Love + Sex

Monday, November 23, 2009

Is One Month Into Dating Too Soon To Get Hitched?

Word on the street is that Khloe Kardashian will be tying the knot with her LA Lakers boyfriend Lamar Odom this upcoming weekend. If these rumors are correct, that means the two will be agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together after only about a month of dating. But is marrying someone after such a brief time really such a terrible idea? Or does doing so have its benefits? Marriage: Sacred Or Smashed Institution?

We've thought it over, and come up with some reasons in favor of and against marrying someone you hardly know.

The Pros:

1. It can work. George W. Bush popped the question to Laura Welch three weeks after he met her, and married her just a few weeks after that. Today, they've been married over thirty years, raised two children, and survived some of the toughest circumstances a political couple can face (a lost local election, a contested national election, an unpopular presidency, two wars, etc.). So, yes, there are cases when marrying someone you've just met works out just fine.

2. You're tying the knot while things are still hot. You know those couples who date for years before tying the knot? And how their newlywed phase is comfy and cozy and romantic, but not particularly sexy? Marrying someone you hardly know means you will not be one of those boring newlywed couples. No, you will be the sexy newlywed couple. The newlywed couple that goes at it every day of the week and twice on Sundays. You will be that newlywed couple that people will avert their eyes from and barf in their mouths over. Why? Because most smitten couples are that way during the first year, regardless of whether they're married or not. 

3. There are no guarantees, regardless of how long you date someone. Lots of couples who dated for years before getting married get divorced. Lots of couples who dated for weeks before getting married get divorced. Waiting doesn't guarantee a successful, lasting marriage. Marriage And Health: Damned If You Do And Don't

The Cons

1. You hardly know each other. Yes, you know that he likes red sauces more than cream sauces. And he knows you fell off your bike in front of your whole third grade class and never quite lived it down. But do you really know each other's politics, beliefs and ideals? Do you know how the other handles money, stress, and career shifts? Do you know how you interact with each other's friends and families? And do you know that you see yourselves in a similar place, five, ten, and fifty years down the road? 50% Of Women Regret Marrying Their Husbands

2. Living with people you hardly know isn't easy. You know when you and your new best friend at the office are having an amazing time hanging out on your lunch breaks and cracking each other up during after-work happy hours and then one of you suddenly needs a place to live and you decide to become roommates and realize that you can't stand each other? Now imagine doing this with the person you just started dating. Imagine that you're finding his underwear on the bathroom floor every morning and he's cleaning up after your dirty dishes every night. Imagine your new man is your roommate, because that's what he will be if you marry him.

3. You might not actually love each other. You might just be in lust with each other. And lust, while a great jumping off point for love, isn't love and isn't the stuff that long-term relationships are made of.

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Written by Kristen Meinzer for YourTango.com

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 41
  • Super Abuelita's Avatar
    Posted by Super Abuelita Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:02pm PDT

    I would not advise anybody anybody to "get hitched" in that short of time.

    Marriage should be based on respect, love and trust.

    You can't know somebody "that well to do the above in such a short time.

    But, each to their own.

    WHATEVER!

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  • Anita's Avatar
    Posted by Anita Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:03pm PDT

    As crazy as it may sound, it could work. My hubby and I got married soon after dating and we;re both still happy as hell. Although I don't think that celebrity marriages are likely to succeed, couples who get hitched after only dating a short time can def make it work and be happy. At least, I hope so.. : )

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  • Straightfoward(lovely lady)'s Avatar
    Posted by Straightfoward(lovely lady) Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:11pm PDT

    It could work, but i would not advise anyone to get married that quick. You have to have time to really get to know one another. That takes time.

    SF

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  • 80'sgirl's Avatar
    Posted by 80'sgirl Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:19pm PDT

    Absolutly not the first year with someone is the time you need to get to know eachother.

    I was in a relationship many ions ago and the first year was amazing never fought but... 1-exact year later almost to the day our first fight was our last fight.

    Report Abuse
  • Robert's Avatar
    Posted by Robert Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:48pm PDT

    my wife and i got married after six weeks we get along fine and still love each other very much only squabbles are usual ones money and kids

    Report Abuse
  • LadyinVirginia's Avatar
    Posted by LadyinVirginia Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:58pm PDT

    I'm not too sure it can work. Of course on the other hand, well, I dated my now ex-husband for a year and still ended up with a divorce. I do think that you need time to get to know one another a little bit at least and a month to 6 weeks isn't time enough for that.

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  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:07am PDT

    I truly think it depends on the individuals involved. I would venture to say, in my opinion, that I feel mature couples would probably have a better chance of making it after only dating a short time than much younger couples who have yet to have all the "life experience." However, again, it really depends on the two people and how hard they are willing to work at the relationship. As for the Kardashian girl, to be honest, I couldn't care less about her or her family. Still trying to figure out why they are famous!

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  • None's Avatar
    Posted by None Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:29am PDT

    YES!!!!!! Common sense people!

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  • Trini's Avatar
    Posted by Trini Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:26am PDT

    I think it has worked on rear occasions, but it is not a wise thing to do. You do not know enough about this person's health, family, their past [what if he molested someone and you don't know, or was a convicted of a crime and didn't tell you, or used to be in a mental home?...some things you only realize or find out with time]. I think that you shouldn't really be exclusive after knowing someone for only a month, much less to make a commitment as serious as marriage!

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  • Trini's Avatar
    Posted by Trini Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:27am PDT

    P.S. Using Bush was a bad example. I rearly trust the motive of these people's marriages...I honestly think that if Bush or any other political leader could get divorced, they probably will...

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