Is it possible that blaming God for our singlehood is a clear sign that we NEED to be single right now?

If you’re single and longing to be in a relationship with someone, have you ever thought to yourself that maybe God wants you to be single, at least just for now?

If you’ve had a series of failed relationships while thinking you were giving each relationship a sincere and genuine effort, have you thought to yourself that maybe God didn’t want those relationships to last?

I see these questions being asked every now and then in “group” forums and I’m sometimes left feeling that too many people are displacing blame for their singlehood onto their image God. But when a person displaces blame like this, is it really any wonder why they’re single in the first place?

Since my divorce in 2005, I’ve come to believe that we’re all intended to exercise our free will and I think that many people have mistakenly accepted the word “Single” as a harsh label that represents their circumstances when it might ultimately be an opportunity.

I would have never considered my ex wife’s infidelity and my (then) pending singlehood as an “Opportunity” four years ago, but in seeing where I’ve been versus where I’m going, I think this opportunity has put me in line with the direction in life that I’m purposed for. In keeping a positive attitude, I find that I believe it’s within this direction I’m taking that I’ll connect with a woman with whom I’m truly compatible with for a long term successful intimate relationship.

I believe the caliber of our patience is one of the many things that’s put to the test throughout our lives and if we can genuinely pass that test, then unexpected rewards may very well await us. This point in particular very much reminds me of a song by Garth Brooks titled Unanswered Prayers.

So to those people, who regularly displace blame for their singlehood onto God, I ask you, is it possible that God is intentionally NOT answering your prayers because until you’ve come to grips with your true purpose in life, you’re not even ready to be in a relationship yet anyways? Is it possible that God’s way of protecting you is BY keeping you single?

Let’s take a closer look at this displacement that I’m speaking of. Dictionary.com defines displacement as follows:

A psychological defense mechanism in which there is an unconscious shift of emotions, affect, or desires from the original object to a more acceptable or immediate substitute. A defense mechanism that transfers affect or reaction from the original object to some more acceptable one.

Ask yourself, why would someone make a conscious choice to displace their blame of their singlehood onto God? If I’m not mistaken, we’re ultimately “single” simply because we choose to be. Let’s face it, one could drop their standards and/or criteria a little and “Settle”, right? Ok, it’s relatively cliché now that the concept of “Settling” isn’t very healthy, but if having “any” partner is so important to someone; they “could” just swing by the local pub and pick up a barfly for some quick company.

Perhaps “Settling” has absolutely nothing to do with it at all?

Let’s consider another perspective on why it might be so hard for some people to take ownership of their singlehood. Is it possible that deep down inside, such an individual knows they’re not really relationship-material for whatever reasons, but it’s because of the brutal nature of such reasons that causes them to displace their blame accordingly? I’ll give you just one example because I’m not trying to write a whole book here.

Supposing someone has suffered a very painful and heart wrenching separation with their prior partner and they’re carrying a lot of emotional pain (aka “Excess Baggage”) with them. Is it possible that such a person now regards love in equality with the pain that they’re harboring? Is it possible that these negative energies contained within them are ultimately acting like some kind of repellent that prevents connectable people from entering into their lives?

Is it possible that blaming God for our singlehood is a clear sign that we NEED to be single right now?

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn