Love + Sex

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Is he leading a double life?

Getty Images

Getty Images


Anne Hathaway seems like your typical good girl, right? Unlike many stars her age, she's never been to Promises, and you never read about her spitting at photographers or passing out at nightclubs. Still, fans were shocked when she broke up with longtime boyfriend Raffaelo Follieri, and for good reason: According to Reuters, her 29 year old new ex has recently been charged with conspiracy, wire fraud and money laundering, and "accused of of operating a scheme in which he led investors to believe that he had close connections with the Vatican that enabled him to buy the Catholic Church's unwanted U.S. real estate properties at a discount, according to federal prosecutors and the FBI." Yikes!

Anne and Raffaelo (Evan Agostini/Getty Images)

Anne and Raffaelo (Evan Agostini/Getty Images)


While Anne presumably may have been aware of some of Follieri's shady business dealings, she was mostly in the dark until these revelations rose to the surface. Regardless of her involvement, this reminds me of a story I heard that a friend of a friend recently separated from her partner when she discovered that he was not only dealing drugs behind her back, he was having multiple gay affairs as well. She had lived with this man for years and trusted him, so this discovery was, understandably, a great shock.


Apparently, even though Hathaway knew she had to move on, she is still quite distressed about the breakup, as most of us would be. I feel for her, and wonder: When you discover that someone you love is leading a double life, can you ever forgive them, or is it always a deal breaker?
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Comments 1-10 of 65
  • Fly Bohemian's Avatar
    Posted by Fly Bohemian Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:26pm PDT

    always a deal breaker. something important is warped upstairs. for this person, lies of omission are commonplace and lies to ease the truth feel natural. lying isn't even lying anymore- it's a perception that the person is entitled to. no can do!

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  • Gothic77's Avatar
    Posted by Gothic77 Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:17pm PDT

    I think it is too. If he ain't got the balls to do whats right then let him go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Inky's Avatar
    Posted by Inky Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:04pm PDT

    Deal breaker, all the way. What else have they been lying to you about? Not worth the heartache.

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  • kitty's Avatar
    Posted by kitty Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:06pm PDT

    always a deal breaker..how do you know if that's it for the lies and what if you get in the middle of it somehow. You'll not only be hurting over the loss of a partner but you will also be dealing with the problems they got you into

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  • BeachLvr's Avatar
    Posted by BeachLvr Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:11pm PDT

    Definitely a deal breaker. I wouldn't trust him about anything. Plus way too much stress to deal with to stick by with all that evidence stacked against him. Maybe he believes his own lies . . .I don't think there's any rehabilitation for one of these (Hathaway's ex)...

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  • MrzZ KaThii's Avatar
    Posted by MrzZ KaThii Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:31pm PDT

    o yea a deal breaker... most deff.. dont trust him hes makeing a big mistake. plus way to much stress for you to put up with.

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  • jac's Avatar
    Posted by jac Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:16pm PDT

    Even if the first guy was involved in criminal activity and the second mentioned fellow was gay; not only is it a deal breaker but dangerous as well. What if some criminal activity erupted with violence and you are caught in the middle or even charged as an accessory? If the guy is gay what about germs like HIV, herpes?

    A man living a double life is just fooling himself. He believes his own lies, they become the truth. It's the severity of the double life he is living that should also be considered. Would you think a man with a passion for porn is discovered with "girlie" magazines under his bed living a double life? Or the guy who smokes pot is found out with a couple of plants growing in his kitchen living a double life? The man in the dance, so dashing and cute with an air of confidence is really a pious, God fearing man who acts tough to blend in, is he living a double life?

    The guy who is right now cheating on his wife and then lying to her face is living a double life. He believes his own lies, too. The guy who is scamming someone right now is living a double life. The kid going through your jewelery box is living a double life. Your best friend who is secretly lusting after your man is living a double life.

    Watch out for guys (and woman) who live a double life. The cannot see the truth because everything is a lie.

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  • latinaonicekh's Avatar
    Posted by latinaonicekh Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:12pm PDT

    yeah i have no idea what the heck is going on with all the couples nowadays!! u know what i kinna think there all better off alone living single lives untill there career is done dat way we dont have to listen to all da bull ----- and they dont have to get bothered and the can just do there jobs!! and frankly nobody really cares about there relationship wether it works out good or not when people are to busy trying to keep there relationship going..

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  • sorry's Avatar
    Posted by sorry Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:17am PDT

    I believe if your in love with this man and he is willing to move on in life with you and your willing to put all his mistakes behind you then , why not and give it a try ,you only live once and go with what is in your heart , cause when you are alone it sucks, and no one is there to make you feel the way you did when you were together, who knows it could be a relationship to last forever, good luck

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  • Amy Ann's Avatar
    Posted by Amy Ann Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:07am PDT

    It's very hard to forgive in these situations. My sister recently left her husband due to his "double life" of drugs, emptying all of their accounts, affair, and the lie that he was pursuing a master's degree. It was very hurtful to her, her children and even the rest of our family. When you find out the person you are supposed to be able to trust is lying in every aspect of their and your life, it can be unforgivable.

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