Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Is it ok for a woman to hit a man?

Woman slapping man - Credit: iStockPhoto.com

Woman slapping man - Credit: iStockPhoto.com


A very old television show features a husband and wife taking a stroll along the beach.

Out of nowhere a beautiful young woman darts past them wearing a very skimpy bathing suit. The husband smiles and stares at her bottom as it disappears into the ocean. When he turns towards his wife she slaps him across the face.

(Queue the laugh track)

If the same scene were done in reverse with the wife staring at a young stud and her angry husband slapped her across the face there would be no laugh track.

There’s a very popular scene in the movie “Moonstruck” where Nicolas Cage using  puppy dog eyes professes his love to Cher who happens to be engaged to his brother.

Cher slaps him across the face and says, “Snap out of it!”

The movie theatre erupts with laughter!

If Nicholas Cage had slapped her back it’s doubtful the scene would have generated the same level of laughter.

Hollywood and our society in general appear to be saying,

If a woman hits a man it’s a comedy.

If a man hits a woman it’s a tragedy.

This double standard not only exists in the entertainment world but also in news events.
 

When Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband’s penis and drove off eventually throwing his penis out the window on the side of the road…..The late night comedians had joke material for months!
(No one remembers that her husband was acquitted of sexually assaulting her).

Had John cut off one of Lorena’s breast and threw it out of the window my guess is there would not have been as many jokes about that.

During the mid 1970s R&B legend Al Green was taking a bath when a woman he was having a relationship with walked in and tossed a pot of hot grits on his back. The jokes went on for several weeks! In fact some people still jokingly refer to him as Al Grits!

Most recently we have the Tiger Woods story. There is speculation that the cause of his car accident is him being chased by his angry wife which happened to be swinging a golf club at him.                           According to reports he cheated on her.

If the circumstances were reversed "no one would feel a man is ever justified in swinging a golf club at his wife!"

If Elin Nordegren had been found semi concious laying in the street with cuts and blood odds are she would have reported the Domestic Abuse or the police would have taken matters into their own hands and arrested Tiger Woods after he told them a story full of holes.

Once again when a woman runs from a violent man it's scary!
When a man runs from a violent woman it's funny!

Click on the following link to see where I'm coming from.

http://www.purple-twinkie.com/image-gallery/tiger-woods-holiday-photo.html

Not only is violence by women against men taken lightly so are their sex crimes.

In recent years there appears to have been an increased number of female teachers having sex with teenage boys. In one such instance Jay Leno remarked on “The Tonight Show”
“Where were these teachers when I was in school?” Laughter filled the room.

Needless to say if a 35-year-old male teacher were arrested for having sex with a 14-year-old girl student very few jokes would be told. 

The Chris Brown and Rihanna domestic violence story still remains a hot topic nine months later. Time and time again I have heard various television hosts and radio talk show hosts along with their audiences state the following.....

A man should never put his hands on a woman.”

There is no reason a man should ever hit a woman

If a woman hits a man he should walk away"

Maybe it’s a little unrealistic though to expect a man not to hit a woman back simply because she is a woman.

Police officers, military, and security professionals who are trained to remain calm and to ascertain a situation before taking action often times lose their temper in hostile situations.

Odds are those of us without this type of training would have a more difficult time resisting the urge to strike back.  

Retaliation seems to be a natural instinct throughout nature.

I for one would never walk up to a grizzly bear and slap him across the face expecting him to simply walk away. Picking a fight with someone or something bigger than you may not be a smart thing to do.  

Maybe it’s the person who has the urge to hit someone should be the person that thinks first and walk away

I am certain most of us would agree domestic violence is truly a horrible thing.

However I think the “anti-hitting sermons” should be applied to both men and women.

No one (male or female) in any relationship deserves to be hit.

This applies not only to heterosexual couples but gay and lesbian couples as well.  

A recent article contained some surprising information regarding Domestic Violence. 

The most recent large-scale study of DV was conducted by Center for Disease Control and Prevention researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health.

