Love + Sex

From the Community…

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  Posted by Erin Flaherty, Shine staff Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:34pm PDT

  HOLD UP!!! Is this chick still mad because you got a random, meaningless email from an ex? Which she found out about because she read your email behind your back!? More importantly, has she even apologized? Maybe I have the facts wrong (totally, entirely possible), but it sounds to me like she's being a total drama queen about the whole thing, not to mention really manipulative. Be careful Joe Hottie!

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  Posted by delete me Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:44pm PDT

  when Janet feels she's been completely heard out over her madness over you will ya'll begin to get along. There's no relationship without trust. I think your ship has past sorry.

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  Posted by digitalkitty98 Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:40am PDT

  One word "Wuss" This relationship is soo over. She's just being nice.

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  Posted by digitalkitty98 Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:41am PDT

  One word "Wuss" This relationship is soo over. She's just being nice.

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  Posted by instrumentjamlord Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:19pm PDT

  "But you really hurt me."

  No, you didn't really hurt her. What you did was answer an email in a way that she didn't approve of.

  It's not like you actually hooked up with your ex, or even kissed her, or anything. Your ex said "I dreamed about you" and you said "Oh really? What?" While it might have been smarter to say "Ex, you really should know I'm together with the dream girl of my life, so conversations like that are now officially out of bounds," what you did was a far cry from actual cheating. Unless there was a lot more in that email that you aren't admitting publicly, Janet decided to wig out over something pretty trivial. That's her doing, not yours. If she's hurting, she's the one who is responsible for the pain.

  My prognosis is that she is going continue to flip over your every interaction with another female, if you behave like anything other than an absolute robot. Even at that, no guarantees. At this point she has decided she cannot trust you (which is not the same thing as you actually being untrustworthy), so everything she sees will be interpreted through green-eyed filters.

  You'd do well to let her ride her paranoias to their illogical conclusion, and be rid of Jealous Janet.

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  Posted by A V Wed May 7, 2008 8:17am PDT

  I'm going thru the same thing right now in reverse... plus we have more years on our relationship. My boyfriend of 13 years... who proposed to me last year, inexplicably pulled "a Janet" recently... complete with the "I don't know"s and "maybe"s and other indicisive comments. I am trying so hard and attempting to not cling to hope but finding myself holding onto it like a baby koala does to it's mom. Moral of my story.. because this isn't about ME... my comment to you and what I've learned lately... there truly is nothing u can do about it. And you need to learn to read between the lines, gather yourself together, pick up the self-confidence you have left, and move on. She's "maybe" interested in trying? She wants to go "really really slow"? Look... You two ARE in different places... different mental places where she can't apparently express herself clearly and you are in love... head over heals in love. This undoubtedly is freaking her out as much as she's being flattered and her ego is appreciating it. THAT is not a real loving relationship. It's someone getting something for selfish gain at your expense, while you hope and wish and wait for more. Life is short. So preciously short. Just move on and she will either come to her senses and call you begging to dive back in. Or, you will find someone more adult and prepared to accept being loved and everything that that means.

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