Is the credit crisis leading to more divorces—or keeping wayward couples together?

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  Posted by Princess Mazzo Mon Jan 5, 2009 6:01pm PST

  I think that many are just loosing patience with life.. If you have a meaningful strong loving relationship.. Some could stick together through thick and thin and not worry so much about the crises. I used to worry about my future.. But, then decided you have to live day by day and if you and your mate have the support system going on and not focused on material items, it's possible that you can stay together.. Many let lack of communication take over and that leads to frustration, misery, finances ect.. I have to live one day at a time!! We are a middle class family and have daily struggles but, realize our friendship is more important!!! The kids learn from us too!!! If you raise your children to live comfortable, they too will be relaxed and successful.. The worst is to have EXTREME unreachable goals then of course failure over-rides... More mental health issues, stress,, ect..

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  Posted by Denise Mon Jan 5, 2009 11:56pm PST

  I have a hard time believing that the current credit crisis is leading to more divorces it seems to me that the individuals who pinpoint this as the reason are in denial about the existence of problems in the marriage long before the credit crisis.I personal feel that people are using this reason as a cop out to leave a situation that they no longer want to be in, although they made a commitment to love each other for better or worst and for richer or poorer. Blaming the economic hardship only further proves my point in how we as Americans do not honor the true value of committing ourselves to anything that isn't self fulfilling and it it a sickness that continues to grow until we as a society learn to look at the big picture.

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  Posted by Kate Tue Jan 6, 2009 1:16am PST

  I think that it is incredibly naive to believe that financial hardships have no affect on marriages. Infact one might say that you sound like someone who was never faced with having to decide whether to buy toothpaste or toilet paper. And if by chance you think that sounds far fetched I assure you it is not. I have been there myself quite literally. It is my opinion that there are very few things that do as much damage to a marriage than financial hardship. Especially if it is for a long period of time. I think that stress has different affects on everyone. None of them good. I also think that when things get hard to bear we have a tendency to take it out on those that are closest to us. Sure you hear alot of those feel good stories about sticking together and weathering the storm and it all sounds wonderful. But I think that you will probably find that the numbers dont back up that theory. As far as needing a cop out goes well thats just crap if you ask me, because If you have been through enough.. the damage is done... and you find yourself at the end of your marriage. You don't give a hoot about conjuring up some sort of copout/excuse for why it is over, it just IS.

  Does it mean that you never took your vows seriously, or that you dont know how to commit to anything or that you were just waiting for an excuse to get out of the marriage because suddenly everything about your mate makes your skin crawl. No it doesn't. It is just life. Maybe you do see more people getting divorced these days. You may think that it is because this generation doesn't know anything about commitment. There were just as many if not more men or women in miserable loveless marriages then and yes they may have stayed in them untill they drew their last breath. I don't think that people are as willing to waste their lives staying in a relationship that isnt healthy happy and nurturing for Both. When it isn't the relationship suffers. And you dont get a special place in heaven for suffering it out and wasting the time that you have left that could be spent with someone who does make you happy. Im not saying that you shouldn't have to work at it. But I think we all know in our heart of hearts when a relationship is over.

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  Posted by YourTango Tue Jan 6, 2009 6:55am PST

  The number one thing couples fight about is money. So it doesn't shock me that a recession would lead to more divorces or separations.

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  Posted by Ralph S Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:17am PST

  1970,I received notice that my home mortage payments were in arears,,rasing more hell than the alagater did when the lake went dry,,I challenged the mortage co,,only to find,my wife had written checks,as the register had shown,,she failed to mail them, and used the money for other personal things,,she remarried, I retired four years later,,at age 50

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  Posted by LoverLumps Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:44am PST

  What does marriage mean anymore these days!!! Ugh and hearing about the new spouse in the same house as the first?!?!? That is messed up. People need to honor those marriage vows and learn to respect each other. All this financial crap is disgusting... stop living like you want and be more responsible!! I am a stay at home wife and I know jobs are being lost left and right but dammit... get a grip and help your spouse!!! If you are unable to work like me... I find ways to make his days better by doing things that can improve his state of mind. So that when he gets home all his work issues are left at the door. Money is a problem but if you are a good spouse you can find ways to make yours and his day a little better. I love my husband and find it hard to believe that some spouses would do outrageous thing to there loved ones .. who have hard work days and come home to adulterous spouse. You know when you can say thanks for the simplest things in life you can make them feel better. even just saying THANK YOU FOR TAKING SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME AND THE FAMILY. You wouldn't believe how good that can make them feel. Makes there days a little less s---ty to know that you appreciate there huge contribution to the family. Just cause we having a financial crisis doesn't mean you give up.. it means you change for the better.. you do things to make life seems a little better. No vacation this year.... you bummed? SUCK IT UP!! You married this man or woman for BETTER OR WORSE!!! Learn to freaking deal with it... we didn't have a vacation this year either.. so we stayed home and just relaxed together and enjoyed each others company. It was better than any vacation i have ever been on and we had more time for things that matter like what is for dinner and how much sex you can fit into 1 day!!!

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  Posted by Brenda kay( brennie)Winters Tue Jan 6, 2009 3:17pm PST

  As has been said so many times before-this too shall pass. Trust is the most basic ingrediant in a good marriage-not keeping up with the Joneses (comparing one marriage to another).

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  Posted by A Tue Jan 6, 2009 6:43pm PST

  Its easier to get married than divorce.

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  Posted by anna Wed Jan 7, 2009 6:03am PST

  the only thing i have to say is that we should bear with oneanother no matter the situation we fouud ourselves in,marriage is vary vary sweeet thank u.

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  Posted by Charlene W Wed Jan 7, 2009 8:13am PST

  This is so discouraging. Couples have it backwards. You are suppose to pull together when times are bad and this is not the time to do so. It is said that that two is better than one especially in this economy. I think the latest trend in marriages were based on money and possessions. Young couples wanted enormous homes and expensive cars, but no one told them that you do not know what tomorrow brings and that material goods are only temporary. Who knew that the American carefree lifestyle would end for many. Lastly, couples must learn to connect spiritually and not just monetarly.

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