Woman #1: I'm Mary. I've sold thirteen books. My pilot just got picked up by Sony.
Woman #2: I'm Zoe. My agent is negotiating my M.O.W. with Hallmark. I've got an overall deal at Fox and I'm optioning a feature.
Woman #3: I'm Jean. I've been a producer for years on x y and z and am now ready to try my hand at writing. I teach at UCLA, am getting a PhD and I'm on the WGA writers' board.
Me: (Pause as I try to follow this.) I write a sex and marriage column for Good Housekeeping. (Another pause) That's it.
There's a moment of silence, which is then always filled by Elise.
Elise: And she has sex with her husband THREE TIMES A WEEK!
Then the "ooohs and ahhhs" begin.
So yeah, that's my big claim to fame with these ladies. I'd love to say I had more credits behind me (hey, I did write for TV awhile ago) but the truth is that most of my weight these days are from what's on top of me.
And I'm not complaining. I love being with my husband. Unlike my slump about six months ago (and yeah, even then I still had sex... I think it's important!) my old desire is coming back.
What's so interesting about writing, and sex, is that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it's like you're going through the motions.
Yet suddenly, like a montage from a bad 80's movie, everything falls together: The kids behave, you're down to your fighting form weight wise, you've accepted the tiny wrinkles that have started creeping into your skin (which is weirdly clearing up... you're almost 40... it's about time), you're invited to fabulous writers' meetings, and the husband you've been married to for almost ten years still makes you sigh when you look at him holding your kids at night, causing you to think of love and marriage in terms of the perfection of this photo taken last summer and forget all about the crying, headache, pit stops and screaming that inevitably happen before the Kodak moment.
If only I could get an overall deal at a production house for enjoying sex with my husband. (Well, I guess I could if I wanted to, but porn is not exactly up my alley. So I'll stick to my sex and marriage blog. Besides, I'm about to embark on a whole summer with children. How long before I go nuts and want to kill my husband for no reason other than my own insane crankiness? I give it two weeks. Who wants to go for three?)
Happy Sunday everyone! And tell me: How often do you have sex a week? (Or don't tell me. Whatever.)
* Photo taken last summer in Rock Creek near Mammoth. It's one of Rex's favorite spots in the world. I'd love to go back this summer, but probably will have to wait a year.
Posted by Andrea Frazer
Good Housekeeping
* For More Tips & Tricks You Can Count On: Subscribe to Good Housekeeping & Save!
* New Year's Day Brunch Ideas
* Do You Need a Makeover?
* De-Draft Your Home Today
* What's Your Hairstyle Personality?
Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