The study, which surveyed 11,000 men and women, found that according to both men's and women's accounts, 50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties).

(In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike.) 

Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time.”

DV researcher Deborah Capaldi, Ph.D., a social scientist at the Oregon Social Learning Center, told the conference that the most dangerous DV scenario for women is that of reciprocal violence, particularly if that violence is initiated by women.

The best way for many women to be safe is to not initiate violence against their male partners. "

The following link contains more details about the study mentioned above along with one man’s personal story.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/article.aspx?cp-documentid=20968901  


It’s been said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right” but it’s also true that
“One wrong does not make a right either.”

Other than self defense no one should be hitting anyone!
A woman has about as much right to hit a man, as a man has to hit a woman.  

Whether you are a man or a woman if you are being hit or verbally abused by your mate…. etc
I would say to you “Don’t just walk out of the room. Walk out of their life.”  

Life is too short!

    







Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 170
  • Mrs. Carol B's Avatar
    Posted by Mrs. Carol B Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:21am PST

    Only if she wants to get hit back.

    Report Abuse
  • Donna's Avatar
    Posted by Donna Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:27am PST

    No, if a woman ever needs to hit a man, she needs to run for her life instead!

    Report Abuse
  • jobena's Avatar
    Posted by jobena Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:48am PST

    If a women hits a man first then she deserves to get hit back, and if he hits me first you can bet I'm going to hit back and hit back hard.

    Report Abuse
  • Sri T's Avatar
    Posted by Sri T Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:49am PST

    Hitting a person is childish. It is a sign than one cannot cope with the situation. Some people are wired to respond to ego threats with violence. It is an unfortunate thing. There are others who have the "bully" mentality. What to do? First, if a relationship is already physically violent, its time to part ways. Make a plan, then leave. If it is verbally abusive, you must decide if it is worth continuing the relationship. No one has to put up with being mistreated by anyone. You must weigh your options and make the wise decision.

    Report Abuse
  • dolphin™'s Avatar
    Posted by dolphin™ Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:54am PST

    Dashing,

    This is a really an eye opening post.

    The Bobbit paragraph, That was a seriously bad relationship on both parts. Yet the jokes today still are around,

    Absoulutly correct if he had taken her breast a whole different scene on the jokes thing {none}.

    Many a time I had been abused, and understand the consequences of abuse.

    Did not retaliate with violence but learned to get out of it.

    It is Not OK to srike another Human with words,Actions or in a physical violent manner.

    With the articles you've posted on just the celebrity situations,

    It's a Travesty to the Real situations Men and Women endure daily of abuse that is an unseen issue.

    Also that in some areas of society most controlling abuse is an

    acceptable occurance.

    Being male or female

    Report Abuse
  • *Simply D-Liteful*'s Avatar
    Posted by *Simply D-Liteful* Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:05am PST

    i was taught if u old enough to hit me u old enough to get hit back..point blank period...

    Report Abuse
  • hello n's Avatar
    Posted by hello n Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:14am PST

    The only reason why *males* that see a woman get hit by a man ever interfear are mainly hoping to get something in return for *helping* this *said* woman, and the prettier the woman is the more likely she will be helped and looked at more as a victim even if she was the one that started the whole ordeal Physically/Mentally.

    I have seen this too many time growing up.

    Report Abuse
  • hello n's Avatar
    Posted by hello n Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:18am PST

    If a woman just does a simple Smack, that's nothing. If a woman thinks she can go rocky balboa on a guy and doesn't expect any backfire, she's going to have a Rude awakening with most guys in todays' time.

    Report Abuse
  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:02am PST

    ANY type of physical abuse with intent to harm is wrong regardless of which sex is doing the striking.

    Report Abuse
  • Scott and Brandy's Avatar
    Posted by Scott and Brandy Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:18am PST

    Hitting is not allowed by either partner. The only reason a woman should slap, hit, kick or claw a man is if he is trying to rape her. If its to the point you want to hit the other person, you need to remove your self from the situation. Even if that means calling the law on yourself...

    Report Abuse
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