Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Is He Cheating On Me?

 

People often say, there are signs everywhere. Especially when it comes to your significant other cheating. I'm in a situation right now, where I just don't know!!! The feeling in my heart is that he IS though. I'm sooo frustrated and very determined to get to the bottom of it!
I've been feeling like this for about a month and a half now. I just can't seem to find anything on him!! But, I know when something is JUST NOT RIGHT! It's his behavior. Lately, he's been coming in the house later and later. I said something about that before and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. We both work and he goes to school full time, so we barely spend time together. We don't live together but we've been together for  over 5 years. We aren't even engaged! Nothing! The only thing we do is see each other BARELY! So, when I said somehing about coming over late, he claimed he works out at home. Now, all of a sudden he works out!! Really! Spare me! A few times, he came in at 4AM!! Anyway, i gave him the benefit of the doubt. I just stopped asking. Then, a few weeks later, he starts going to the bar directly after work. Without me! He didn't call to tell me or anything. I just so happened the smell the alcohol on his breath! He never goes to the bar RIGHT after work without going home first. Could it be someone at work??!! Who really knows!
After all the signs that point to cheating, I decided to do some PI work!! I couldn't resist the urge to find the truth. So, the first night I "stalked" him I sat a few houses down from where he lives, and he never came home. That's how I found out about him going to the bar right after work. Earlier in the day I told him I was going out. That way I could follow him and see what he did when I wasn't around. So, that night was semi-succcessful. I didn't find what bar he was at though. When he finally got to my house I was already there. The next night, I said I was going out with my girlfriends cause we "didn't go the previous night". 
This night, I was absolutely determined to find him. So, I pulled a psycho move and posted in a parking area close to his job so I could see his car and where he went. Luckily, I get off 1/2 before him, so I had time get there. I'm NOT CRAZY, by the way! LOL! Seriously, I had to know!! Anyway, he took all day getting off. I began to grow impatient. I called when I was outside to see if he'd lie about anything. Nothing. So, finally, he comes out. I'm not sure if he spotted me or not, because it seemed like when he pulled out and passed my hiding place, he sped off!! DAMN!! I'd lost him. So, I went and sat in the same driveway I did the night before. Nothing. Something told me to go to the bar down the street fom his house. VIOLA!! Found him! When I surprised him, he was coming out. He looked shocked and I looked pleased. No one was with him. We ended up going back in bar and having a drink. 
That may have been a fluke! The way I feel is not right. Something is picking at me!!! I know something isn't right!he doesn't give me ANY attention anymore and he's so distant. Maybe he's just falling out out love with me. Everytime we have an opportunity to spend time together, he ALWAYS has something to do. Prime example. He didn't have school one day and I work second shift. We had the entire morning to be together. As soon as I got back from dropping my son at school, he wakes up and has to get his tires rotated. Like seriously, come on. No appointment or anything. And he had the next day off work! But get this, his day off work was my day off too. The last time that happened, he all of a sudden wanted to work OT! So, this time he wanted to go to school at night too!!! WTF!!!??? Like I said, something's not right. All I have to say is, what's in the dark, will come to the light. And that's gonna be the light under his A** if anything is up! 
Thanks for listening!!! And please feel free to give me some advice. Cause I need someone to HEEELP!! Am I going crazy?? Or do I have legitamate concerns??


Read some of my other blogs at www.emansmommy.blogspot.com

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Comments 1-10 of 48
  • vixenvena's Avatar
    Posted by vixenvena Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:34pm PST

    You seem awfully needy in this relationship. Maybe he is cheating, maybe he isn't. Either way, you don't trust him anymore. It's gone down an unhealthy path and it's probably time for you to move on. Let him go and work on your issues. Relationships shouldn't be like your crazy one.

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  • justokay's Avatar
    Posted by justokay Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:52pm PST

    You need to do the opposite of what you want to do. Start ignoring him, don't call, play hard to get, be unavailable. This will work in 2 ways. One, if nothing is wrong and he is just being in his man cave, then you will find other things to occupy your time. (Yes it will be very hard, and you will go crazy). Two, if he is losing interest, then it will help you gradually move away to someone who wants you. All of this is going to be hard, but do it. This relationship can not be one way - his way - you are unhappy. Good luck.

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  • Becky's Avatar
    Posted by Becky Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:54pm PST

    Yea, he has something else going on.... Even and this is gonna hurt, if he doesn't have someone else. He's not that into you. If you are needing a relationship better look somewhere else.

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  • DANIELLE's Avatar
    Posted by DANIELLE Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:54pm PST

    Why would it be needy to want to spend time with my man? Didn't you read the blog. WE DON"T SEE EACH OTHER!! EVER! You obviously don't have one. Or don't care about him

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  • DANIELLE's Avatar
    Posted by DANIELLE Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:07pm PST

    Thanks for all the advice ladies. Except angry VIXEN there. Anyway, that's my plan to start ignoring him. I told him today how I was feeling and told him that I'm done taling about it and if I should find someone who treats me better then I'm leaving him. I'm very honest with him and I will do it.

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  • liliflowers's Avatar
    Posted by liliflowers Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:11pm PST

    He doesn't want to be with you any more. Maybe he just isn't mature enough to tell you. Get rid of him.

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  • Karen's Avatar
    Posted by Karen Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:11pm PST

    i didn't go as far as you, but i suspected my fiance of lying and cheating. i eventually got him to confess. i forgave and he promised not to do it again ... but history repeated itself. i'm now in the process of recovering. you are worthy of a man being honest and faithful to you. when enough is enough you will know it and then you can move on and heal. be strong!!!

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  • DANIELLE's Avatar
    Posted by DANIELLE Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:22pm PST

    Sorry Nicole. I perfer not to be a H**. Or catch a VD. I'll get a grip and you get some condoms, honey.

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  • ERICA's Avatar
    Posted by ERICA Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:24pm PST

    I know how you're feeling. I've been there. What I have learned is that you create your own reality. If you look for dirt you're bound to find it. And the more you tell yourself something, the more you'll believe it. Sounds to me like you two are just in a rut, and you need to let it blow over. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, but if you keep up what you are doing, it probably won't work out. You need to trust him. The fact that you found him at the bar and nobody was with him should put you at ease. Just let things flow and stop the paranoia!

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  • ERICA's Avatar
    Posted by ERICA Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:53pm PST

    You need God in your life Nicole.

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Comments 1-10 of 48

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