Love + Sex

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Is Sex all that Matters? Wait Until You're 95 and Still Single...

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Is sex all that matters?

As a frequent Shine! reader (I’ve only posted one blog), I’ve seen a lot of blog post about people being sexually dissatisfied with their boyfriends/girlfriends, and this has caused me to raise an eyebrow. Now, I’m not a sexual prude or an anti-sex advocate, because I will jump on any chance to have sex with my boyfriend, but seriously, sex is not the only thing that matters in relationships.

I came across one blog today that was written by one guy who was upset because his girlfriend of three months didn’t want to have sex with him, and he was thinking about cheating on her to appease his sexual needs. I commend the girlfriend! Who knows someone well enough after three months of dating to give away a precious commodity such as their body? This girl is right on the money to not give sex to a guy who is obviously not in love with her, but is just with her for sex. He really proved that he cared for her, too, by stating that he wants to cheat on her. Give me a break! Is that love? No! If you truly love a person, SEX CAN WAIT! This guy obviously is using his head, but not the one located on top of his shoulders.

Another poster wrote in about how she was unhappy with her boyfriend because his package wasn’t big enough and sex was dissatisfying. Now, this man could be Prince Charming riding in on his white horse, sweeping this girl off her feet with flowers, poetry, song, and enough love to make any woman melt, but it’s not good enough. A guy who knows how to treat a woman but lacks in the sex department is not a great person to be with sexually is junk, but I bet Mr. Sexy Pants with balls larger than volleyballs and a package larger than a Major League baseball bat is fantastic, even though he’s an a**hole. Sometimes, ya gotta love stubmuffins—they give great sex. ~Rolls eyes~ Puh-leeze!

As previously mentioned, I’m no anti-sex saint; far from it. I love sex and I can’t get enough of it, but it’s not the most important thing. I enjoy the fact that my boyfriend and I can go to craft stores (how many ladies can say their men go to craft stores and enjoy it?), sip Starbucks coffee, and play Scrabble for long hours and talk about important issues—at least we have a deep relationship, not a shallow one based on sexual—24/7—sexual desires (even though a night of great sex brings us closer). These things mean more to me than a night of great sex ever will. Why don’t more people think this way instead of focusing their whole livelihood on when the next sexcapades occurs? Relationships aren't just built on sex alone, because relationships are built on SO MUCH MORE!

~Sigh~

Here’s my advice to those who think sex means everything: go buy a giant vibrator and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and turn it on. Maybe the vibrator can shake some sense into ya while it shakes the crap out of ya. Maybe then, people can get their priorities straight.

If people keep thinking sex is the most important thing, there’s going to be a lot of lonely people out there because they’re always going to be unhappy. If one partner isn’t good enough, who’s to say that partner B, C, D, E, etc is going to fulfill al your sexual desires and fantasies? People have the potential to find flaws with everyone sexually, simple as that. Think about this: if people don’t prioritize and start thinking that sex isn’t that important, there’s going to be a lot of single 95 year-olds in the nursing home. By then, will sex be important? You’ll be pretty lonely and the only person who will see you naked is the nurse who is changing your diaper and giving you a sponge bath. Is sex that important? What about friendship and LOVE?

Think on it!

~Marisol out!

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-9 of 9
  • Sensable's Avatar
    Posted by Sensable Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:47am PDT

    You are correct. Most people base there relationships on there sex life. If the sex ain't good nethier will their relationship.

    Based on alot of conversations that I have had and overheard, Sex Is All That Matters. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Sex, however big or small package if you know how to work your Adult Tool than 90% of the time you will always be satisfied. As far as the girls that are having dissatisfying sex,if you care about the dude your with than I suggest you find other was of satisfing each other sexually.

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  • Sensable's Avatar
    Posted by Sensable Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:52am PDT

    You are correct. Most people base there relationships on there sex life. If the sex ain't good nethier will their relationship.

    Based on alot of conversations that I have had and overheard, Sex Is All That Matters. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Sex, however big or small package if you know how to work your Adult Tool than 90% of the time you will always be satisfied. As far as the girls that are having dissatisfying sex,if you care about the dude your with than I suggest you find other was of satisfing each other sexually.

