Is Lust More Important Than Emotional Stability?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Holly J Mon Feb 9, 2009 8:38pm PST

  You need it all. You need the lust, love, compatibility. Lust is what sets the fire off, but compatibility and love is really what keeps the firing burning. Its silly to think all of these are not important ingredients in a relationship.

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  Posted by Shel Mon Feb 9, 2009 9:27pm PST

  I don't believe anyone needs someone else to tell them what they need in a relationship. That is one thing you should know for yourself. If you can take a look inside yourself, trust yourself,and love yourself.You should be to figure it out.

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  Posted by o Mon Feb 9, 2009 9:35pm PST

  That's the reason divorce rates are climbing!

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  Posted by A Carmy of One Mon Feb 9, 2009 11:49pm PST

  So listen... too many women THESE DAYS are in relationships where the sex is simply mediocre AT BEST, and that's pretty sad. They are with a guy because he's a "good guy" a "nice guy", "makes money" and he "wants kids." BLAH!!! Every single woman deserves the chance for passion and to find that guy that she truly has the hots for, and has the hots for her back.

  All you people are talking about how marriage has to be a "decision" a "contract" an "agreement." HELLO!!!! When people get married to the "right person" for the "right reasons," THAT IS WHEN PEOPLE CHEAT ON THEIR SPOUSES. Why on earth would you marry someone who you have o.k. sex with and then end up cheating on your spouse to get that fire and passion back in your life. I mean, it's ridiculous.

  Personally, I want a guy who I can talk to and never get bored, who has his s--- together, who won't hit me, and makes me H0RNY EACH AND EVERY TIME HE WALKS IN THE ROOM! That's it. It's not too much to ask, and I will find him!

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  Posted by Rae Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:36am PST

  doodr: What? What else are we supposed to be other than ourselves? How about you get over YOURSELF. That might make room for others.

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  Posted by open2opine Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:34pm PST

  Who needs marriage? If the relationship is good - keep it. I don't "need" anything from a man, but I sure WANT a lot from one and that includes lust and romance as well as the financially sound and intelligence. The "lady on the street" "freak in the bed" works well for gals too - but I want a man of course.

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  Posted by JJ7 Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:37am PST

  Why should it have to be "either/or"?? Having a bipolar spouse whose mercurial temper causes her to rip into me for no and any reason and go on rages for hours and sometimes days did NOT contribute to my desire for her and pretty much killed the relationship. Passionate LOVE was rare there. On the other hand, the most consistently passionate (in a positive way) relationships I've had were with ones whose love and supportiveness were most consistent... that's my kind of emotional stability.

  Passion and "emotional stability" can be synergistic, not antagonistic. And if marriage is simply a "financial arrangement", someone is a prostitute. Maybe both of you. I know that without positive passion in my marriage, I felt like a walking paycheck, period.

  "Lust" in the Judeo-Christian scripture is actual ANY WRONG desire whether for the wrong sex partner or the wrong financial trick or the wrong wish to harm someone. Desire for physical, passionate, sexual love is an inborn human need. It can be used in a wrong hurtful way, but it is not wrong. In fact, according to the Eden story, it was a loving Creator's first gift to humanity.

  If your relationship lacks passion ("lust" if you must), maybe you need to feed the love... every day... in a consistent, stable way. Then when you want to play, the desire and the trust will be there to allow you both to let loose, experiment with wildness, feel that pang of excitement in your gut. Or wherever.

  Or, like the fox saying the grapes he couldn't reach were probably sour anyway, you can say, "Oh we don't need that anymore... that's immature..." or whatever other BS excuse you want. Your choice.

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  Posted by JenniferI Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:00am PST

  Not everyones ideals about what they want is courpted just yet but many are. Notice they do not say all 20 year olds, since that itself would be a lie. But yes now days alot of people around my age are still like kids, trying to party and live life out and not wanting to settle down but make mistakes and learn from them, that and the ones who are blinded by what they really want. I myself am 21 and married, but my married isn't based off the sex, yes our love makens good but me and my husband complete each other. Have a more mature relationship thats bound to last a life time. Since were both kind of old timey on it. I was raised that way and do not believe in devorce unless cheated on. In which case i am not worried about. Me and my husband are both open and honost about how were feeling and whats on our minds. We have no intrest in others. With all the marriage problems now days. Least some of us are wise enough to be careful about who we do marry and be sure of it. That its not for stupid reasons, but because we really are like one with the other person, understand each other to a point.

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  Posted by twentytwenty Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:19am PST

  physical attraction is important, but guess what if the only thing you base your relationship on is lust (or physical attraction), there is a 95% chance that you'e in for e rude awakening down the road, when you recognize that when you;re not having sex with the person, you can't stand to be around them. and quite frankly if you're with a "good" guy or girl who you say you love and sexually they aren't fulfillig you...there is nothing wrong with teaching them what your needs are are.

  too manyt people are willing to throw away good relationships for sex.

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  Posted by Mannequin Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:45pm PST

  People are surely deluded. All a woman can see herself lasting with is a guy who will please her in the bedroom , people mainly care about sex only in relationships..

  To make a relationship last you still need Dependability, trust, Love. You can't have a relationship without love.

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