Love + Sex

Last night was, in a word, a doozy. Initially, Janet and I had planned to meet another couple for dinner and a comedy show. I happily thought we were getting back on track until she sent me an ominous text message: "We should talk tonight." Of course, the moment she arrived at my place and we started walking to the restaurant, I just had to know what she meant by that.

"Can't we talk about it later?" Janet asked.

"You can't send me a text like that and just leave me hanging. I've got a huge pit in my stomach now. What's up?"

"I just don't think I can do this, Joe."

"Are you going to break up with me tonight?"

"I think I am."

Crushed. I was crushed

"Is there a chance you won't break up with me?"

"I guess there's a chance," she said.

This didn't exactly make me feel like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber after Lauren Holly tells him their chances of getting together are "more like one in a million." Quite the contrary: me, tough, emotionally distant guy, started to get teary-eyed. I just couldn't believe that I'd found this amazing person, and now I was losing her. I felt like absolute crap.

But we felt bad bailing on our friends this late, so I resolved to pull myself together. And, except for an ugly spat when we first got to the comedy club, Janet and I put up a united front and, once the stand-up started, even enjoyed ourselves a bit. She kept leaning back on me and holding my hand, which was really nice.

That night, we went home together, and much to my surprise, didn't break up. I'm actually headed to Utah for a few days, which will give us some space to figure things out. Then when I return, we can decide for sure what we want to do.