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  • Geri's Avatar
    Posted by Geri Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:49am PDT

    Three cheers for this post, I totally agree with everything written. It's a sad day that relationships are based solely on sex & nothing else but that goes for both sexes.

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  • Sunnyone's Avatar
    Posted by Sunnyone Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:38am PDT

    Sex matters! But you know the marriage vows "for better or for worse", sometimes your best friend, heart beat's life is all that matters. I haven't had sex with my husband in 3 years, he has had prostate cancer, due to all the kemo, radiation,it is impossible. He's still my best friend, lover, best dad, and the best man in the world. His life and happiness is my first priority.

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  • floridagirl's Avatar
    Posted by floridagirl Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:49pm PDT

    THANK YOU MARISOL!!!!! I noticed too that there are a lot of people on here complaining about sex. But I also noticed that most of the people on here are young (like under 20). It's sad that teenagers equate sex with love. They are not interchangable people!!! Just because you jump into bed with someone doesn't mean you are in love. Neither are they in love with you. Take it from someone who learned the lesson the hard way. I'm 40 and did the same thing when I was young. After 12 years of a crappy marriage and 3 kids later, I finally woke up. (married at age 19)Yes I had to go through a few more jerks till the lesson really sank in. But now I have the best man ever. Sex is great but that's not what our relationship is based on. Those relationships never work out. Good sex will never fix relationship problems.

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  • Maria's Avatar
    Posted by Maria Thu Aug 14, 2008 3:01pm PDT

    I really love this post, sex is not about that! Love, happy, god, trust, Compromise and respect. Thats what I believe in.

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  • smiley's Avatar
    Posted by smiley Fri Aug 15, 2008 5:46am PDT

    There are some really loving, kind, compassionate women over 65 who would love to have a meaningful relationship. Instead what most of us experience is the following: After three dates, the guy ages 60+ expects sex. The guy says on the first date that he's not interested in a live-in or marriage relationship because he's been burnt. All he wants is a friend-sex relationship. OR that guy is only looking at the females 20 - 30 years younger than him if he has money.

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  • Frankiarmz's Avatar
    Posted by Frankiarmz Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:47pm PDT

    Sex is not the most important thing to me, but it sure as Hell is high on my list. I'm fifty five years old and married over twenty five years. I'm unable to have sex with my wife due to her health problems and although I am faithful and love her, I am very frustrated, lonely and unhappy. I think of sex as the most wonderful gift God has given us, sex awakens and satisfies my every sense, sight, touch, sound, smell and taste. Sex goes beyond the senses as well to a place where you touch the mind and soul of your lover. You become part of their pleasure as the two of you become one being. I enjoy music, cooking, crafting, being with my children, spending time with my wife and a whole host of other activities, but lovemaking is the ultimate activity two people who love eachother can share in my opinion. There comes a time when as we age the mind and body change and so do our wants, needs and capacity to have sex. I think marriage is a failed institution, created by man to bring order to civilized societies. OVer fifty percent of marriages end in failure and of the remaining married I'm sure a high percent are unhappy. I think women would be wise to find a man who is kind and loving and faithful, and not feel the need to push for marriage, it should be a mutual desire. I read the personals out of curiosity and it is insane how divorced women in their forties with children at home are seeking men who are tall, in shape, enjoy all sorts of activities and earn over $150,000. Ladies, those men want to be with women in their 20's who do not have children and earn good income as well. Change your focus, look for a good man who will treat you well and if he is not in the geatest shape or does not earn a great deal of money, overlook those things. No, sex is not everything, but as man who enjoys making love it is one of the Best things. Frequency of sex is also an individual thing and to put limits on what others need or desire is small minded. You cannot impose your beliefs on others, history has proven that men will cheat, take lovers and do whatever it takes to satisfy their sex drive. What do you do, ration sex out according to your needs? That sounds very one sided. Did you ever think to ask or accomodate your partners needs? Personally, I cannot be loved enough, not hugged, kissed or loved. I do not fear closeness or passion and intimacy. I may never be able to love my wife as I would like, but I will not be told that Sex is not important. Sex is important and as long as there is a human race it must remain important. Learn to enjoy sex and do not put a limit on how often you can celebrate this gift from God!

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  • Hasan's Avatar
    Posted by Hasan Thu Dec 3, 2009 2:11pm PST

    hasangholami81

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