?  Are you trying to be funny dude?”

 

Ladies, do you shoot down guys when they compliment you but it’s something about yourself you don’t like?  Has it ever ruined your chance to hook up with an awesome guy?  The funny thing about it, this girl is Venezuelan, very attractive and shapely.  And I honestly do love noses.  I think they are so cute and some girls have noses that make me literally fall in love with just…her nose…while I’m staring at the cuddle button…as I call them…heh heh.  Like, who doesn’t like rubbing noses when you dig the girl?  But yeah, let’s talk about this shall we?  Insecurities anyone?  I know I have mine.

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-8 of 8
  • Lucy's Avatar
    Posted by Lucy Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:12am PDT

    I am so insecure about my appearance. I am dating a guy right now who thinks I am beautiful( he is out of his mind) but it is so hard for me when he says I am beautiful not to argue with him. We actaully had this conversation and he said he doesnt want to hear negativity. He said I think your beautiful and I am physically attracted to you so dont argue with me. I have to bite my tongue becuase it is so hard to just take a compliment and not argue.

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  • ~K~'s Avatar
    Posted by ~K~ Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:46am PDT

    I have come to love compliments. There's not any one thing about my body that I just absolutely hate, nor is there one thing that I absolutely love. I would much rather take a compliment than make myself look insecure or like I'm just digging for more compliments. There are tons of girl friends of mine that will ask 20 million times if they look ok after I've already told them they look awesome. I'm one of those throw clothes on and go kind of girls. I dress for myself and I happen to know what looks good or bad on me. There's really no need to ask anybody else.

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:40am PDT

    We all like compliments, I think. It's nice to be noticed, and I like cat calls from construction workers. No problems with that at all..but I don't feed off compliments and certainly don't fish for them. I look fine and feel fine. Like " K " (above), I dress for me. Makes no difference what others find fashionable.

    No insecurities.

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  • SolsticeAngel's Avatar
    Posted by SolsticeAngel Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:21pm PDT

    If a man were to compliment me on something about myself where I feel could use improvement(I won't use the word HATE because I don't hate my body if I did there would be no point to living in it anylonger)I would just accept the compliment and say thank you. It sounds to me like she was fishing for the compliments and that just screams insecure! There was no reason for her to be so rude about it! There is no reason to shoot someone down for their preferences, even if you don't share them!

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  • DimplesDee's Avatar
    Posted by DimplesDee Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:54pm PDT

    Everyone has their own insecurities. And usually it s something that someone else seems to like about you. I have learned in my years to just take a compliment. I don't know about any other women but I just love to get compliments in any shape or form. Even if its something that I don't agree with. I also have to admit that I am pretty happy with myself (everything but my feet, thank God for pedicures). So may say that I am to thick for them or I could stand to lose a few pounds, but to me its all beatiful. This what people, women and men need to learn. Just be happy with yourself and learn to love what God gave you or didn't give you.

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  • DimplesDee's Avatar
    Posted by DimplesDee Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:04am PDT

    E-mail me and I'll send you one MykellDeeonna@yahoo.com

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  • Kate's Avatar
    Posted by Kate Sun Jul 20, 2008 11:19pm PDT

    I used to say "whatever" when someone complimented me, but someone made a good point a few years ago...When I said "whatever" it was like I was discounting the things the person said. Since then I've learned to say thank you and realize someone doesn't compliment me unless they want to.

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  • IRISH's Avatar
    Posted by IRISH Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:31am PDT

    Amen!!! At this point in my life,I take all the compliments I can get and heartily thank you. OK,I have always delighted in compliments--because i don't do anything to get them. I don't wear make-up,have a body with very small breasts,no boody and a tummy from 6 kids. So now,at 70 yrs.old, people look at my face and when they compliment me on looking good,i love it. When there are things about your body you don't like,you can sob over it or make it a joke. I prefer the joke,remember "cry and you cry alone,laugh and the world laughs with you. By the way, I love your blogs-- everyone of them are thought provoking. Keep on blogging and I can't wait for the next one.

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