Is Marriage Dying? Why Today's Couples Are Skipping the Church and Vows

From the Community…

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  Posted by Gina Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:25am PDT

  I could care less about debt unless its lack of trying, what i see as a problem is trust and honesty and selfishness, i thought I had it and the person I married said he would never leave me and we could get through anything, what a bunch of crap that ended up being.

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  Posted by None Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:26am PDT

  Sure is, no one is truly in love anymore, its just convenience, loneliness, money, etc.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:32am PDT

  I agree with the younger set so long as they include not having children out of wedlock too. ;-) Save marriage for:

  1. When you are more experienced in life (ie older)

  2. When you are financially sound (no high debt) and/or have a good paying job

  3. When you are truly ready to remain in a committed relationship and have stopped dating losers

  4. When you can provide a stable environment (ie a home) to raise children, if you choose to have them.

  If you don't agree with or like any of those four items above, don't ever get married :-)

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  Posted by Elm Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:10am PDT

  People nowadays are to selfish to get married. It's all become too "it's all about me" to work. Marriage is giving 110% and truly be willing to work on the "for better or WORSE" vow. If you can't do that then do not get married.

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  Posted by Katie B Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:34am PDT

  Would you marry someone with $100K in student loan debt?

  ~~~

  Um, my husband did... and not reluctantly either, because we met before I had that debt and we talked about it... A LOT.... as I was accruing it... it was for a good reason, it wasn't just borrowing money for the short run.

  My husband and I love each other, we are both under 30 and we want to start a family... our faith supports the idea of marriage, but it's so much more than a piece of paper and financial security and I think people forget that.

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  Posted by Natasha Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:37am PDT

  Wow. Out of the four people who commented above, how many have been married? How many of those marriages ended in divorce?

  Here's my take; You only get one shot at life. If you love someone, and feel that a marriage is important to you, do it. If you don't feel that marriage is important, don't do it. Live your life how YOU want to live it. Who cares about the reasoning either way. It's your life, do with it as you please. Regardless, there is no wrong answer.

  Also, if you don't agree with me, that's your call. Unlike Hockey Fan up there, I am happy that you can make your own decisions and don't depend on a stranger from a internet site to draw out guidelines for you to follow.

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  Posted by DAVID G Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:21am PDT

  No, I would not marry someone with $100k student loan debt and mounting credit card debt. Once we are married, that debt becomes my debt as well which means that it will effect everything in our lives from where we live to where our children will go to school. A truely responsible person doesn't acrue mounting credit card debt. Marriage is not a bail-out package. It is an institution in which both people involved bring everything they have to the table, put it together and build a life together. With that much debt and very little prospects in the future, that person isn't bringing much to the table, Which means more problems for me. no thank you.

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  Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:07pm PDT

  Would you marry someone with $100K in student loan debt?

  Yep. My fiance is going to be some $150K in debt pretty soon as he finishes up optometry school. We'll be married halfway through his third year out of four. But we have a plan for paying it back, and, frankly, we consider this debt to be a shared burden because the results of his schooling will benefit us both.

  The problem with marriage today is that people don't get the "for better or for worse" part. They don't understand what "forever" means. A lot of people our age (including my fiance) have watched their parents get divorced, and many no longer see marriage as a permanent state. They just stick around until it no longer benefits them. They don't stay with their partner "for richer or for poorer". I love my fiance, debt or no debt.

  I take him as he is.

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  Posted by None Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:27pm PDT

  Totally agree with "Another Hockey Fan 100% in all the things they said," if you have debts, why can't you wait till you get that debt down? Are you that confident that this person who loves you so much won't turn on you in a second and then divorce you and pile that debt onto you? People be realistic, get pre-nups, you have to protect yourself even in the name of love, what is the rush to get married? Kids yup, always married, should never be out of wedlock and environment stable, just like sex, to me, should be done when you are done with school, have a good job, financially, emotionally, mentally, stable, responsible adult,If it's meant to be, it will.

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  Posted by Jennifer Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:53pm PDT

  Go Natasha!

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